So we meet again, Friday. No matter how long the week has been, I'm always torn by the time I get to Friday. On the one hand, I want the weekend to last forever. On the other, I want Breaking Bad to arrive faster. It's a sick, sad world, everybody! Here's what you have to look forward to this weekend:
What to watch on Friday, July 20...
SEASON PREMIERE, 9 pm, Biography
First there was Mob Wives, then Mob Wives Chicago, then Big Ang. Now? There's this. But rather than exploiting the current wives of Mobsters statewide, Biography seeks to explain the true life stories of the mafia members, themselves—or the ones who got caught, anyway. Tonight, the series exposes Frank Calabrese Jr., who nearly brought down his father's entire Chicago-based crime syndicate.
SEASON PREMIERE, 10pm, PBS
Homeland: Immigration in America
Have you ever wondered what it really takes to become an American citizen? Some of the stories are even more dramatic than you may have thought. PBS created this series to confront the controversial topic of immigration head-on. Who does it really affect? And why do so many people fear it? PBS knows and you can, too!
MOVED TO FRIDAYS, 10pm, Syfy
Everybody's favorite (everybody's only?) Succubus sweetheart has made the move from Monday to Friday nights, which means tonight is your second helping of Lost Girl for the week. Rejoice, or get Fae'd! I don't really know what that means, but I do know that tonight's episode will lead Bo to make a deal with the Ash—leader of the light Fae—in order to join forces against the something-very-evil that's been lurking all season. Has Bo finally chosen a side for good?
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
Tyler Perry's House of Payne, 8 p.m., TBS
WWE Friday Night Smackdown!, 8pm, Syfy
My Babysitter's a Vampire, 8:30 p.m., Disney
20/20, 9 p.m., ABC
Dateline NBC, 9 p.m., NBC
America's Most Wanted, 9pm, Lifetime
Chasing UFOs, 9 p.m., NatGeo
Flying Wild Alaska, 9 p.m., Discovery
Ghost Adventures, 9 p.m., Travel
Hollywood Heights, 9pm, Nickelodeon
Homecoming: The Kansas Symphony Presents Joyce DiDonato, SPECIAL, 9 p.m., PBS
House Hunters World Tour, 9 p.m., HGTV
Motives & Murders, 9 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Say Yes to the Dress, 9pm, TLC
Tyler Perry's For Better or Worse, 9 p.m., TBS
Whale Wars, 9 p.m., Animal Planet
Gravity Falls, 9:30 p.m., Disney
House Hunters International, 9:30 p.m., HGTV
3 Days to Open with Bobby Flay, 10 p.m., Food
Comedy Bang! Bang!, 10 p.m., IFC
Evil, I, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Fashion Police, 10 p.m., E!
Flying Wild Alaska, SEASON FINALE, 10 p.m., Discovery
Gangsters: America's Most Evil, SEASON PREMIERE, 10 p.m., Biography
House Hunters, 10 p.m., HGTV
Louisiana Lockdown, SEASON FINALE, 10 p.m., Animal Planet
Police Women: The Calls You Never Saw, 10 p.m., OWN
Randy to the Rescue, 10 p.m., TLC
The Dead Files, 10 p.m., Travel
Bunk, 10:30 p.m., IFC
Kyra Sedgwick, Bob Odenkirk, and A$AP Rocky performs on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:37 a.m., NBC
Alec Baldwin on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35 p.m., CBS
Ben Stiller on Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:34 p.m., NBC
What to watch on Saturday, July 21...
SPECIAL, 8pm, NBC
30 Greatest NBC Olympic Moments
Oh, hey, in case you didn't realize: THE OLYMPICS ARE COMING. And NBC is doing everything it can to remind you of that. Are we ready for this? Well then let's get ready by tuning into this NBC special highlighting the most memorable, adrenaline-pumping, heartwarming moments that the Olympics has had to offer since NBC has exclusive rights to air the summer games—so, since 1988.
SEASON PREMIERE, 10pm, Investigation Discovery
Happily Never After
Should we just call this Horror Saturday? Aside from sports, horror shows are pretty much the only other thing on television today. Sports and horror shows (also known as: my TV nightmare). Anyway, in tonight's premiere of Happily Never After, "The Bride Wore Blood," a bride is viciously stabbed shortly after walking down the isle—and all eyes are on the groom. Remind me not to talk about this show with my engaged friends.
SPECIAL, 10pm, Lifetime
Beyond the Headlines: Officer and a Murderer
This is essentially a double-hitter if you watch Lifetime's An Officer and a Murderer, which airs directly beforehand at 8pm. The movie is based on a true story about a small-town detective who investigates an Air Force Officer suspected of murder, but Beyond the Headlines takes it one step further to reveal the essential REAL facts that made or broke case. It's like lessons about your entertainment after your entertainment!
