It's the freakin' weekend, baby! Time to quickly analyze whether or not you're going to be happily spooning the television all weekend long or forced to go outside for lack of good TV. Let's take a gander, shall we?
What to watch on Friday, August 10...
SPECIAL, 9 pm, PBS
Tanglewood 75th Anniversary Celebration
We all like classical music—and if we don't, we should, because it's been proven to make our brains smarter. Make your brain smarter tonight by tuning into this two-hour PBS special marking Tanglewood's 75th anniversary. Performances will be made by the Boston Pops, Boston Symphony Orchestra, the Tanglewood Festival Chorus, Yo-Yo Ma, Emanuel Ax, Anne-Sophie Mutter, James Taylor, and Peter Serkin.
SEASON 1 FINALE, 10pm, USA
In tonight's season finale, "Gun!," Wes and Travis finally come clean to Dr. Ryan about what actually landed them in therapy. One full season in and we get the full story at last. Any guesses on what their story entails? I hope it includes Mike Tyson's bengal tiger—or a pocket picking monkey from Thailand.
Tom Green Live
Remember this guy? "My bum is on your—"you get the idea. Well it appears he's re-appeared from somewhere in the ether and will be hosting an hour-long stand-up comedy set where he'll reveal his thoughts on social media, politics, and—wait for it—his uber-serious battle with cancer. I guess that's where he's been... in which case, I'm glad he's back!
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
XXX Summer Olympics, TRACK & FIELD, DIVING, CYCLING, 8 p.m., NBC
Tyler Perry's House of Payne, 8 p.m., TBS
WWE Friday Night Smackdown!, 8pm, Syfy
20/20, 9 p.m., ABC
America's Most Wanted, 9 p.m., Lifetime
Chasing UFOs, 9 p.m., NatGeo
Hollywood Heights, 9pm, Nickelodeon
Motives & Murders, 9 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Say Yes to the Dress, 9pm, TLC
Super Saver Showdown, 9 p.m., OWN
Tyler Perry's For Better or Worse, 9 p.m., TBS
You Live in What?, 9 p.m., HGTV
3 Days to Open with Bobby Flay, 10 p.m., Food
Comedy Bang! Bang!, 10 p.m., IFC
Evil, I, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Fashion Police, 10 p.m., E!
Lost Girl, 10 p.m., Syfy
Randy to the Rescue, 10 p.m., TLC
Real Life: The Musical, 10 p.m., OWN
The Dead Files, 10 p.m., Travel
Bunk, 10:30 p.m., IFC
House Hunters International, 10:30 p.m., HGTV
Due to the Olympics, tonight's late-nite TV will be airing reruns. Enjoy!
What to watch on Saturday, August 11...
SEASON FINALE, 8pm, CBS
In tonight's finale, "Turf War," Kenny and Ahmad search for a pickpocket. That doesn't sound like much for finale fodder—but thankfully it's not all that's going down: Jackpot and White House stake out a street-ball tournament and Tonya and Lazarus try to get tenants to evacuate a condemned apartment complex shortly before it gets destroyed. It's a race against the clock—and perfect finale fare.
SPECIAL, 9pm, BBC America
The Women of Doctor Who
Last week BBC America explored the science behind Doctor Who. This week, the network will explore the women behind Doctor Who. Get your mind out of the gutter, this isn't James Bond we're talking about. These women are strong, independent female characters who have each in some way helped the Doctor on his quest to save the universe.
10pm, BBC America
Saturday's episode of The Nerdist will be "A Tribute to Nerd Girls." I'm sensing a theme here. But why not celebrate the women in tech who are making waves in industries that all of us have become reliant on. Maybe women do secretly run the world!
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
XXX Summer Olympics, TRACK & FIELD, DIVING, VOLLEYBALL, 8 p.m., NBC
Shop This Room, 8 p.m., HGTV
Celebrity Ghost Stories, 9 p.m., Biography
Dateline: Real Life Mysteries, 9 p.m., TLC
Meg's Great Rooms, 9 p.m., HGTV
Tanked, 9 p.m., Animal Planet
Welcome to Sweetie Pie's: An Extra Slice, 9 p.m., OWN
The High Low Project, 9:30 p.m., HGTV
Dark Matters: Twisted but True, 10 p.m., Science
Happily Never After, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Princess, 10 p.m., CNBC
The uneXplained, 10 p.m., Biography
What to watch on Sunday, August 12...
