What to watch on Friday, March 15...
8pm, The CW
Amanda takes Alex hostage and offers to trade her for Ari, as “The Life We’ve Chosen” is brought to you by the letter “A” and the number “3.” Nikita has a rescue plan ready to go, but Alex and a fellow prisoner have concocted a breakout plot of their own that could botch everything.
The Wizards Return: Alex vs. Alex
Determined to wring every last drop of marketability from the Wizards of Waverly Place franchise, Disney serves up an hour-long special in which Selena Gomez’s mischief-making magician accidentally splits into good and evil incarnations of herself. While Good Alex contemplates her place in a long literary tradition of exploring the inherent moral duality of man, Evil Alex dons a bikini and makes a spring break movie with James Franco.
9pm, The CW
Having somehow still not snapped right off The CW’s schedule, everyone’s favorite show about a show-within-a-show that’s more popular than the show it’s within asks us to “Get With the Program.” Jeff and Skye meet a Cult fan deprogrammer who, based on the ratings in our universe, is phenomenally successful at his job.
Grimm and the Holo-grimms go after a band of Wesen bank robbers, whose use of their true nature as disguises violates their community’s sacred honor code. Elsewhere in “Natural Born Wesen,” Juliette is disturbed by the gradual return of her memories.
Both of the Pines siblings pursue poolside romance in “The Deep End.” While Mabel makes the acquaintance of a cute merman stranded in the pool, Dipper volunteers to work there in order to cozy up to lifeguard Wendy. And maybe Soos will get into the act after meeting a very special corn dog at the concessions bar?
Spartacus: War of the Damned
Pinned down by harsh weather and encroaching legions in “Mors Indecepta,” Spartacus must summon all his resources to counterattack Crassus before it’s too late. Behind Roman lines, a desperate Kore seeks an alliance, while Crassus and Tiberius reawaken their filial bond to the strains of the first-century-B.C. equivalent of “Cat’s In the Cradle.”
SEASON 1 FINALE, 10pm, Cinemax
Lucas arrives at a turning point as “A Mixture of Madness” ends Banshee's first season, and his choice could have momentous ramifications for Carrie and her family, Sugar, Job, and the town’s whole police force. Meanwhile, Nola receives a special delivery at Alex’s which leads her to question her future, and Rebecca learns what the synopsis calls “a powerful lesson about telecommunications.” Is this code for embarrassing drunk texts? I’m going to say it’s code for embarrassing drunk texts.
– Craig Ferguson, Vera Farmiga, and Harper Simon on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:35pm, NBC
– Seth Meyers, Demetri Martin, and Dropkick Murphys on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35pm, CBS
– Justin Timberlake and Hayden Panettiere on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:37am, NBC
– Megan Mullally on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37am, CBS
What to watch on Saturday, March 16...
SERIES FINALE, 10am, Cartoon Network
Green Lantern: The Animated Series
A final battle between the Lanterns and Aya looms, and the fate of all organic life in the universe is on the line. So you can’t accuse “Dark Matter” of not bringing proper stakes to its climactic episode, is my point here. Kilowog is firing up his bossest “get psyched” mix CD.
SERIES FINALE, 10:30am, Cartoon Network
Young Justice: Invasion
The Young Justice team must defend Earth against an alien invasion, as “Endgame” delivers precisely what the subtitle of the show’s final season promised. Of course, if the Lantern Corps drops the ball on that whole “saving all organic life” meshugas, the whole battle will be moot, and then wouldn’t both sides feel pretty silly? Or they would if they weren’t, y’know, obliterated.
8pm, Animal Planet
Saturday night is becoming even more fallow than usual for new programming, so let’s play some What to Watch Tonight Roulette over the next few weeks and see what pops up, shall we? Here’s an episode call “Fluff and Feathers.” Nobody seems to have an episode synopsis, but honestly, do you need one? Fluff! Feathers! What more could you ask from an hour of cable television?
What to watch on Sunday, March 17...
Jesus is born in “Hope,” the third installment of five in this ratings hit of a miniseries. While I’m not usually one for bold predictions, I think this show may have found its breakout character.
The Cleveland Show
The Browns move to sunny Los Angeles, perhaps solely to let their show bust out the title “California Dreamin’ (All the Cleves Are Brown).” Once in the West, Cleveland chases his dream of becoming a scout for Major League Baseball—and big-leaguers Jimmy Rollins, Matt Kemp, David Ortiz, Joey Votto, and Andre Ethier just might stop by to “go to bat” for him! Not if he makes that pun when he asks them, though. That’s unconscionable.
The Good Wife
At a coroner’s inquest, Alicia and Will must navigate a rule that allows them only three questions per witness—and only two if one of them uses an interrobang, because there’s simply no need for that much excitement at the morgue. Elsewhere in “Invitation to an Inquest,” Eli maneuvers against Jordan, and Cary’s dad arrives with business for Lockhart Gardner.
Emily’s cover may be blown when her estranged foster brother touches down in the Hamptons in “Illumination.” Sadly, until he actually wrongs her somehow, she’s powerless to act against him, since that would technically be pre-venge and fly in the face of her entire M.O. On the Grayson front, Jack sees through Victoria and Conrad’s scheme to start a charitable foundation in Amanda’s memory.
SEASON 2 FINALE, 9pm, HBO
“Together” closes the sophomore season with Hannah under the gun to complete her book in a single day, lest her publisher sue her. Meanwhile, Ray makes a career decision in an effort to impress Shoshanna, and Marnie misreads Charlie, because Marnie.
The Walking Dead
As the Governor hunts down a fleeing dissenter, a saboteur within Woodbury bedevils his future plans in “Prey.” At the rate everyone is beginning to turn on the Governor, I hope we’re building toward a finale in which he tries to block out the sun and then Baby Judith shoots him.
“Frank the Plumber” finds Frank accidentally stumbling into the gay rights movement, where he hobnobs with an influential activist (guest-star Bradley Whitford). Fiona’s own networking hits a rockier road when she has trouble adapting to the office culture at her new job.
The Client List
A pair of detectives investigating Kyle could inadvertently place Riley’s secret life in jeopardy in “Who’s Cheatin’ Who.” As if that won’t keeping her busy enough, she also accompanies Evan on a date, meets Georgia’s new beau, and welcomes new recruits to the spa, so ain’t nobody can say Jennifer Love Hewitt isn’t earning her paycheck this week.
And now, let’s all vote to crown the What to Watch Tonight Episode Title of the Week!