What to Watch This Weekend: Nikita and Happy Endings, Melissa McCarthy on SNL, Three Showtime Finales, and Mad Men's Season 6 Premiere

What to watch on Friday, April 5...

8pm & 8:30pm, ABC
Happy Endings
After Max gets some choice dish on Jane and Alex from their hairdresser (RuPaul), his blabbermouth threatens to spark a Kerkovitch vs. Kerkovitch kerfuffle, or for short, a KK... wait. Actually, let’s just move on to “Bros Before Bros,” in which Penny tries to reconnect with her estranged father (Andy Ricther) with hilariously mixed results, while Max is torn when he finds romance amid Dave’s mortal food truck enemies.

8pm, The CW
A new prosthetic hand could restore Michael to his old self, but at a severe cost. Will Nikita let him use her Amazon Prime membership to at least save on the shipping and handling? Elsewhere in “Tipping Point,” Alex and Sean try to sniff out the source of Division’s violent mutiny.

9pm, CBS
Howdy, Vegas. Welcome to Friday nights. As you’ve probably heard, this has become quite the bustling neighborhood, and I’m sure you’ll fit right in at the next block party. Just, if Cult hands you a drink, I would maybe think twice about it. Anyway, what have you got for us this week in “Little Fish?” Sheriff Lamb clashes with the feds when they shield a pimp—and possible informant against Savino—from facing charges. Oh, and you’ve also brought guest-star Anna Camp as a Hollywood starlet who catches Dixon’s eye? Now that’s how you make a good impression, Vegas.

9pm, NBC
Rosalee is “One Angry Fuchsbau” when she serves jury duty and realizes the defense attorney is manipulating the case with his Wesen-y ways. It’s up to Nick, Hank, and Monroe to curtail the crooked counselor through their labyrinthine knowledge of Oregon trial law. Or with axes. Yeah, axes would do the trick too.

9pm, Starz
Spartacus: War of the Damned
Spartacus and the rebels learn of Crixus’s fate in “The Dead and the Dying,” but a chance encounter offers them the opportunity to strike back at Roman forces. In Crassus’s camp, news of Pompey’s impending arrival complicates the imperator’s military and political plans.

9pm, Disney
Gravity Falls
After stumbling upon a hidden room in the Shack, Dipper and Mabel both try to claim ownership of the new digs in “Carpet Diem.” But their competition is complicated by the magical body-swapping powers of the carpet, which ties the room, and the Pines siblings’ personalities, together.

This globetrotting newsmagazine delves into unusual and bracing stories, possibly to the moody strains of “In the Air Tonight.” The premiere explores political rivalries in the Philippines that take a turn for the bloody, and the Taliban’s recruitment of Afghan children to act as suicide bombers.

– Demetri Martin and Gin Wigmore on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:35pm, NBC
– Chelsea Handler, Ross Bennett, and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35pm, CBS
– Anderson Cooper, Taran Killam, and Cat Power on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:37am, NBC


What to watch on Saturday, April 2...

8pm, BBC America
Doctor Who
In “The Rings of Akhaten,” the Doctor whisks Clara away to the planet Akhaten, where they mingle with royalty and share in the merriment of the Festival of Offerings. Sadly, it turns out this is one of those festivals that requires a sacrifice, which tends to put a damper on the fun. Next year they should totally check out Milwaukee Summerfest instead. Good kielbasa, fewer spooky pyramids of doom.

9pm, NBC
Now look, Smash. I know this move to Saturday can’t be easy. I know you’ve heard a lot of chatter that can only have been... let’s call it “dispiriting.” Yet I also know you’ll dig way down deep and muster the resolve to soldier on! You’ll air “The Surprise Party,” complete with guest-star Liza Minnelli attending Tom’s big bash for Ivy, and you’ll ratchet up that tension among Karen, Jimmy, and Derek. You’ll show the haters what you’re made of, dammit! Just ignore those repeats of Betty White’s Off Their Rockers measuring this timeslot for curtains.

