What to Watch This Weekend: The Neighbors on Shark Tank, Rob Lowe as JFK, Homeland, and The Walking Dead

What to watch on Friday, November 8...

MasterChef Junior
One meal, two finalists, three courses that will determine which grade-school gourmand wins $100,000 and a place in Gordon Ramsay’s elite, space station-based, chef training academy.

8pm, The CW
The Carrie Diaries
Larissa returns to Manhattan and meets Samantha, triggering what scientists are predicting to be the most potent collision of fabulousness since recordkeeping began in 1886. Meanwhile in “Strings Attached,” Samantha seduces a ninja, Carrie and Sebastian wind up trapped in a classroom, Mouse helps Maggie with college applications, and hang on a minute, did I really write the words “Samantha seduces a ninja” back there? Well all right then.

8pm, Nickelodeon
The Legend of Korra
What wonders and dangers await Korra and Jinora now that they’ve crossed into the Spirit World? Will “A New Spiritual Age” bring the Avatar closer to her mystical compatriots—or alienate her further even as the Harmonic Convergence looms?

8:30pm, ABC
The Neighbors
Debbie, Jackie, and Larry plow clean through the timeslot barrier in “We Jumped the Shark (Tank),” presenting their handcrafted purse to Shark Tank investors Barbara Corcoran, Mark Cuban, Daymond John, and Kevin O’Leary. As a fellow Zabvronian, Robert Herjavec naturally had to recuse himself from appearing.

9pm, PBS
Great Performances
Backed by the New York Philharmonic, Neil Patrick Harris portrays Bobby in this production of Stephen Sondheim’s Company. Stephen Colbert, Patti LuPone, Martha Plimpton, and Jon Cryer are among the married friends who offer the birthday boy bachelor all the relationship wisdom he can handle.

9pm, NBC
“A Dish Best Served Cold” finds Nick and Hank investigating a string of grisly crimes tied to a longtime feud, though at least Nick is hale and hearty and in no way still zombified. Meanwhile, Monroe and Rosalee consider advancing their relationship.

10pm, Syfy
“William” inspires the title of this episode by being the hostage of the shady nogoodniks from the barn, and I’m betting he feels like he got the short end of that deal. If Audrey can spirit him to safety, she just may learn the villains’ true purpose and save the town.

10pm, Cinemax
Strike Back: Origins
An ex-SAS soldier is imprisoned following a botched attempt to assassinate Robert Mugabe, so Section 20 sends Porter to Zimbabwe to bust him loose… and kill him. But could the prisoner’s explanation of his actions sway Porter into calling an audible on the play?

10pm, IFC
Comedy Bang! Bang!
Rashida Jones takes center stage (center couch?), while additional guests Dave Foley, Horatio Sanz, and Jack McBrayer presumably create all manner of mischief on the sidelines.

– Terry Crews, Jerry Ferrara, and Kirk Fox on The Arsenio Hall Show, Syndicated, check local listings
– Mariska Hargitay, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX), and Gavin DeGraw on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:35pm, NBC
– Tom Brokaw, Rhys Darby and Black Joe Lewis on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35pm, CBS
– Natalie Portman, Taye Diggs, and Nate Bargatze on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:37am, NBC
– Mary Steenburgen and Becca Tobin on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37am, CBS


What to watch on Saturday, November 9...

11am, Nickelodeon
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Hoping to restore April’s father to normal, Donatello runs some mutagen experiments. Do they succeed? The episode title “Mutagen Man Unleashed” may offer a clue.

8pm, NBC
Miss Universe 2013
Mel B and Thomas Roberts host the 62nd annual pageant from Moscow, with performances by Panic! At The Disco, EMIN, and guest-judge Steven Tyler. And don’t worry, everyone—Donald Trump has personally vetted all the contestants to verify they were indeed born in this universe.

MOVIE PREMIERE, 8pm, Lifetime
A Country Christmas Story
Dolly Parton and Brian McKnight star in the tale of an aspiring country singer from Appalachia who reconnects with her musician dad while en route to a Dollywood-hosted singing competition.

Beast of the Bering Sea
The plot description above applies almost exactly to this film as well. Except instead of artistic success, the protagonists are seeking buried treasure. And instead of Dollywood, they’re headed to a mysterious undersea cavern. And instead of a paternal Brian McKnight, they encounter deadly aquatic vampires. But other than that, the similarities are uncanny.