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
2012 British Open Golf Championship, THIRD ROUND, 7 p.m., ESPN
My Cat From Hell, 8 p.m., Animal Planet
NYC 22, 8 p.m., CBS
Princess,8 p.m., CNBC
SpongeBob SquarePants, 8 p.m., Nickelodeon
The Help, SATURDAY NIGHT MOVIE PICK, 8 p.m., Showtime
Welcome to Sweetie Pie's: An Extra Slice, 8 p.m., OWN
Bad Dog!, 9 p.m., Animal Planet
Meg's Great Rooms, 9 p.m., HGTV
Oddities: San Francisco, 9 p.m., Science
The Suze Orman Show, 9 p.m., CNBC
You Gotta See This!, 9 p.m., Nickelodeon
The High Low Project, 9:30 p.m., HGTV
Are You Normal, America?, 10 p.m., OWN
Dark Matters: Twisted but True, 10 p.m., Science
Rove LA, SEASON PREMIERE, 10 p.m., TV Guide Network
Tanked: Unfiltered, 10 p.m., Animal Planet
Wicked Attraction, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery
What to watch on Sunday, July 22...
SEASON FINALE, 8pm, ABC
It all comes down to this. Emily, we're counting on you. If you do NOT pick the right guy, any remaining flicker of faith that I may have ever had in this show will be formally squandered. Not that I ever really believed in this show, but Emily has just tried so gosh-darned hard! I'm rooting for her. And Jef. No, Arie. No, Jef... ahhhh. Screw it, I don't got no stake in this!
Teen Choice 2012
Every year it happens. And tonight it's happening again. Kevin McHale is slated to host and teen idols like Justin Bieber, Carly Rae Jepsen, Flo Rida, and No Doubt will take the stage to perform. The only thing missing, in my opinion, is Gak.
The skies are—oh, you all heard? I feel like Chicken Little's version of the sky-falling phenomenon was very very different from this one, by the way. In tonight's episode, "Molon Labe," Tom snags another hostage, Ben gets betrayed by a trustworthy source, Matt gets a job offer from Weaver (awe), and a grip of the 2nd Mass members get trapped in a
closet basement. Go team human!
Things are starting to get a little weird on Weeds, but let's be honest, when aren't they? In "Only Judy Can Judge," Nancy decides to throw a spontaneous dinner festival, sans the festival part. I'm sure it plays out sort of like a festival in her head, though. All suspicious eyes are on Shane when he invites Angela to the intimate family gathering. Meanwhile, Silas befriends a local pot grower—which will undoubtedly lead to a beautiful partnership ...that with inevitably explode... horribly. But hey, do what you gotta do, Silas! And finally, Jill and Andy agree to watch Stevie for a day. Because what could possibly go wrong?
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
Big Brother, 8 p.m., CBS
Chopped, 8 p.m., Food
Dateline NBC, 8 p.m., NBC
Jerseylicious, 8 p.m., Style
Leverage, 8 p.m., TNT
Mob Wives Chicago, 8 p.m., VH1
Oprah's Next Chapter, Salute to Superstar Olympians, 8 p.m., OWN
Sunday Best, 8 p.m., BET
Tour de France, STAGE 20, 8 p.m., NBC Sports
Queen & Country, 8 p.m., PBS
Big Ang, 9 p.m., VH1
Drop Dead Diva, 9 p.m., Lifetime
Food Network Star, SEASON FINALE, 9 p.m., Food Network
Hoarding: Buried Alive, 9 p.m., TLC
Ice Road Truckers, 9 p.m., History
Keeping Up with the Kardashians, 9 p.m., E!
Masterpiece Mystery!, 9 p.m., PBS
River Monsters: Unhooked, 9 p.m., Discovery
The Glades, 9pm, A&E;
True Blood, 9pm, HBO
Army Wives, 10 p.m., Lifetime
Breaking Bad, 10pm, AMC
Bridezillas, 10 p.m., WE
Culture Shock, 10 p.m., OWN
I Survived..., 10 p.m., Biography
Longmire, 10 p.m., A&E;
Mrs. Eastwood & Company, 10 p.m., E!
Political Animals, 10 p.m., USA
Strange Sex, SEASON 3 PREMIERE, 10 p.m., TLC
Taboo, 10 p.m., NatGeo
The Great Escape, 10 p.m., TNT
The Newsroom, 10 p.m., HBO
The Real Housewives of New Jersey, 10 p.m., Bravo
Unique Eats, 10 p.m., Cooking
Weeds, 10 p.m., Showtime
Episodes, 10:30 p.m., Showtime
Portlandia: The Brunch Special, 11 p.m., IFC
Black Dynamite, 11:30 p.m., Adult Swim
Aqua Something You Know Whatever, 12 a.m., Adult Swim
Metalocalypse!, 12:15 a.m., Adult Swim
What are you watching this weekend?