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What to Watch This Weekend: Portlandia and the Series Premieres of The Firm and House of Lies

We did it! We all tumbled through the paper-tape finish line in a million-way tie for first place, then tumbled to the ground in a heap of joy. Our trophy? The weekend. Our spoils? A bunch of good TV:

What to watch on Friday, January 6...



9pm, CW
Supernatural
In "Adventures in Babysitting," Sam helps a teen girl search for her supernatural-investigator father. Elsewhere, Dean goes on the hunt for Dick Roman (who despite that name is probably not a 1970s male porn star).

SEASON 2 PREMIERE, 10pm, IFC
Portlandia
Although not the ratings juggernaut that is Fred Armisen's day job (SNL), Portlandia can boast one of the most widely praised comedy reputations among hipsters and other critical tastemakers. (This show is ABOUT those types of people, after all.) Now that we've all watched Season 1 on Netflix Instant (RIGHT?) it's time to tune in for the much awaited Season 2 premiere! Topics to be skewered include mixology and home-pickling.

SERIES FINALE, 8pm, Disney
Wizards of Waverly Place
This is not the first time I've un-ironically endorsed Wizards of Waverly Place, but it's probably the last! That's because tonight is the show's series finale. The hour-long episode will finally answer the series-long question of which of the three siblings will become the family wizard (only one family member ever gets to keep his or her powers, FYI). Although this show is sort of headache-inducing, I'm telling you, it's charmingly absurd and Selena Gomez is genuinely funny on it, despite seeming super boring in real life. (Question: Does this endorsement cancel out any hipster cred I may have earned by praising Portlandia?)

10pm, CBS
Blue Bloods
In "Whistle Blower," Erin is devastated to learn that her primary informant has been killed, so she teams up with Danny to figure out who did it. VERY serious stuff going on over there. No child wizards of any kind.

SEASON 2 PREMIERE, 10:30pm, IFC
The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret
Yet another of IFC's cult comedy hits returns tonight when David Cross's title character finds himself in a troublesome situation and his attempts to solve things just make everything worse. (That's sort of the show's premise.)

PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
A Gifted Man, 8 p.m., CBS
Chuck, 8 p.m., NBC
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, 8 p.m., ABC
Nikita, 8 p.m., CW
Star Wars: The Clone Wars, 8 p.m., Cartoon Network
America's Most Wanted, 9 p.m., Lifetime
CSI: NY, 9 p.m., CBS
Gold Rush, 9 p.m., Discovery
Infested!, 9 p.m., Animal Planet
The Life and Times of Tim, 9 p.m., HBO
Tom Papa's Stand-Up Playlist, ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 9 p.m., Comedy Central
Tyler Perry's House of Payne, 9 p.m., TBS
20/20, 10 p.m., ABC
Confessions: Animal Hoarding, 10 p.m., Animal Planet
Dateline NBC, 10 p.m., NBC
Deadly Women, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Four Weddings, 10 p.m., TLC
Merlin, SEASON 4 PREMIERE, 10 p.m., Syfy
Marvel Anime: X-Men, 11 p.m., G4

 

LATE-NITE PICKS:
David Duchovny and Wild Flag on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:35 a.m., NBC
Don Cheadle and David Cross on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 12 a.m., ABC
Glenn Close on Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:35 p.m., NBC
Kristen Bell on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35 p.m., CBS
Michael Clarke Duncan and Laura Prepon on Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS
Rosie Perez on The Wendy Williams Show, 12 a.m., BET



What to watch on Saturday, January 7...

11:30pm, NBC
Saturday Night Live
Noted comedian Charles Barkley returns to SNL tonight to read cue cards in a very likable way, plus Kelly Clarkson will be there to bust out some new hot jams. (Is that a phrase young people use?)

