Aw, too bad it's the weekend just kidding. Hey look what's on!
What to watch on Friday, January 27...
SERIES FINALE, 8pm & 9pm, NBC
After many more years than fans expected, Chuck finally calls it quits tonight with a double-shot farewell. In the first hour Sarah decides to keep a secret from Chuck in order to pull off a mission, and in the actual finale episode Chuck must revisit his past in order to defeat Nicholas Quinn once and for all. (Related: Why not check out Michael Robertson's (a.k.a. Arch_Angel88) wish list for the big send-off?)
In "Forced Perspective," Peter attempts to track down a girl with mysterious clairvoyant powers while Olivia finds herself preoccupied by a warning from the Observers. But that's Olivia for you. (I think?)
SEASON 2 PREMIERE, 10pm, Starz
Tonight begins the second(-ish) season of Spartacus and marks the arrival of Liam McIntyre, who takes over for the maddeningly, tragically departed Andy Whitfield as the title character. Now that Spartacus is the leader of the freed slaves, he must adjust to the role despite the ominous arrival of Claudius Glaber in Capua. Expect blood, nudity and incredibly filthy yet attractive people wearing belts for clothing. Yes!
Great Performances: Tony Bennett
All right, fine. On the surface this doesn't seem as much of a Must Watch as most other things, but still: Tony Bennett singing duets with Amy Winehouse, Lady Gaga, Aretha Franklin, Michael Bublé, and Willie Nelson sounds pretty good to me! I don't know.
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
Kitchen Nightmares, 8 p.m., Fox
Shark Tank, 8 p.m., ABC
Star Wars: The Clone Wars, 8 p.m., Cartoon Network
America's Most Wanted, 9 p.m., Lifetime
Gold Rush, 9 p.m., Discovery
Primetime: What Would You Do?, 9 p.m., ABC
The John Mulaney Stand-Up Playlist, ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 9 p.m., Comedy Central
The Life and Times of Tim, 9 p.m., HBO
Tyler Perry's House of Payne, 9 p.m., TBS
On Freddie Roach, 9:30 p.m., HBO
20/20, 10 p.m., ABC
Bering Sea Gold, SERIES PREMIERE, 10 p.m., Discovery
Confessions: Animal Hoarding, 10 p.m., Animal Planet
Dateline NBC, 10 p.m., NBC
Deadly Women, SEASON FINALE, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Dr. G: Medical Examiner, 10 p.m., Discovery Fit & Health
Four Weddings, 10 p.m., TLC
Merlin, 10 p.m., Syfy
Portlandia, 10 p.m., IFC
Real Time with Bill Maher, 10 p.m., HBO
The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret, 10:30 p.m., IFC
Marvel Anime: Blade, 11 p.m., G4
What to watch on Saturday, January 28...
ORIGINAL MOVIE, 8pm, Lifetime
The Pregnancy Project
This ripped-from-the-headlines movie follows a high school student (Spy Kids' Alexa Vega) who pretends to be pregnant in order to see how differently pregnant teens are treated by society. (Will she get tons of reality show offers?)
Austin City Limits: Florence + The Machine & Lykke Li
If you're into it, two of rock's best ladies will be bringing their finest wares to your living room when Florence shouts herself into your heart and Lykke Li calms it right back down. Austin City Limits is such a great show, in my opinion.
ORIGINAL MOVIE, 9pm, Syfy
This Syfy Original is about about a volcano that forms under Florida after some oil-drilling gone wrong. It stars Brad Dourif and Rachel Hunter and its eco-awareness message will be as talked-about as An Inconvenient Truth.
ORIGINAL MOVIE, 9pm, HBO
All you old-school sports enthusiasts might enjoy this HBO documentary about the life and career of former New York Jets quarterback "Broadway Joe" Namath. I'm not saying ALL old-school sports enthusiasts will like it. Maybe they won't. It's a free country for old-school sports enthusiasts!
