What to Watch This Weekend: The Olympic Games' Opening Ceremony, The Nerdist, and True Blood

THE WEEKEND COMETH! Somebody light the torch! No! Wrong torch!—And that's how I single-handedly ruined the Opening Ceremonies to the Olympic games tonight. I know this because I'm writing to you from the future. Just wait. You'll see. And because I'm writing from the future, I've already watched everything on TV this weekend, so I can tell you ALL about it, sans the spoilers. Let's hear it:

What to watch on Friday, July 27...

XXX Summer Olympics
Dun da dun! It's here. And it's not called the "XXX" games for NOTHIN'! Just messing with ya. It does stand for nothing. Just messing with ya again. It stands for thirty. Roman numerals, remember? And if somehow your mind found its way into the gutter throughout the course of reading this blurb, I don't blame you. There are so many directions we could take this, but I'll drive it back on course: Tonight Queen Elizabeth II, herself, will kick off the Opening Ceremony in London. And Sir Paul McCartney will perform, welcoming the world to his home turf. Let's hope it's a cool one to watch!

9pm, HGTV
You Live in What?
HGTV explores the wild and wacky habitats of humans. Yeah, you heard me: humans. Not everybody lives in a box-shaped house, you know. Some people live in missile silos and schoolhouses or barns and treehouses. It's true, and HGTV will prove it to you. So now when you think about your dreamhouse, what does it look like? (Mine's on the moon!)

10:30pm, IFC
Tonight's featured game is called "Insult the Injured." I'm not entirely sure how literal they're going to take that, but I am sure that the panelists will include Alex Borstein, Ethan T. Berlin and Jordan Klepper. If you don't have a party to attend tonight, I highly suggest you party with these guys.

Deadliest Catch, 8 p.m., Discovery
Tyler Perry's House of Payne, 8 p.m., TBS
WWE Friday Night Smackdown!, 8pm, Syfy
20/20, 9 p.m., ABC
Hollywood Heights, 9pm, Nickelodeon
Motives & Murders, 9 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Mobsters, 9 p.m., Biography
Say Yes to the Dress, 9pm, TLC
Tyler Perry's For Better or Worse, 9 p.m., TBS
3 Days to Open with Bobby Flay, 10 p.m., Food
Comedy Bang! Bang!, 10 p.m., IFC
Common Law, 10 p.m., USA
Evil, I, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Gangsters: America's Most Evil, 10 p.m., Biography
House Hunters, 10 p.m., HGTV
Homeland: Immigration in America, 10 p.m., PBS
Lost Girl, 10 p.m., Syfy
Police Women: The Lost Calls, 10 p.m., OWN
Bunk, 10:30 p.m., IFC

Edward Norton and Olivia Munn on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 1:38 a.m., NBC
Howard Stern and The Airborne Toxic Event on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35 p.m., CBS
Jeremy Renner and Betty White on Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 12:35 a.m., NBC

What to watch on Saturday, July 28...

XXX Summer Olympics
Enough with the Opening Ceremonies, amiright? The week kicks off with the men's and women's 400m individual medley in swimming, the men's team competition in gymnastics, and the women's teams USA vs. Australia in beach volleyball. Let the games begin! Literally.

COMIC-CON SPECIAL, 9 p.m., BBC America
The Nerdist
I just couldn't keep this one to myself. With all the hullabaloo that jammed up our server space while Comic-Con was happening, it got really, really overwhelming trying to keep up with it all, much less get a solid perspective on how the convention went, overall. Wouldn't it be nice to have the ultimate nerd-panel perspective on how it all went down now that the dust has cleared? I thought so. And that's what you'll get when The Nerdist discusses Comic-Con 2012 tonight.

My Cat From Hell, 8 p.m., Animal Planet
NYC 22, 8 p.m., CBS
Princess,8 p.m., CNBC
Bad Dog!, 9 p.m., Animal Planet
Meg's Great Rooms, 9 p.m., HGTV
The Suze Orman Show, 9 p.m., CNBC
You Gotta See This!, 9 p.m., Nickelodeon
Welcome to Sweetie Pie's: An Extra Slice, 9 p.m., OWN
Dark Matters: Twisted but True, 10 p.m., Science
Happily Never After, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Undercover Boss: Abroad, 10pm, TLC
Wicked Attraction, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery

What to watch on Sunday, July 29...

