How do you feel about weekends? Okay? Lukewarm? Undecided? Me, I'm pretty tootin' jazzed. It's all just sleeping and watching this stuff:
What to watch on Friday, February 3...
A Gifted Man
"In Case of Blind Spots" tells the handsome tale of how Michael rescues a man from drowning only to learn the man has no identity. Meanwhile Kate discovers that she's failed to notice some pretty tough problems being faced by the girl she's mentoring. (She'll understand, Kate. Good hair takes time.)
Tonight Astrid deals with her own alternate universe counterpart. Plus Peter and Olivia race to stop a killer who has some kind of toxic weapon that "defies chronological description." Fair enough, Fox synopsis writers!
Spartacus's reign of liberation continues when he and his men free a bunch of slaves in a nearby Roman villa. Elsewhere, Oenomaus takes a Pit adventure and Lucretia's prophecies create controversy. Also people will continue wearing belts as clothing.
In "The Slice Girls," the Winchester bros look into a series of dead bodies who all have mysterious symbols branded into their flesh as well as missing hands and feet. (Finish dinner before watching?) Meanwhile Dean meets a girl at a bar, but she probably won't have any kind of weird or supernatural connection to him, don't worry.
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
Kitchen Nightmares, 8 p.m., Fox
Nikita, 8 p.m., CW
Shark Tank, 8 p.m., ABC
Star Wars: The Clone Wars, 8 p.m., Cartoon Network
Who Do You Think You Are?: Martin Sheen, SEASON 3 PREMIERE, 8 p.m., NBC
America's Most Wanted, 9 p.m., Lifetime
CSI: NY, 9 p.m., CBS
Gold Rush, 9 p.m., Discovery
Grimm, 9 p.m., NBC
Primetime: What Would You Do?, 9 p.m., ABC
The Life and Times of Tim, 9 p.m., HBO
Tyler Perry's House of Payne, 9 p.m., TBS
On Freddie Roach, 9:30 p.m., HBO
20/20, 10 p.m., ABC
Bering Sea Gold, 10 p.m., Discovery
Confessions: Animal Hoarding, 10 p.m., Animal Planet
Dr. G: Medical Examiner, 10 p.m., Discovery Fit & Health
Four Weddings, 10 p.m., TLC
Merlin, 10 p.m., Syfy
Portlandia, 10 p.m., IFC
Real Time with Bill Maher, 10 p.m., HBO
The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret, 10:30 p.m., IFC
Marvel Anime: Blade, 11 p.m., G4
Daniel Radcliffe on The Wendy Williams Show, 12 a.m., BET
Debra Messing and Jean Dujardin on Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:35 p.m., NBC
M83 on Last Call with Carson Daly, 1:35 a.m., NBC
Michelle Williams on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35 p.m., CBS
Rachel Bilson on Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS
Snoop Dogg and Shaquille O'Neal on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:35 a.m., NBC
What to watch on Saturday, February 4...
9pm, BBC America
Tonight Paul's friends and family deal with the aftermath of his unfortunate incident. Meanwhile the Angelics continue their morality battle and also a strange man with bad brains arrives to make even more trouble for everyone. Growing up is hard.
Attention M.C. Hammer, today's a good day to get out of bed: Kids are paying tribute to you on Nickelodeon! Tonight on Victorious, Andre and Robbie lose a bet to Jade and must dance like the aforementioned '90s parachute pants aficionado. Meanwhile Tori performs at an underground club in the hopes of improving her acting/lying skills.
An Idiot Abroad: The Bucket List
Tonight Ricky and Stephen tell Karl Pilkington he's on his way to Australia for a swim with dolphins but he actually ends up in Thailand for a swim with something way worse. Oh well, better luck next time, Karl.
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
Cops, 8 p.m., Fox
My Cat From Hell, 8 p.m., Animal Planet
Austin City Limits: Wilco, 9 p.m., PBS
Oddities, 9 p.m., Science
Suze Orman Show, 9 p.m., CNBC
Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry?, 9 p.m., Investigation Discovery
48 Hours Mystery, 10 p.m., CBS
Graham Norton Show, 10 p.m., BBC America
Would You Rather? With Graham Norton, 11 p.m., BBC America
Saturday Night Live with Channing Tatum and Bon Iver, 11:30 p.m., NBC
What to watch on Sunday, February 5...
3pm PST / 6pm EST, NBC
Super Bowl XLVI: Patriots vs. Giants
I don't know what this is. Some kind of dishware showcase?
SEASON 2 PREMIERE, 7pm PST / 10pm PST (Following the Super Bowl), NBC
It's back! The singing competition people are actually excited about! Join celebrity mentors Christina Aguilera, Adam Levine, Cee Lo Green, and Blake Shelton for tonight's Season 2 premiere in which "blind auditions" decide the judges' four teams of twelve. Which possibly unsightly but indubitably funky scream-yeller will be your top pick??
As the household continues preparing for the war's end, the Crawleys get pretty stoked to have their house back again. But then, you know, cousin Isobel bums everyone out with her suggestions for an alternative use of the house. Elsewhere a wounded soldier makes a "startling claim" that could sully the whole Downton succession scheme. My word!
The situation at the track heats up for everyone as Ace starts lining up potential investors for his next big business. Elsewhere Jerry nearly loses the farm in a high-stakes poker game, Walter looks for a new jockey, and Renzo gets himself in hot water when he makes a claim on an Escalante horse. (Fingers crossed for a scratchers-related subplot. THAT I can relate to.)
Not sure why HBO bumped this series to HBO2 in favor of a Luck rerun. It's gotten so good! Oh well. Things worsen for Tim when he clashes with his mom during a photo shoot. Plus Nathan becomes reluctant to go to boarding school, and Gran deals with personal tragedy that may or may not have to do with her guinea pigs.
Tonight Frank considers claiming the late Eddie Jackson's pension, Fiona attends a fancy wedding with her rich boo, and Lip finds out some startling information about Karen and Jody. And then everyone will take their clothes off and roll around in mud and flash their junk and cuss a bunch.
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
Chasing Gaga, ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 9 p.m., TV Guide Channel
House of Lies, 10 p.m., Showtime
Californication, 10:30 p.m., Showtime
Jimmy Fallon's Super Bowl Special, 11:35 p.m., NBC
Mary Shelley's Frankenhole, SEASON 2 PREMIERE, 12:15 a.m., Cartoon Network
What are you watching this weekend?