CLOSING CEREMONY, 8pm, NBC
XXX Summer Olympics
The London Olympics are already over!? Did you get enough athletic testosterone pumping through your veins to last you until 2016? I sure hope so, or else it's panning out to be a pretty painful four years full of withdrawal for ya. In any case, the Closing Ceremony is a pleasant way to give ourselves some Olympic closure for the time being. What can we expect? Will James Bond reappear and airlift the Queen back into a helicopter? It's possible.
It begins! The week kicks off with three back-to-back shows about one of the world's most feared beasts. At 8pm, it's Ultimate Air Jaws: Reloaded, followed by Air Jaws Apocalypse at 9 pm, and Shark Week's Impossible Shot at 10pm. You're about to have so much South African Great White in your face you won't even know what to do.
SEASON 2 PREMIERE, 9pm, AMC
Hell on Wheels
In "Viva La Mexico" we're back on the railroad circa a really long time ago when cowboy hats were just called "hats." Here's where we find our wild west warriors: Lily and Durant attempt to steer the railroad further westward, but Elam and Cullen wind up on opposite sides of the law. Does that mean one of them's on the wrong side of the tracks? Puns!
SEASON 3 FINALE, 9pm, A&E;
The Season 3 finale is called "Endless Summer," which is a pretty great title for a finale, if you ask me. In it the founder of a surfing clothing line is found dead (now we get the reference!), but Jim's got more on his mind than murder: Frustrated by Callie's refusal to communicate he must decide whether or not to continue their relationship. Does this mean the season could wind up on a downer note?
NBC has had two weeks of solid Olympic coverage, but they aren't wasting any time getting back to business. As soon as the Closing Ceremony ends, the network will air a sneak peek of its new comedy starring Weeds' very own Justin Kirk. Kirk plays a practicing veterinarian with a passion for pets and a passionate distaste for the humans who own them. I'm already on board.
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
XXX Summer Olympics, CLOSING CEREMONY, 8 p.m., NBC
Big Brother, 8 p.m., CBS
Cupcake Wars, 8 p.m., Food
Insane Coaster Wars: The Top Ten, 8 p.m., Travel
Leverage, 8 p.m., TNT
Mob Wives Chicago, 8 p.m., VH1
Secret Millionaire, 8 p.m., ABC
Sunday Best, 8 p.m., BET
Bar Rescue, 9 p.m., Spike
Big Ang, 9 p.m., VH1
Chopped, 9 p.m., Food
Drop Dead Diva, 9 p.m., Lifetime
Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition, 9 p.m., ABC
Falling Skies, 9 p.m., TNT
Hoarding: Buried Alive, 9 p.m., TLC
Ice Road Truckers, 9 p.m., History
Nick News With Linda Ellerbee, 9 p.m., Nickelodeon
Nightmare Next Door, 9 p.m., Investigation Discovery
True Blood, 9 p.m., HBO
Xtreme Waterparks: World's Best Rides, 9 p.m., Travel
All You Can Meat, SEASON PREMIERE, 10 p.m., Travel
Army Wives, 10 p.m., Lifetime
Breaking Bad, 10 p.m., AMC
Bridezillas, 10 p.m., WE
Flip Men, 10 p.m., Spike
High School Moms, SERIES PREMIERE, 10 p.m., TLC
Iron Chef America, 10 p.m., Food
Longmire, SEASON 1 FINALE, 10 p.m., A&E;
On the Case with Paula Zahn, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Political Animals, 10 p.m., USA
The Comedy Central Roast of Roseanne, 10 p.m., Comedy Central
The Great Escape, 10 p.m., TNT
The Newsroom, 10 p.m., HBO
The Real Housewives of New Jersey, 10 p.m., Bravo
Weeds, 10 p.m., Showtime
Episodes, 10:30 p.m., Showtime
Black Dynamite, 11:30 p.m., Adult Swim
Aqua Something You Know Whatever, 12 a.m., Adult Swim
Squidbillies, 12:15 a.m., Adult Swim
What are you watching this weekend?