Nobody can fault you for wanting to spend this weekend "going outside" to do "fun" things, like "traveling" or "vacationing" or "getting sunlight" or "swimming" or even "doing yard work." I mean, those options aren't as jam-packed with TV watching as they could be, but it's a free country, you know? We're not here to judge, only to suggest alternatives:
What to watch on Friday, April 27...
Phew! After yesterday's announcement that Fringe will indeed be back for a fifth season we can breathe a sigh of relief that the end isn't as near as we'd feared. In "World's Apart" (what a difference an apostrophe makes!), the Fringe teams from both universes band together for a common cause. Meanwhile more will be learned about the children from the Cortexiphan experiments. Just FYI.
Paradise continues to be slightly hellish tonight in "Atonement": Ike handles a break-in that really gets on his nerves; Victor plots to sneak his wife out of Cuba; plus Vera pursues no less than Jackie Kennedy for her charity function's guest list. (Just to put things in perspective for younger readers, in her time Jackie Kennedy was almost as famous as Kim Kardsashian is now.)
In "The Girl With the Dungeons and Dragons Tattoo," Dick hires a talented hacker to obtain incriminating information about the Winchester Bros. (Fingers-crossed for tons of risqué .JPEGs!)
SERIES PREMIERE, 9pm, Animal Planet
Whale Wars: Viking Shores
The televised battle continues tonight as the crew of marine-conservation vessel Sea Shepherd redirects their efforts toward the Faroe Islands in the North Atlantic Ocean. Keep up the good fight, soldiers of light!
Phoebe Tonkin on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
The Secret Circle star and TV.com local favorite Phoebe Tonkin will be chattin' it up with everyone's favorite charming Scotsman tonight! Honestly, I'm mostly pointing this out because you GOTTA hear what this lady sounds like with her native accent. Prepare for your head to melt from all the hotness. Oh, and Patton Oswalt will be on too, in case you needed more reason to tune in. (You did not.)
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
Nikita, 8 p.m., CW
Shark Tank, 8 p.m., Fox
The Finder, 8 p.m., Fox
Undercover Boss, 8 p.m., CBS
Who Do You Think You Are?: Rob Lowe, 8 p.m., NBC
Phineas and Ferb, 8:30 p.m., Disney
America's Most Wanted, 9 p.m., Lifetime
Art21: Art in the Twenty-First Century, 9 p.m., PBS
CSI: NY, 9 p.m., CBS
Fairly Legal, 9 p.m., USA
Grimm, 9 p.m., NBC
Primetime: What Would You Do?, 9 p.m., ABC
The Ricky Gervais Show, 9 p.m., HBO
20/20, 10 p.m., ABC
Blue Bloods, 10 p.m., CBS
Dateline NBC, 10 p.m., NBC
Embarrassing Bodies, SERIES PREMIERE, 10 p.m., Discovery Fit & Health
In Plain Sight, 10 p.m., USA
Real Time with Bill Maher, 10 p.m., HBO
The Ultimate Fighter Live, 10 p.m., FX
Chris Hemsworth on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35 p.m., CBS
Matthew Broderick on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:37 a.m., NBC
Mel Gibson & The Wanted on Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:34 p.m., NBC
What to watch on Saturday, April 28...
SERIES PREMIERE, 12am, BBC America
The Thick of It
Before there was HBO's Veep, there was The Thick of It, a British political satire by same writer/director Armando Iannucci. It's dense, fast-paced, insider-y comedy, but word around the office is this series is just as top-notch as Veep is. Give it a whirl!
ORIGINAL MOVIE, 8pm, Lifetime
Um, the premise isn't nearly as bright and breezy as the title suggests: When a nice family notices their neighbor's kids are suspiciously bruised, they begin to suspect the parents might be terrible people. So yeah, file this under Feel Good Saturday Night Flicks!
ORIGINAL MOVIE, 9pm, Syfy
At this point, do you even need to know the premise? Okay, fine: When "otherworldly storms" cause major CGI destruction around the globe, mankind's fate lies in the hands of a single high school student and his science project.
SERIES PREMIERE, 10pm, A&E;
Attention, Survivor fans! Repugnant villain Russell Hantz is BACK and he's flippin' houses for profit. In the premiere of this new A&E; reality series, Hantz and his brother Shawn struggle to renovate their first project as partners.
