What to Watch This Weekend: GCB, A Gifted Man, and Lindsay Lohan on SNL

Your enjoyment of this weekend is written in the stars! Your happiness is predestined! Your smile is truly meant to be! Same goes for your television, which has been looking forward to entertaining you all week. Here's how it'll do that:

What to watch on Friday, March 2...



9pm, NBC
Grimm
Tonight the guys take a look into a botched jewelry store robbery in which rare coins may or may not hold a fantastical secret. Meanwhile one of Aunt Marie's friends pays Nick a visit with info about his slightly strange family.

SEASON 1 FINALE, 9pm, CBS
A Gifted Man
Say goodbye (temporarily?) to one of TV's handsomest doctors! In the season finale of A Gifted Man, Michael realizes that a new patient at the clinic has an interesting link to his deceased wife. Elsewhere Michael has a poignant reunion with an old friend who suffers from an unusual illness. Come back soon, Patrick Wilson! (Any show, doesn't matter.)

10pm, Starz
Spartacus: Vengeance
In "Chosen Path," the S-Man must rally his rebels in order to start properly defending their newfound sanctuary. Meanwhile Glaber recruits a handful of powerful new pals onto his team. It's unclear in what ways they'll be powerful, but you can bet they'll probably have a talent for poor hygiene and immodest sartorial decisions!

SERIES PREMIERE, 8pm, MTV
The Break
Presumably hoping to offset some of the bad TV karma it creates through much of its other reality programming, tonight MTV premieres this reality series about young homeless people who attempt to turn their lives around. Sad! Inspiring! 100 percent lacking in teen wolves, but no show is perfect!

PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
Fred: The Show, 8 p.m., Nickelodeon
Shark Tank, 8 p.m., ABC
Star Wars: The Clone Wars, 8 p.m., Cartoon Network
Undercover Boss, 8 p.m., CBS
Who Do You Think You Are?: Reba McEntire, 8 p.m., NBC
America's Most Wanted, 9 p.m., Lifetime
Gold Rush, REUNION SPECIAL, 9 p.m., Discovery
Primetime: What Would You Do?, 9 p.m., ABC
Tyler Perry's House of Payne, 9 p.m., TBS
20/20, 10 p.m., ABC
Bering Sea Gold, 10 p.m., Discovery
Blue Bloods, 10 p.m., CBS
Dateline NBC, 10 p.m., NBC
Four Weddings, 10 p.m., TLC
Merlin, 10 p.m., Syfy
Portlandia, 10 p.m., IFC
Real Time with Bill Maher, 10 p.m., HBO

LATE-NITE PICKS:
Bruce Springsteen on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:35 a.m., NBC
Dennis Miller on Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS
Emily Blunt & Geoff Stults on Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:35 p.m., NBC



What to watch on Saturday, March 3...

11:30pm, NBC
Saturday Night Live
At this point the only thing more surprising than Lindsay Lohan still being alive is that she's now going to be hosting SNL for the fourth time. Congratulations, Lindsay Lohan! Tonight, whether you're a supportive fan or just a rubbernecker, tune in to see how she does and also to enjoy the sweet jams of Jack White.

SERIES PREMIERE, 8pm, Fox
Q'Viva! The Chosen
I'm just as shocked as you are that Jennifer Lopez has turned out to be a pretty darn good judge on American Idol. She's more knowledgeable about music than you'd guess from the majority of her musical output, PLUS she's incredibly charming. Q'Viva! The Chosen places her firmly in a world she understands: that of Latin singers. Joining in her search for the next big Latin sensation will be Lopez's ex-husband Marc Anthony and slightly more vibrant Jamie King.

ORIGINAL MOVIE, 8pm, Lifetime
Blue-Eyed Butcher
The thing about Lifetime Original Movies is that much of the time they never live up to how good their titles are. Because LOOK at this title! Anyway, this movie tells the true tale of a suburban housewife who stabbed her husband nearly 200 times and then buried his body in the backyard. Was she merely defending herself from abuse, or was she just a blue-eyed butcher?? Good question, excellent question.

SERIES PREMIERE, 11:30pm, BBC America
Katy Brand's Big Ass Show
BBC America's really carving out a niche for itself as another Saturday night destination for sketch comedy, isn't it? Tonight sees the premiere of U.K. comedienne Katy Brand's sketch show, the aptly titled Katy Brand's Big Ass Show. In it she'll not only mock public figures but also bring in some off-the-wall original characters for your chucklin' enjoyment.

PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
20/20: My Extreme Affliction, 9 p.m., ABC
Being Human (U.K.), 9 p.m., BBC America
Oddities, 9 p.m., Science
Parking Wars, 9 p.m., A&E;
The Firm, 9 p.m., NBC
Suze Orman Show, 9 p.m., CNBC
Too Cute! Kittens & Pocket Pets, 9 p.m., Animal Planet
48 Hours Mystery, 10 p.m., CBS
An Idiot Abroad: The Bucket List, 10 p.m., Science
Billy the Exterminator, 10 p.m., A&E;
Bizarre E.R., 10 p.m., Discovery Fit & Health
The Graham Norton Show, 10:15 p.m., BBC America


What to watch on Sunday, March 4...

SERIES PREMIERE, 10pm, ABC
GCB
GCB (originally titled Good Christian Bitches) is ABC's newest comedy-soap and the network is probably hoping it'll take over for Desperate Housewives once that show departs our mortal realm in May. It tells the tale of a disgraced widow who returns to the affluent Dallas social circle from whence she came. As it turns out the ladies she was mean to in high school don't necessarily want her there and all sorts of drama ensues! It's unclear if this show will be a keeper or not (Lily's advice is forthcoming), but it might be worth it just to see certifiably tiny Kristin Chenoweth doing her thang.

8pm, ABC
Once Upon a Time
I mean, I'm guessing those of you OUaT die-hards can read a description like this and not write it off as ridiculous: Mary Margaret teams up with Leroy to help the town nuns sell candles at the Miner's Day Festival and also Grumpy falls in love with a clumsy fairy. Was I correct? Seems like a reasonable and compelling episode of TV? I can't tell!

SEASON 6 PREMIERE, 9pm, Lifetime
Army Wives
In "Winds of War," the ladies of Fort Marshall must deal with an approaching hurricane! Get out of there, ladies of Fort Marshall!

9pm, AMC
The Walking Dead
We're definitely deep into the part of the season when everyone is just getting on everyone else's damn nerves. In tonight's episode, Rick and Shane make a decision that Dale finds appalling. Plus Carl does something that has an "unexpected impact." And everyone will question why they're all hanging out together still (or at least WE will).

SEASON 2 PREMIERE, 10pm, A&E;
Breakout Kings
One of A&E;'s best (only) scripted drama series returns tonight with "An Unjust Death," in which the team of sorta-criminals tracks down a serial killer. At the same time the entire program ends up in jeopardy when Charlie is offered a promotion. (Take it, guy.)

SERIES PREMIERE, 9pm, VH1
Stevie TV
Although this show arrives about four years after she first became popular, that doesn't make Stevie Ryan any less funny. The popular YouTube comedienne's new sketch show debuts tonight and in it she'll skewer her usual menagerie of celebrity targets: Kim Kardashian, Kendra Wilkinson, Katy Perry, Justin Bieber, and any number of other VH1 personalities. Somebody's got to! Good luck, lady.

PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
60 Minutes, 7 p.m., CBS
America's Funniest Home Videos, 7 p.m., ABC
The Cleveland Show, 7:30 p.m., Fox
Amazing Race, 8 p.m., CBS
Mob Wives, 9 p.m., VH1
The Simpsons, 8 p.m., Fox
Napoleon Dynamite, SEASON 1 FINALE, 8:30 p.m., Fox
Celebrity Apprentice, 9 p.m., NBC
Desperate Housewives, 9 p.m., ABC
Family Guy, 9 p.m., Fox
Hoarding: Buried Alive, 9 p.m., TLC
Luck, 9 p.m., HBO
Nightmare Next Door, 9 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Ninja Warrior, SEASON PREMIERE, 9 p.m., G4
Shameless, 9 p.m., Showtime
The Real Housewives of Atlanta, 9 p.m., Bravo
Worst Cooks in America, 9 p.m., Food Network
American Dad!, 9:30 p.m., Fox
Storage Wars, 9:30 p.m., A&E;
Comic Book Men, 10 p.m., AMC
CSI: Miami, 10 p.m., CBS
Eastbound & Down, 10 p.m., HBO
House of Lies, 10 p.m., Showtime
Khloe & Lamar, 10 p.m., E!
My Strange Addiction, 10 p.m., TLC
Ralphie May: Too Big to Ignore, ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 10 p.m., Comedy Central
The Kandi Factory, SERIES PREMIERE, 10 p.m., Bravo
Californication, 10:30 p.m., Showtime
Ice Loves Coco, 10:30 p.m., E!
Life's Too Short, 10:30 p.m., HBO
Top Shot, 11 p.m., History Channel
China, IL, 12 a.m., Cartoon Network
Talking Dead, 12 a.m., AMC
Mary Shelley's Frankenhole, 12:15 a.m., Cartoon Network



What are you watching this weekend?