9pm, ABC
General Hospital: The Real Soap Dish
A special edition of 20/20 sends host Katie Couric to picturesque, fictitious Port Charles, NY to commemorate this week’s 50th anniversary of General Hospital. Cast interviews include Anthony Geary and Genie Francis (better known as Luke and Laura), as well as Maurice Benard, Jack Wagner, and Rick Springfield.

11:30pm, NBC
Saturday Night Live
Host Melissa McCarthy’s latest movie is Identity Thief. Musical guest Phoenix’s latest record is Bankrupt!. SNL’s bookers have cleverly designed a theme show meant to comment on the range of financial hazards which can impair one’s credit score in 21st century America.


What to watch on Sunday, April 7...

Mad Men
Don kicks off a new campaign as “The Doorway” kicks off a new season, while Roger receives worrisome news and Betty entertains a houseguest. It’s a safe bet that every Mad Men synopsis this year will be equally anodyne, so each week I shall invent a fake plot to liven things up a touch. This week, Pete and Trudy attend a Flintstones fan convention dressed as Fred and Wilma.

9pm, HBO
Game of Thrones
Arya encounters the Brotherhood Without Banners, Shae seeks a favor from Tyrion, and Sansa shares a perhaps too-candid meeting with the Tyrells. Elsewhere in “Dark Wings, Dark Words,” Jaime finds a way to pass the time as Brienne squires him across Westeros. Maybe he takes up juggling? I bet juggling would be a suitable and gratifying hobby for ol’ Jaime Lannister, yesiree bob.

SEASON 3 FINALE, 9pm, Showtime
The family fetes Lip for graduating high school in “Survival of the Fittest.” Fiona cooks up a surprise party, and even a newly flush Frank gets in on the generosity by taking the kid out to dinner with his gambling spoils. Hang on, something’s not right here. Hey, episode summary. Which Frank are you talking about? Frank Gallagher? Seriously? You’ve checked with Showtime and everything? All right, if you say so.

9:30pm, Fox
The Cleveland Show
A simple retaliatory egging against Arianna the Bear (Arianna Huffington) sends Cleveland spiraling into a town-wide revenge spree—and he soon finds himself falsely accused of homicide. His only hope of exoneration lies with Freight Train, Rallo, Junior, and their elaborate murder mystery spoof in “Who Done Did It.”

10pm, Lifetime
The Client List
Linette wants Katie to enter a local pageant in “Hell on Heels,” and it’s not hard to see why. I hear you can win as much as ten American dollars if you even take second place in one of those things. Elsewhere, Selena and Derek stumble into awkwardness in a coed locker room, and Lacey and Dale consult a fertility specialist.

SEASON 2 FINALE, 10pm, Showtime
House of Lies
The Pod seals a key deal and Doug pops the question to his girlfriend as “Til Death Do Us Part” closes out the sophomore season. In sketchier developments, Marty’s shady activities fuel tension among his team.

SEASON 6 FINALE, 10:30pm, Showtime
“I’ll Lay My Monsters Down” finds Hank considering his future and Faith’s part in it, while Charlie and Marcy assess their own relationship. And Atticus’s gig with Marilyn Manson at the Greek Theatre is waiting, if only a ragtag crew can scrape together enough pluck to deliver him there on time.


And now, let’s all vote to crown the What to Watch Tonight Episode Title of the Week!

Comments (401)
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400th comment. I'm pretty bored right now. Waiting for GoT to download. It's a few minutes away.
Though I've already watched the season finale of Californication.
GOT is off my schedule
Aww, The Good Wife isn't on tonight :(
Juggling! What you did there, I see it!
I have no idea to what you are referring, friend. :) Juggling is a hobby all can enjoy!
Congratulations Tv.com!! Tonight SnL is finally a NEW EPISODE!! Yep! I guess you figured you would just put NEW behind it each week until it was actually true!! WAY 2 GO!! Not sure about the many many other RE-RUNS you put NEW BEHIND EACH THOUGH! but I'll take it....so thank you!
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