Baby, it's warm outside! But guess what, baby, it's pretty darn warm INSIDE also, and that's because your TV's throwing off some white-hot heat of watchability! Decent things are on, is what I'm saying. Baby, lookit:
What to watch on Friday, June 1...
SERIES FINALE, 8pm, NBC
Best Friends Forever
It's goodbye forever to Best Friends Forever, as NBC closes out another of its half-hearted midseason launches with a Friday night two-fer. In the first episode "Hey Nonny Nonny," Jessica gets jealous when Lennon spends too much time with an old friend. And in the finale episode "Fatal Blow Out," the gals head to Atlantic City for a convention and Jessica ends up questioning her feelings for Rav. (Maybe don't get too emotionally invested in their relationship, dear viewer.)
In "Borderline," Kate and Ben haul their briefs to Lake Tahoe for a bit of mediation but end up getting involved in an unsolved murder! Meanwhile, Justin needs Lauren's help on a case that could very well damage his political future. Who's throwin' acid on your political future, Justin?
SEASON 1 FINALE, 10pm, Starz
All the plotlines boil over in "Time and Tide," Magic City's first season finale. Tune in tonight to find out what happens when: Klein gets his hands on Judi Silver; Lily and Stevie's affair gets dangerous; and Ike finds himself at a crossroads. You'll get through it, Ike. We ALL have to deal with proverbial season finales sometimes.
SEASON 15 FINALE, 9pm, FX
The Ultimate Fighter Live
Your favorite live Friday night MMA reality show closes out another season tonight when it crowns its Season 15 champion following a climactic bout in Las Vegas. Who will win? Who will bleed a lot? Both questions will be answered!
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
The National History Bee, ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 8 p.m., History
Whale Wars, 8 p.m., Animal Planet
America's Most Wanted, 9 p.m., Lifetime
Dateline NBC, 9 p.m., NBC
Phineas and Ferb, 9 p.m., Disney
Primetime: What Would You Do?, 9 p.m., ABC
The Ricky Gervais Show, 9 p.m., HBO
Tyler Perry's House of Payne, 9 p.m., TBS
20/20, 10 p.m., ABC
Coming Home, 10 p.m., Lifetime
Common Law, 10 p.m., USA
Embarrassing Bodies, 10 p.m., Discovery Fit & Health
Insane or Inspired?, 10 p.m., Syfy
Storytellers: Jason Mraz, 11 p.m., VH1
The Half Hour: Theo Von & Maronzio Vance, 11 p.m., Comedy Central
Jeff Garlin & Sonya Walger on Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS
What to watch on Saturday, June 2...
ORIGINAL MOVIE, 8pm, Lifetime
It could happen to anyone: A mentally ill married woman must escape from the clutches of an imaginary friend that wants nothing less than to destroy HER MARRIAGE. Ladies, be careful out there.
ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 8pm, Showtime
Bill Bellamy: Crazy Sexy Dirty
The former MTV V.J. brings his comedy stylings to Showtime tonight with Crazy Sexy Dirty, a stand-up set that promises to be at least one of those things! Maybe all three even!
SEASON 3 PREMIERE, 9pm, Biography
Celebrity Ghost Stories
It's a free country, so you're certainly free NOT to watch this show about celebrities recounting their run-ins with spectral phenomena. But what if I told you one of tonight's celebrities was no less than GIANCARLO "Gus Fring" ESPOSITO? Exactly.
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
City Beneath the Waves: Pavlopetri, ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 8 p.m., Discovery
How to Be a Gentleman, 8:30 p.m., CBS
Oddities, 9 p.m., Science
Suze Orman Show, 9 p.m., CNBC
Tanked, 9 p.m., Animal Planet
48 Hours Mystery, 10 p.m., CBS
Dog the Bounty Hunter, 10 p.m., A&E;
Serial Killer Earth, 10 p.m., H2
Flipped Off, 11 p.m., A&E;
The Graham Norton Show, 11 p.m., BBC America
The Thick of It, 12 a.m., BBC America
Katy Brand's Big Ass Show, 12:40 a.m., BBC America
What to watch on Sunday, June 3...