ORIGINAL MOVIE, 8pm, Hallmark Channel
Fixing Pete
The Hallmark Channel would very much appreciate it if you tuned into its newest direct-to-TV romantic comedy, Fixing Pete, in which a fashion columnist played by Brooke Burns attempts to give a handsome-but-sloppy sports writer a makeover. There is a chance they fall in love too, but who can say? I am not psychic and neither are you. (Right??)

SEASON 2 PREMIERE, 8pm, Animal Planet
My Cat From Hell
One of the best-titled shows on television is actually a bit misleading: The moral of every episode is that the cat is fine and its owner is the problem. Okay, whatever Jackson Galaxy, like I'm supposed to trust a host who drives around with the vanity plate "CAT DADDY." That said, this is definitely a good show to watch if you like your cat videos vicious, and tonight's premiere involves an aggressive cat who terrorizes a couple's in-home Pilates studio.

PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
Cops, 8 p.m., Fox
Suze Orman Show, 9 p.m., CNBC
48 Hours Mystery, 10 p.m., CBS
Graham Norton Show, 10 p.m., BBC America
Untold Stories of the E.R., 10 p.m., Discovery Fit & Health
Would You Rather? With Graham Norton, 11 p.m., BBC America


What to watch on Sunday, January 8...

8pm, ABC
Once Upon a Time
Things get contentious in Storybrooke when Emma runs for public office and Mr. Gold and Regina take the other side. Meanwhile, in the fairytale world, an increasingly desperate Rumplestiltskin attempts to save his son from a futile war. Or something. I don't know, ask Lily.

SERIES PREMIERE, 9pm, NBC
The Firm
If you enjoyed the John Grisham novel or the Tom Cruise-starring film adaptation, you MIGHT like this 10-years-later TV sequel of the same name. In it, main attorney dude Mitchell McDeere (Josh Lucas) resurfaces after a long exile and works to bring down the dastardly law firm that tried to have him killed. Also starring Battlestar Galactica's Tricia Helfer, Deadwood's Molly Parker, and celebrated musician Juliette Lewis.

9pm, CBS
The Good Wife
A divorce gone awry comes back to haunt Lockhart/Gardner when the couple in question brings a multimillion dollar lawsuit against the firm. Turns out it's a bad thing when lawyers convince you to divorce for financial gain? Tell it to my 17 ex-wives!

SERIES 2 PREMIERE, 9pm, PBS
Downton Abbey
The BBC's unlikely smash hit returns to PBS with the U.S. premiere of its second series (pro tip: Series 1 can be seen on Netflix Instant RIGHT THIS SECOND). Tonight's episode deals with WWI, specifically certain characters' presence in the trenches and others back home trying to get involved somehow. Also manners, manors, maids, butlers, etc.

SERIES 7 PREMIERE, 10pm, BBC America
Absolutely Fabulous
Tonight's thoroughly welcome British invasion continues when BBC America premieres the first of three new AbFab episodes! In "Identity," Patsy and Edina opine about such current tabloid fixtures as the Kardashians and Edina does some soul-searching after an unsettling homecoming at Chez Monsoon.

SERIES PREMIERE, 10pm, Showtime
House of Lies
Truly funny (but too-often dramatic) Don Cheadle jumps into a more comedic series to stars as Marty, a high-rolling and ridiculous, yet effective, management consultant who both celebrates and exploits members of the 1 percent. Add in Kristen Bell and tons of timely, relevant riffs on the current financial crisis and it appears that Showtime's recent winning streak will continue.

SEASON 2 PREMIERE, 9pm, Showtime
Shameless
Tonight William H. Macy's drunken family man returns to TV with his entire ill-behaved brood. In the Season 2 premiere, Frank uses Liam to help clear up a gambling debt, plus Fiona gets a lucrative job slinging shots down at a local dive, and Ian decides to take over the Kash 'N Grab. These people are really something.


PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
America's Funniest Home Videos, 7 p.m., ABC
Dateline NBC, 7 p.m., NBC
60 Minutes, 7 p.m., CBS
Mob Wives, 8 p.m., VH1
Oprah's Next Chapter, 8 p.m., OWN
The Simpsons, 8 p.m., Fox
The Cleveland Show, 8:30 p.m., Fox
Baseball Wives, 9 p.m., VH1
Desperate Housewives, 9 p.m., ABC
Family Guy, 9 p.m., Fox
Hoarding: Buried Alive, 9 p.m., TLC
Leverage, 9 p.m., TNT
Nightmare Next Door, 9 p.m., Investigation Discovery
The Real Housewives of Atlanta, 9 p.m., Bravo
American Dad!, 9:30 p.m., Fox
All-American Muslim, 10 p.m., TLC
Angry Boys, 10 p.m., HBO
Chef Roblé & Co., 10 p.m., Bravo
CSI: Miami, 10 p.m., CBS
Hell on Wheels, 10 p.m., AMC
Kourtney and Kim Take New York, 10 p.m., E!
Pan Am, 10 p.m., ABC
Tom Papa: Live in New York, ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 10 p.m., Comedy Central
Californication, SEASON 5 PREMIERE, 10:35 p.m., Showtime
Robot Chicken, 11:30 p.m., Cartoon Network



What are you watching this weekend?

Comments (44)
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pan am!!
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SNL,The SImpsons,Cleveland Show,Family Guy,American Dad,Robot Chicken
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Pan Am, OUAT, House of lies, A gifted man, The firm (?).
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I say watch The Firm just finished watching it and it is a good show... really good...
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sherlock !!!!!!!!!
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Nikita, Supernatural, The Good Wife, House if Lies, NBA, NFL,etc
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SNL and Desperate Housewives.
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Supernatural, Chuck, and Todd Margaret for Friday.



Once, The Firm maybe (just put the book back in my bag), Shameless, House of Lies (maybe) Sunday



Sherlock and a Merlin marathon is afoot.

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Friday

Wizards of Waverly Place "Series Finale"

Sunday

Once Upon A Time, The Simpsons, The Cleveland Show, Family Guy & American Dad!
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Is Downton Abbey an unexpected hit, that's probably how most of you guys picture the English posh upper class people with servants right? Just like we think most of y'all are gun owning hicks;-) Yay Californication and Todd Margaret.
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Californication. :)
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Grimm and Once Upon A Time!! I may watch wizards of waverly place becuase I grew up watching it and I want to see how it ends!
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Nikita, Once Upon a Time, American Dad, Desperate Housewives and Shameless
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Supernatural, Infested

Once Upon A Time, The Firm, have to check out shameless, The Cleveland Show, Desperate Housewives, Angry Boys, Robot Chicken
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Ok, I actually have to agree with you Price about Wizards. I have watched it every now and then when I am hanging out with my friend's daughter. The show is genuinely funny, and Selena Gomez gives great delivery. But I won't be watching that. Life and Times of Tim, Baby! And Todd, too.
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Also, is Graham really a goner? Tune in on Sunday to find out!
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----------------SPN--------------------
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WoW back to routine :D Supernatural, CSi Miami, nikita, Chuck and maybe Once upon a time
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Supernatural, Hell on Wheels, Pan Am, Shameless, and House of Lies.



I've watched the last four seasons of Californication, but I think I'm finally going to drop it this year. It's definitely the worst cable series I watch that's been on for more than one season and I have no interest in seeing Hank hang out with some rappers for 12 episodes.