8pm, Food
Cupcake Wars
Normally this wouldn't be my first choice to feature, but tonight's episode is totally Angry Birds themed! I'm loving it already. The bakers will have to create thematic cupcakes to be served at the Angry Birds Space App kickoff party. Um, so you're telling me it's about Angry Birds AND Space?! Could a cupcake get any cooler?

9pm, HBO
True Blood
Try to keep from laughing when I tell you tonight's episode title. Ready? It's "Somebody That I Used to Know." Gotye has officially infiltrated television. While that song plays circles through your head, let me tell you what's happening in Bon Temps tonight: First, the Authority gets sent off in a different direction. Finally. Then Sookie and Jason visit their parents' death sites. Dark. I like it.

10pm, USA
Political Animals
In "The Woman Problem," Elaine makes the official family announcement that she's running for office. But Garcetti hatches a plan that will create friction between Elaine and her mentor, which knocks her off balance. Douglas, Bud, and T.J. decide to visit a pollster while en route to their fishing trip destination, and Susan lets her top-secret story slip with Alex. Yep, sounds like a show about politics!

10:30pm, Showtime
Matt LeBlanc is dealing with a stalker who friends Sean on Facebook before tracking him while he's out with Matt. Merc and Jamie's affairs hit a snag thanks to a travel agent's mistake, and Morning turns into a walking consequence of what a botched plastic surgery can look like. Yuh oh.

Big Brother, 8 p.m., CBS
Chopped, 8 p.m., Food
Jerseylicious, 8 p.m., Style
Mob Wives Chicago, 8 p.m., VH1
Nazi Underworld, TWO-HOUR SPECIAL, 8 p.m., Nat Geo
Sunday Best, 8 p.m., BET
3, 9 p.m., CBS
Bar Rescue, SEASON 2 PREMIERE, 9 p.m., Spike
Big Ang, 9 p.m., VH1
Hoarding: Buried Alive, 9 p.m., TLC
Ice Road Truckers, 9 p.m., History
Keeping Up with the Kardashians, 9 p.m., E!
Masterpiece Mystery!, 9 p.m., PBS
Nightmare Next Door, 9 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Snapped, 9 p.m., Oxygen
Breaking Bad, 10pm, AMC
Bridezillas, 10 p.m., WE
I Survived..., 10 p.m., Biography
Iron Chef America, 10 p.m., Food
Oprah's Lifeclass, 10 p.m., OWN
Strange Sex, 10 p.m., TLC
Taboo, 10 p.m., NatGeo
The Newsroom, 10 p.m., HBO
The Real Housewives of New Jersey, 10 p.m., Bravo
Weeds, 10 p.m., Showtime
Black Dynamite, 11:30 p.m., Adult Swim
Aqua Something You Know Whatever, 12 a.m., Adult Swim
Metalocalypse!, 12:15 a.m., Adult Swim

What are you watching this weekend?

Comments (32)
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Episodes? Isn't that already finished? Has season 3 started already?
It's been the Olympics all the way for me. The Opening Ceromony was great and we had live from the BBC. NBC apparently didn't show it live which is a disgrace, it really should be apart of their contract with the IOC that they have to show the opening and closing live. We had to watch the Bejing opening in the early morning but that's life.
What was worse was that the yanks removed the 7/7 tribute dance. Disgraceful!
Breaking Bad, Continuum, Weeds and True Blood.
Episodes is such a hit! Like so many it gets squat of recognition!

Lets give everything to the money whores at Modern Family!!!!!
True Blood, Weeds, & Breaking Bad
Episodes and the Newsroom.
I'll be watching the Olympics and my friends at The Nerdist.
The Olympic games are soooo boring.