9pm, Starz
Dancing on the Edge
The police suspect Louis in Jessie’s murder, and despite Stanley’s warnings, it may be too late for him to save himself. Meanwhile, Masterson plans to mold the magazine into the cornerstone of a media empire.

11pm & 11:15pm Fox
Axe Cop / High School USA!
Axe Cop and his old college chum, the eponymous “Super Axe” (Jordan Peele), must save the world from villainy together one last time. Then in “Choices,” Amber faces a dilly of a quandary.


What to watch on Sunday, November 10...

7pm, MTV
2013 MTV Europe Music Awards
Redfoo and Ariana Grande host the continental commemoration of the year in pop music. Slated performers include Miley Cyrus, Katy Perry, and The Killers.

MOVIE PREMIERE, 8pm, National Geographic
Killing Kennedy
Rob Lowe portrays the 35th US President in this adaptation of the tome by Bill O’Reilly and Martin Dugard. The story follows the lives of John F. Kennedy and Lee Harvey Oswald from their respective fateful decisions in 1959 through the infamous day in Dallas in 1963.

8pm, ABC
Once Upon a Time
Emma, Neal, and Hook try to get their hands on the goods Pan stores in his “Dark Hollow.” Back in Storybrooke, Mr. Gold and Regina dispatch Ariel to retrieve a crucial item for Belle, but dangerous interlopers have crashed the town with other ideas.

8:30pm, Fox
Bob’s Burgers
Bob earns some extra scratch cooking for a B-list frat house in “My Big Fat Greek Bob,” where the bros welcome him as one of their own and rope him into a prank war. When the Belcher kids learn that shenanigans are afoot, they’ll stop at nothing to join in.

9pm, AMC
The Walking Dead
Enemies assail the group from all directions in “Internment”—which, I feel compelled to point out, marks the fourth straight one-word-starting-with-I episode title. Coincidence, or officially a gimmick this season? What to Watch Tonight will continue to report details of this developing story as they become available.

9pm, Showtime
With Javadi under lock and key, Saul goes out on a limb to consolidate his gains in “Gerontion.” Meanwhile, Carrie and Quinn race to put the lid on a police investigation, Mira faces a marital turning point, and at least one of these plots makes everyone angry on the internet for the ensuing 36 hours.

9:30pm, CBS
The Good Wife
Alicia and Cary suspect Lockhart Gardner may be snooping via her computer’s webcam—and they would’ve gotten away with it, if it weren’t for her meddling kids. Elsewhere in “The Next Week,” Clarke Hayden (Nathan Lane) lends his financial wisdom to Florrick Agos, and Will winds up in over his head helping one of Alicia’s former clients.

10pm, Food Network
Iron Chef America
Kitchen Stadium upstarts Geoffrey Zakarian and Alex Guarnaschelli cross saucepans with reigning Thanksgiving Battle champs Bobby Flay and Michael Symon in the “Thanksgiving: Past and Present” challenge. On judging duty are Donatella Arpaia, Laurence Fishburne, and Gina Torres—and as co-stars on Hannibal, those latter two certainly know their way around fine exotic cuisine.

10pm, Showtime
Masters of Sex
Masters and Johnson cross the line separating observer from participant in “All Together Now,” though Virginia frets that the study is impairing Bill’s home life. Elsewhere, Libby resumes her fertility treatments while Ethan’s lingering feelings for Virginia complicate his relationship with Vivian.

10pm, Lifetime
Witches of East End
In “Potentia Noctis,” Frey unearths a shocking secret at Fair Haven and Ingrid flashes back to a past life, though in a daring narrative twist, that past life is as an anteater.

10pm, HBO
Eastbound & Down
Personal problems plague Kenny’s professional pursuits in “Chapter 28,” while Stevie is forced to put on a brave face in the wake of hardship. Later, Dustin and Cassie impart a lesson about the holidays to Kenny.

10:30pm, CBS
The Mentalist
Having acquired one last clue, Jane brings together all the remaining Red John suspects in one locale in “Fire and Brimstone,” which I think is mostly an excuse to slap Michael McKean and drop a chandelier on Martin Mull. [Note: This episode was delayed from last week due to football overruns, thus giving me the chance to make an entirely different Clue joke.]


And now, let’s all vote to crown the What to Watch Tonight Episode Title of the Week!

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