SEASON 4 PREMIERE, 9pm, Lifetime
Drop Dead Diva
It's hard out there for a former skinny jerk in the body of a chunky lady! (R.I.P. original chunky lady's soul.) In "Welcome Back," Jane and Owen's Italy trip is interrupted by an antsy Kim. Meanwhile, Stacy seeks out a relationship guru for some much-needed advice. Or something? BRB lemme call my aunt and get the low-down on this show.
SEASON 2 FINALE, 9pm, HBO
Game of Thrones
Oh man, this season. Remember what happened last week? I do: "Blackwater" was a great episode! Tonight "Valar Morghulis" closes out Season 2 with 70 minutes of bad times: Luwin has questionable advice for Theon while on the brink of war; Arya receives a gift of some kind from noted BAMF Jaqen; Jon Snow must survive some kind of test for Qhorin; Daenerys deals with the missing dragon situation; and Brienne puts together a vaudeville act with Jaime. (I think I'm joking on that last one, but who knows!)
ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 9pm, NBC
Miss USA Pageant
Tonight Donald Trump parades around his 51 favorite beauties live from Planet Hollywood Casino in Las Vegas. Up and coming television personalities Andy Cohen and Giuliana Rancic host. The Make-O-Matic Makeup Gun from The Simpsons co-hosts.
AWARDS SPECIAL, 9pm, MTV
MTV Movie Awards 2012
We'll FINALLY find out which of the past year's movies have been good or bad tonight when MTV viewers weigh in with their long-awaited opinions! Host Russell Brand will be joined by musical guest Fun. in awarding a metric ton of gold-plated popcorn to such movies as The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1, The Help, and Hunger Potter. (Just kidding that is not a movie, but hold up: I think I just had an idea for Harry Potter 9. Call me, J.K. Rowling, and HURRY.)
SEASON 3 PREMIERE, 9pm, A&E;
Tonight A&E; briefly retires its slate of sorrrrrta embarrassing reality shows for a double dose of legitimately decent scripted dramas! First up, The Glades returns for a third season and finds its main charmer dealing a group of overzealous UFO enthusiasts who involve themselves in a man's death. Meanwhile Callie tries to find a job. Ripped from the headlines!
SERIES PREMIERE, 10pm, A&E;
A&E; premieres their newest drama tonight in Longmire, a series about a crabby small-town sheriff who deals with colorful locals without the benefit of looking like Timothy Olyphant. But he DOES get to call Katee Sackhoff a deputy, so he's got that going for him. In tonight's premiere, the titular Wyoming sheriff attempts to run for re-election against an upstart while also trying to cope with his wife's death.
SEASON 2 PREMIERE, 11pm, MTV
Yay!! Our teen supernatural methadone has arrived in the form of Teen Wolf Season 2! Tonight's premiere involves [SPOILERS for those who haven't seen Season 1] the disappearance of Lydia from the hospital following her season-ending run-in with the alpha. The former alpha, because tonight the new alpha will be taking center stage. Plus towel scenes, I'm guessing. Welcome back, Teen Wolf!
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
60 Minutes, 7 p.m., CBS
Dateline NBC, 7 p.m., NBC
Adele Live in London, ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 8 p.m., NBC
Punk'd, 8 p.m., MTV
Secret Millionaire, SEASON 3 PREMIERE, 8 p.m., ABC
The Diamond Queen, ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 8 p.m., BBC America
American Ninja Warrior, 9 p.m., G4
Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition, SEASON 2 PREMIERE, 9 p.m., ABC
Food Network Star, 9 p.m., Food Network
MythBusters, 9 p.m., Discovery
Nurse Jackie, 9 p.m., Showtime
Oprah's Next Chapter: Neil Patrick Harris, 9 p.m., OWN
Sister Wives, 9 p.m., TLC
The Killing, 9 p.m., AMC
The Big C, 9:30 p.m., Showtime
Are You Normal, America?, SERIES PREMIERE, 10 p.m., OWN
Head Games, SERIES PREMIERE, 10 p.m., Discovery
Mad Men, 10 p.m., AMC
Real Housewives of New Jersey, 10 p.m., Bravo
The Borgias, 10 p.m., Showtime
The Client List, 10 p.m., Lifetime
Veep, 10 p.m., HBO
Girls, 10:30 p.m., HBO
The Pitch, 11 p.m., AMC
Loiter Squad, 11:30 p.m., Cartoon Network
The Eric Andre Show, 12:30 a.m., Cartoon Network
What are you watching this weekend?