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
Cats 101, 8 p.m., Animal Planet
Escape Routes, 8 p.m., NBC
iCarly, 8 p.m., Nickelodeon
Tanked, 9 p.m., Animal Planet
The Firm, 9 p.m., NBC
Suze Orman Show, 9 p.m., CNBC
48 Hours Mystery, 10 p.m., CBS
Bizarre E.R., 10 p.m., Discovery Fit & Health
My Mother Diana, ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 10 p.m., TLC
The Graham Norton Show, 11 p.m., BBC America
Katy Brand's Big Ass Show, 12:40 a.m., BBC America
What to watch on Sunday, April 29...
SEASON 3 FINALE, 9pm, CBS
The Good Wife
The Good Wife's typically great, wrenching Season 3 draws to a close tonight with "The Dream Team," in which Lockhart and Gardner face bankruptcy as Louis Canning and Patti Nyholm (guest stars Michael J. Fox and Martha Plimpton) team up to sink the firm. Meanwhile Alicia deals with some conflicting emotions toward Peter and, ominously enough, Kalinda's past catches up to her. Oh well, as long the skeletons in her closet didn't slash her fancy wardrobe to ribbons while they were in there!
Once Upon a Time
Tonight Emma gets advice from August on how to beat out Regina for custody of Henry. Meanwhile Regina decides to seduce David behind Mary Margaret's back. Elsewhere, in a plotline only marginally more fanciful, Geppetto agrees to help save Snow White and Prince Charming's daughter. See, Geppetto doesn't ONLY like little boys.
In "Dr. Yap," Bob returns from a dental appointment under so much anesthesia that he accidentally kisses Linda's sister Gayle. With awkward results, I'm guessing! I don't know that for sure yet. YET.
Game of Thrones
Okay, I think we all want to know what was up with that Shadow Baby, am I right? Tonight we'll find out just how it brings the Baratheon rivalry to an end. Meanwhile Tyrion continues being appalled at Joffrey's decisionmaking, Theon continues being a disloyal jerk, and the Night Watch takes shelter at an ancient fortress. And then like every week, we'll all be incensed to learn we can't just watch the rest of the season immediately afterward.
SEASON 2 FINALE, 9pm, A&E;
It's tough out there for a Sunday night prestige cable drama! If you've been sticking with Breakout Kings this season, you'll be interested to know that tonight's season finale is a 2-hour shindig. In the first hour the gang will track down a fugitive who used to be a circus performer; in the second they'll face a tough decision with a case that hits close to home.
Tonight Hannah gets some disappointing news from her STD test results and decides to make some tough phone calls to ex-boyfriends. Meanwhile Marnie falls for a pretentious artist and Jessa finds herself babysitting children somehow. Honestly, a kid could do worse than have Jessa for a babysitter, you know?
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
60 Minutes, 7 p.m., CBS
America's Funniest Home Videos, 7 p.m., ABC
Dateline NBC, 7 p.m., NBC
The Cleveland Show, 7:30 & 9:30 p.m., Fox
Amazing Race, 8 p.m., CBS
Harry's Law, 8 p.m., NBC
Mob Wives, 8 p.m., VH1
The Simpsons, 8 p.m., Fox
Army Wives, 9 p.m., Lifetime
Celebrity Apprentice, 9 p.m., NBC
Chopped All-Stars, 9 p.m., Food Network
Desperate Housewives, 9 p.m., ABC
Family Guy, 9 p.m., Fox
Long Island Medium, 9 p.m., TLC
Masterpiece Classics: Birdsong, 9 p.m., PBS
MythBusters, 9 p.m., Discovery
Nurse Jackie, 9 p.m., Showtime
Oprah's Next Chapter: Aishwarya Rai, 9 p.m., OWN
The Killing, 9 p.m., AMC
TV Land Awards, AWARDS SPECIAL, 9 p.m., TV Land
Wilson Phillips: Still Holding On, 9 p.m., TV Guide Channel
The Big C, 9:30 p.m., Showtime
Khloe & Lamar, 10 p.m., E!
Mad Men, 10 p.m., AMC
NYC 22, 10 p.m., CBS
River Monsters, 9 p.m., Animal Planet
The Borgias, 10 p.m., Showtime
The Client List, 10 p.m., Lifetime
The Real Housewives of New Jersey, 10 p.m., Bravo
Veep, 10 p.m., HBO
Ice Loves Coco, 10:30 p.m., E!
Loiter Squad, 11:30 p.m., Cartoon Network
Metalocalypse, 12:15 a.m., Cartoon Network
What are you watching this weekend?