That being said, here's my watchlist: Political Animals, true Blood and Breaking Bad.
We don't know really know, but Six Feet Under, a major HBO show that Ball ran, followed a VERY similar direction. So we'll see. I loved Godric in season two, but I haven't cared for any of his appearances beyond that. Understand about Tara, season 3 kind of condemned that character.
I'm a little over Fangtasia. Tara's fault. Godric is always the best part of TB.

As for the whole Alan Ball thing, well, I've never really paid attention to writers/producers/directors. So I guess I don't really know if the extra sucky episodes can be directly blamed on him (instead of Tara). If you don't really know what someone does for/on a TV show do you really notice when they're gone?
Breaking Bad and True Blood.
Full immersion on the olympics and Continuum. It's one of the best show on air this summer. I know that it's not a perfect show , but it should be in the list.
The Summer Olympics!!!!!! :)
common law, true blood, political animals, the newsroom, olympics olympics olympics
Nothing :(
Just Common Law
Fri: Lost Girl and the Opening to the Olympics

Sun: True Blood, Newsroom, Political Animals, and MAYBE Weeds

I guess TNT is just skipping this week's Leverage + Falling Skies due to the Olympics.
Common Law, Craig Ferguson, and the Olympics Opening Ceremonies tonight.

Nothing on Saturday.

The Newsroom, Continuum and BREAKING BAD, BITCH on Sunday. I apologize for the language.
The Olympics is the ultimate reality show.


I can't wait for the Opening Ceremonies! I sincerely hope they can replace the horrifying memories of the Closing Ceremonies at Vancouver 2010. My beloved Canada. Our Opening Ceremonies were absolutely breathtaking, then we closed the Olympic Games with 30-foot prancing inflatable Beavers, Hockey Players and Mounties. The horror. Organizers said it was "tongue in cheek" and a representation of Canadians self-deprecating nature. How I would love to body-check the people behind that idea. Thank God (according to the IOC) we won the Games, or we may have never lived it down.

Anyway, best of luck to the Brits! I hope it's a cracker of a show.

Sunday: Breaking Bad, The Newsroom, True Blood (still against my better judgement ... though I liked the appearance of Godric) and Political Animals.
Re: True Blood, If you happen to find any better judgement, would you please share? I've been trying to break up with that show for two summers now.
I know, right?! We actually took a pretty serious break at the beginning of this season. But then Price Peterson came swashbuckling in on a rainbow of hilariousness (he reviewed True Blood while Lily was away), and now we're back together. This show is harder to kick than a V addiction!
Is there a support group for TB addicts? Ooooohhh, can we call it a True Blood hate group?!? Cheap beer and shotguns for everyone!
No offense Nick, but I seriously hope that your gut is way off.

FF, I don't know if we watch ALL the same shows, but Tara is right up there in a class with Abbey Bennet.
Accidently deleted my comment earlier. It would be great to see Eric as a BAMF again, since Eric from seasons 1 - 3 was the best. I'm more tolerable of Tara this season, though most of that is because of Pam. I do have a gut feeling that she (Pam) will die this season at the hands of Russell.
Haha! Awesome! I can feel the love from our hate group already.

(P.S. I'm glad to have found another Godric fan! I wish he was still around. Godric vs. Russell would have been epic! But hopefully his reappearance will help restore Eric's BAMF status.)

(P.P.S. Tara ruins everything.)
Friday: -

Saturday: -

Sunday: True Blood, Breaking Bad, Continuum.

And of course Olympics when an interesting event is on.
Friday: Common Law, reuns...

Saturday: The Nerdist, reruns...

Sunday: Inspector Lewis (on Masterpiece Mystery), reruns...
Friday: Opening ceremonies of the Olympics, Common Law and Lost Girl.

Saturday and Sunday: Summer Olympics!
FR.: Common Law

SA.: NYC 22

SU.: The Newsroom, Political Animals, Weeds, Continuum
Fri: The Olympics, Lost Girl, John Oliver's NY Stand-Up and Comedy Bang! Bang.

Sat: The Nerdist and The Graham Norton Show.

Sun: The Penguins of Madagascar, Breaking Bad, True Blood, Hoarding: Buried Alive and My Yard Goes Disney.

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