Comments (31)
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a friend's sister-in-law makes $65 hourly on the laptop. She has been laid off for 6 months but last month her pay was $19426 just working on the laptop for a few hours. Go to this web site and read more NuttyRich . com
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Grimm, Once Upon a Time and Breakout Kings. Missing Fringe, though, a lot. The weekend just isn't the same, lol.
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Once Upon a Time, The Walking Dead, Shameless, Luck, House of Lies, Californication
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Spartacus, Merlin and The Simpsons...
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SNL, The Amazing Race, Desperate Housewives and The Walking Dead.
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Oh, bloody hell. No Fringe. And another weekend without The Good Wife. Feels like I'm about to go into withdrawal. At least we still have Shameless ...
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Grimm, Spartacus: Vengeance

Saturday Night Live

Once Upon A Time, The Walking Dead, The Cleveland Show, Desperate Housewives, The Simpsons, Family Guy, Finding Bigfoot
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Saturday: Ben 10: Ultimate Alien and DC Nation
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NBA, Spartacus, Walking Dead,
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Friday: Grimm Sat: SNL Sunday: Once Upon a Time, Desp. H'wives, GCB {YAY-it's finally here!}, The Cleveland Show and Family Guy.
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Friday: Star Wars Clone Wars.



Saturday: Lindsay Lohan Disaster Hour and a Half.



Sunday: Fox animation minus N.D., Good Wife, CSI Miami, China Il, Frankenhole.
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A GIFTED MAN (PLEASE COME BACK FOR A 2nd SEASON!!)

and Grimm ;)
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Friday. Grimm, A gifted man and undercover boss

sat. billy the exterminator.

sun. OUaT, GCB, The Good Wife, and CSI Miami
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Friday: Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Shark Tank, Grimm, and Spartacus Vengance

Saturday: Nothing

Sunday: The Walking Dead and Once Upon a Time
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Once Upon a time. And for the record A & E has more then one scripted drama, it has The Glades which is an awesome show!
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Grimm at some point and the OUAT and House of Lies....
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It's a good job that there's a tonne of shows on on Sunday, because Friday is crap! Where have all the good shows gone? Seriously, can anybody tell me? Are they hiding out on a different night and just not told me?



Anyway, Being Human, Graham Norton, Jon Stewart and, if the guests are any good, Jonathan Ross. (Maybe Spartacus if I can be bothered to get myself up-to-date with it.)



Once Upon A Time, Breakout Kings (yay), The Walking Dead, The Talking Dead, The Cleveland Show, Family Guy, American Dad, Frankenhole, Shameless, Californication, House of Lies and Eastbound.
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Grimm tonight.

Nothing on Saturday.

Sunday: OUAT, The Walking Dead, House of Lies, Californication, and maybe Breakout Kings (I still can't remember if I watched all of season one).



I'm giving up on Luck -- it's smart and well made, but I just get bored of the horsies.
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Friday: Blue Bloods

Saturday: -

Sunday: Desperate Housewives, Californication, American Dad, Family Guy and The Cleveland Show
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Grimm, A Gifted Man, Blood Bloods, Being Human (UK), Once Upon A Time, House of Lies, Californication
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Friday: Grimm, Spartacus: Vengeance.

Saturday: Nothing.

Sunday: Once Upon a Time, The Walking Dead, The Good Wife, Californication, Shameless, House of Lies and Breakout Kings. And I guess I have to check out GCB, just to see why everyone are talking about it.
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Very excited about GCB! Apart from that, just OUaP.
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Friday: A Gifted Man, Grimm, Merlin, reruns... Saturday: The Firm, reruns... Sunday: more reruns...
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The Walking Dead.
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Blue Bloods and the Firm
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Fri: Merlin, Grimm and Portlandia.

Sat: Young Justice animation, SNL, Being Human UK, Graham Norton and An Idiot Abroad.

Sun: AFV, Once Upon a Time, The Amazing Race, The Walking Dead, Talking Dead, Fox animation and Hoarding: Buried Alive.
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Friday: Grimm, Blue Bloods, and Merlin



Sunday: Once Upon a Time, The Walking Dead, and Breakout Kings.
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Friday: Who Do You Think You Are? (finally, somebody I'm interested in!), Grimm, Spartacus, and Emily Blunt on Leno



Saturday: probably that Too Cute! thing on Animal Planet



Sunday: Once Upon a Time, Desperate Housewives, Shameless, The Walking Dead, GCB and House of Lies
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Friday: Grimm.

Saturday: Being Human.

Sunday: Once Upon a Time, The Walking Dead.
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Friday: Blue Bloods (have I mentioned how much in love I am with yet another hiatus?)

Sunday: OUaT, Walking Dead, Celebrity Apprentice
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Grimm, Once Upon a Time, The Walking Dead & House of Lies.



Very disturbed by "Mary Shelley's Frankenhole" -- really doesn't sound like a kids program :P
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