What to watch on Friday, June 14...
SEASON 2 PREMIERE, 9pm, Starz
A murder charge forces Ike’s family to scrounge up bail money in “Crime and Punishment,” bringing his secrets to light in the process. Ben, fearing that Ike may fold like a Murphy bed under the pressure, offers to lend a hand as well.
“Split Second” finds Kiera and Carlos reuniting over piquant chai lattes in the loveliest little neighborhood cafe you ever... wait, no, sorry, their reunion actually demands that they neutralize Liber8’s ballsy jailbreak caper. Elsewhere, Kellog makes Alec an attractive partnership offer.
In “Sex Fest,” a fan sends Marc a bawdy photo and invites him to a weekend-long schtuppathon. Guests Dave Anthony, Dana Gould, and Anthony Jeselnik can’t promise anything more than a few PG-13 Snapchats.
– Armie Hammer, animal expert Dave Salmoni, and The Boxer Rebellion on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:35pm, NBC
– Adam Levine, Cedric the Entertainer, and Ariana Grande featuring Mac Miller on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:37am, NBC
– Emily Mortimer and Barry Rothbart on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37am, CBS
What to watch on Saturday, June 15...
BURNOFF EPISODES, 8pm & 9pm, ABC
With “Chain” at 8pm and “Suspension” at 9pm, the canceled conspiracy thriller/globetrotting mystery/Twitter punchline returns for a triumphant summer burnoff. In tonight’s first episode, a captive Laila manipulates White Vincent, who manipulates Hank, who fields spooky omens from the Shepherds. In the second, Hank and Beck follow their next clue to Paraguay, while Arron and Rachel meet the shadowy ringleader of 41 Trust. I’ll just trust that you diehard Zerovians out there understand what any of that means.
Sam & Cat
“#FavoriteShow” throws Sam and Cat into a campaign to save their most beloved TV program from cancellation. Sorry ladies, but there’s no way ABC is bringing Zero Hour back in the fall. Honestly, you should be happy it’s even getting the chance to play out the string. I mean, did you read those episode summaries?
AFI Life Achievement Award: A Tribute to Mel Brooks
The American Film Institute honors the venerable writer, director, and stand-up philosopher with its 41st Lifetime Achievement Award at a Hollywood gala recorded on June 6. Turning out to pay homage to Brooks are Carl Reiner, Martin Scorcese, Amy Poehler, and Larry David, among others.
When the Providence is snared by brigands, Sinbad must match wits with their fiendish leader Razia. Let’s assume she is the titular “Queen of the Water Thieves,” and not merely, say, the boss of the Water Thieves Local #348.
Primeval: The New World
First Nations territory is the stomping ground of the latest monster, a sea serpent known in indigenous Pacific Northwest mythology as “Sisiutl.” According to Wikipedia, the Sisiutl is “the god of warrior invincibility, a magic war-canoe that can go underground... and guardian of the house of the sky people.” So yeah. Suck on that, Sharktopus.
WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING TONIGHT?
What to watch on Sunday, June 16...
SEASON 6 PREMIERE, 9pm, HBO
“Who Are You, Really?” kicks off Season 6 with Bill’s gore-splattered return to the land of the living(ish). While Sookie & Co. keep their distance, Alcide is drawn closer to the fringe benefits of life as a packmaster, Gov. Burrell throws down the gauntlet on vampires, and Andy wrangles his brood of baby hybrids.
Linden and Holder re-team in “Head Shots,” and their karaoke spin on the Peaches & Herb classic “Reunited” will help you explore the soaring reaches of the human heart in ways you’ve scarcely imagined possible. Also the task force closes a business, presumably for some crime-stoppy reason.
SEASON 5 FINALE, 9pm, Showtime
A row with Frank puts a damper on Jackie’s one-year sober anniversary in “Soul.” The episode's logline also notes that “Zoey becomes rigid around Prentiss” in this episode, and that can only mean one thing: Prentiss has straight-up transmogrified into a Gorgon, turning all mortals who now gaze upon his twisted visage into solid stone. Bummer, that.
SEASON 2 FINALE, 9pm & 10pm, Lifetime
The Client List
In “What Kind of a Fool Do You Think I Am” at 9pm, Riley discovers, much to her chagrin, that the list—yes, THAT list—has been pilfered. At 10pm, the search for the ill-gotten info is underway in “Wild Nights Are Calling,” but Riley’s efforts endanger Georgia, Nikki, and Judge Overton. Meanwhile, Riley’s disclosure puts a rift in her friendship with Lacey, and the arrival of a French couple at the spa forces Selena and Derek to make a risky decision.
“Don takes a day off,” says the synopsis for “The Quality of Mercy,” a nice alley-oop pass for the fake plot of the week, wherein Don crashes a float at the Von Steuben Day parade and wows Peggy and Pete with an impromptu rendition of “Danke Schoen.” Back at the office, the partners are at odds over a new campaign.
SERIES FINALE, 10pm, Showtime
With the news that Showtime has opted not to pick up The Borgias for a fourth season, “The Prince” is Cesare’s last chance to cross some stuff off his to-do list. Let’s see... mend fences with Alexander? Check. Sic his army on Forli? Check. Get into a scrap with a soused Alfonso and clobber the poor sot to within an inch of his life? Check and double check.
In "Running," Selina’s rivalry with Danny Chung grows knottier as Dan keeps one foot in each camp. Is he hedging his bets, or has Veep unexpectedly entered shapeshifter/doppelganger/evil twin territory? Meanwhile, Selina resolves to keep her public appearances rolling despite the president’s disapproval.
The aliens plan to ring in their invasion’s two-year anniversary with a vehement assault on Charleston. Y’know, aliens, the traditional two-year anniversary gift on this planet is cotton, not death-ray fusillades; it seems a little uncouth to ignore local customs so blatantly. Elsewhere in “Badlands,” a sniper attack provokes unrest, Anne’s baby-related worries intensify, and Hal may have discovered the mole’s identity.
12am, Cartoon Network
The Venture Bros.
“SPHINX Rising” finds OSI ever more frustrated with 21’s management approach, though the die was probably cast for him when he tried to implement a new efficiency program and dubbed it SPHINX-Sigma. On the supervillain front, the Monarch gives a costume redesign a whirl.
And now, let’s all vote to crown the What to Watch Tonight Episode Title of the Week!