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
My Cat From Hell, 8 p.m., Animal Planet
Figure Skating: U.S. Championships, 9 p.m., NBC
The Fades, 9 p.m., BBC America
Suze Orman Show, 9 p.m., CNBC
Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry?, 9 p.m., Investigation Discovery
An Idiot Abroad: The Bucket List, 10 p.m., Science
48 Hours Mystery, 10 p.m., CBS
John Mulaney: New in Town, ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 10 p.m., Comedy Central
Graham Norton Show, 10 p.m., BBC America
Would You Rather? With Graham Norton, 11 p.m., BBC America
What to watch on Sunday, January 29...
Pro Bowl: From Honolulu
Have you heard of football? It's a thing that's pretty popular, and next Sunday is what's considered the "World Series of Football," the Super Bowl. So consider this a bit of an hors d'oeuvre: an AFC vs. NFC all-star game! People used to not care about this thing, so that's why it's BEFORE the Super Bowl this year. Fun fact?
SERIES PREMIERE, 9pm, HBO
From the potentially insane genius behind Deadwood and John From Cincinnati comes this horse-racing drama starring Dustin Hoffman as a man who gets out of jail and looks to regain his former horse track glory. Whether or not you enjoy the subject matter, this pilot was directed by Michael Mann, so you can bet it's at least a very handsome piece of entertainment. Maybe it's even good? Probably need to watch it to find out.
Once Upon a Time
Sidney and Emma team up to help investigate the full extent of Regina's corruption in an attempt to bring her down once and for all. Meanwhile, in fairytale land, King Leopold gets to make three wishes and he may or may not use them wisely. Phrasing wishes correctly really could be an entire college course, you know?
Hurry, all of the naked people be sexin'! You guys, this family is simply shameless. Anyway, tonight Fiona deals with the repercussions of having tons of sex with Craig (i.e., his irate wife). Meanwhile Debbie gets a rash from too much stress and Ian continues his efforts to get into West Point.
The Good Wife
Tonight Alicia must divulge details of her relationship with Will when Wendy Scott-Carr calls her before the grand jury. In other rivalry news, Eli squares off against Stacie Hall in a ROYAL RUMBLE for the ages. (Just kidding. I think I'm just excited about the WWE Royal Rumble, which is also today.)
ORIGINAL MOVIE, 9pm, ABC
A Smile as Big as the Moon
Cynics beware: This thing looks heartwarming. A Smile as Big as the Moon is a fact-based drama about a high school football coach and special-ed teacher who must fight various elements of society in order to take their students to Space Camp. Dare y'all not to cry!
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
60 Minutes, 7 p.m., CBS
America's Funniest Home Videos, 7 p.m., ABC
The Cleveland Show, 7:30 p.m., Fox
Hayley: World's Oldest Teenager, ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 8 p.m., TLC
Mob Wives, 8 p.m., VH1
The Simpsons, 8 p.m., Fox
Undercover Boss, 8 p.m., CBS
Napoleon Dynamite, 8:30 p.m., Fox
Downton Abbey, 9 p.m., PBS
Family Guy, 9 p.m., Fox
Hoarding: Buried Alive, 9 p.m., TLC
Nightmare Next Door, 9 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Rachael vs. Guy: Celebrity Cook-Off, 9 p.m., Food Network
Survivor: One World, PREVIEW SPECIAL, 9 p.m., TV Guide Channel
The Real Housewives of Atlanta, 9 p.m., Bravo
American Dad!, 9:30 p.m., Fox
CSI: Miami, 10 p.m., CBS
Extreme Couponing: Midnight Madness, ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 10 p.m., TLC
Finding Bigfoot, 10 p.m., Animal Planet
House of Lies, 10 p.m., Showtime
Kourtney and Kim Take New York, 10 p.m., E!
Californication, 10:30 p.m., Showtime
Baseball Wives, 12 a.m., VH1
Mary Shelley's Frankenhole, 12:15 a.m., Cartoon Network
What are you watching this weekend?