I'm thinking about catching up on Portlandia, but I definitely won't be up to date by tonight.
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Yeah 'Hell on Wheels' has been pretty, pretty good. I was undecided after the pilot, but things have gotten bad-ass in fact.// And who can forget about everyones favorite raunch-festival Shameless?
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Sherlock is available in U S, not such a pity after all. Yeah need some new shows to start up soon but Ill be watching Basketball all weekend, NFL tomorrow and sunday. Prolly watch simpson, family guy, californication, pan am, can't wait for fringe next week. TVD last night was great!
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Supernatural on Friday! Once upon a Time and Shameless on Sunday. Already watched House of Lies premier.
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Portlandia, Wizards of Waverly Place, Sherlock
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leverage, sherlock, once upon a time. What a sad sad weekend. Can't wait for more shows to start up again :]
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Chuck, Supernatural and Family Guy
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Chuck, Nikita, and the Late Late Show tonight.

Nothing on Saturday.

Once Upon a Time, Leverage, and Hell on Wheels on Sunday. I'll also try out House of Lies and The Firm.
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Fri: Supernatural, Chuck, Merlin, Todd Margaret, Portlandia and Life & Times of Tim.

Sat: Graham Norton & SNL.

Sun: AFV, Once Upon a Time, Absolutely Fabulous, Fox Animation, Hoarding and Hell on Wheels.
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Friday: Chuck, Supernatural.

Sunday: One Upon A Time.
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I love weekend viewing. Supernatural, Chuck, Once Upon a Time, House of Lies, Shameless, Hell on Wheels and Pan Am. Maybe The Firm.
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Friday: A Gifted Man, CSI: NY, Blue Bloods, Merlin, Chuck... Saturday: reruns... Sunday: Leverage, Pan Am, maybe The Firm...
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Friday: Qi, Graham Norton (should be a good one - Gerard Butler, Karen Gillan & Martin Freeman), part 3 of Public Enemies, Supernatural, Chuck and Nikita - maybe Fallon and Letterman for the guests.

Saturday: BDO World Darts highlights, FA Cup highlights, Celebrity Juice (fucking hilarious).

Sunday: AWESOME... Once Upon A Time, House Of Lies (again), The Firm, Californication (again), Pan Am, Robot Chicken, Shameless (again), Family Guy, American Dad, Cleveland Show and more Darts highlights.
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so obviously there is no way for you guys in the states to watch Sherlock on the BBC...what a pity!
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PBS will air it in May, I think
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I wish we could watch the new season of Sherlock, now. Hopefully, it'll make its way to the States soon.
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Friday - Supernatural

Saturday - Get A Life

Sunday - Leverage, Hell On Wheels & The Firm
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Blue Bloods, A Gifted Man, Chuck, Once Upon a Time, The Firm, Leverage, Californication
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Friday: Supernatural, Blue Bloods



Sunday: Once Upon a Time, Leverage, Pan Am.



(I wish I hadn't seen the second season of Downton Abbey already, just a month ago, I love it so much, I wish I could undo it and have the whole first-time viewing experience again!)
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also for the record, Downton Abbey actually ISN'T from BBC, it's ITV. I originally thought it was BBC too. Merlin is a BBC show though.
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Friday: Chuck, Supernatural, Flying Wild Alaska, X-Men anime, Kristen Bell on Letterman, and Laura Prepon on Craig Ferguson



Saturday: maybe My Cat From Hell, I love Kelly Clarkson but I won't be watching SNL.. even if Charles Barkley is from my hometown



Sunday: Once Upon a Time, Desperate Housewives, Shameless, Pan Am, and House of Lies



I'd watch Merlin and Downton Abbey... but I've already seen them so..
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Friday: Chuck, Nikita.

Saturday: Nothing.

Sunday: Once Upon a Time, The Good Wife, Pan Am, Shameless, House of Lies, Californication.

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Chuck, Nikita, Once Upon a Time, Shameless, House of Lies, Californication, Hell on Wheels
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Portlandia. Todd Margaret. SNL. Once Upon A Time. Family Guy. And I'll give The Firm a shot, mostly because I love a law drama and I'm a Grisham fan.
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Friday: CSI: NY, Blue Bloods, Nikita, Chuck and Merlin



Sunday: Once Upon a Time and Leverage.
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