We made it! Vacation time. What will you do for your holiday weekend? Will you chase geese at the park? Will you work very hard and finally become a professional baseball player? Will you finally take the time to respond to all of your spams? The sky's the limit, you guys! Your television options, meanwhile, are pretty limited. But check these out:
What to watch on Friday, September 2...
Karaoke Battle USA
Contrary to popular belief, American Idol did not change its name and move to ABC for a summer season. (This is the most popular belief of them all.) Karaoke Battle USA is a completely separate show and it's been on for a few weeks now. Tune in for another installment tonight, in which more ordinary karaoke-singing citizens are profiled and at least one of them earns a spot in the national semifinals.
Tonight Audrey, Nathan, and Duke track down an evil, rampaging "copy" of a mild-mannered banker and try to put an end to his dastardly, id-driven ways. Or at least put an end to that tiresome doorway "mirror" routine he's always doing.
8:30pm, Cartoon Network
On the hunt for information on how to defeat Mumm-Ra, Lion-O accidentally finds himself transported into the Book of Omens. What will happen to him? And will tonight's episode finally address the litter box issue we've all been wondering about? Tune in!
SEASON 2 PREMIERE, 9pm, Discovery
Man, Woman, Wild
In tonight's Season 2 premiere, married adventurers Mykel and Ruth suffer a boat breakdown off the Bahamas and struggle to survive the situation while teaching the camera crew how to survive the situation. They'll probably mention this, but don't drink the ocean!
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
Friends With Benefits, 8 & 8:30 p.m., NBC
Dateline NBC, 9 p.m., NBC
Tanked, 9 p.m., Animal Planet
20/20, 10 p.m., ABC
Deadly Women, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Four Weddings, 10 p.m., TLC
One Man Army, 10 p.m., Discovery
Rat Busters NYC, 10 p.m., Animal Planet
Strike Back, 10 p.m., Cinemax
The Soup, 10 p.m., E!
Torchwood: Miracle Day, 10 p.m., Starz
Anime Iron Man, 11 p.m., G4
Glastonbury 2011, ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 11 p.m., VH1
Anime Wolverine, 11:30 p.m., G4
What to watch on Saturday, September 3...
ORIGINAL MOVIE, 8pm, NBC
Game Time: Tackling the Past
In tonight's NBC Family Movie Night Presented by WalMart and Proctor & Gamble, Chuck's Ryan McPartlin stars as a cocky pro-football player who goes home to his ailing father's bedside and deals with all his past regrets while also using and consuming countless Procter & Gamble products. Powerful stuff. (Febreze, that is.)
SERIES PREMIERE, 10pm, Discovery
I Faked My Own Death
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think there's anything ruder than faking one's own death. It's just very inconsiderate! I had to put on a suit and attend a funeral and you're sipping mai-tais in Puerto Vallarta? Anyway, check out Discovery's new series profiling real-life faked deaths. Tonight's episode follows a man who stages a plane crash and goes into hiding after refusing to commit fraud for his bosses. Fair enough, forcing someone to commit fraud is like the second rudest thing a person can do.
Celebrity Nightmares Decoded
It's one thing to hear Bronson Pinchot or Jodie Sweetin describe their nightmares—any of us could do that by just hanging out at the fast food franchises where they work. But it's quite another to have celebrity nightmare decoder Lauren Lawrence actually TELL US what their nightmares mean. And that's why this show exists now.
What to watch on Sunday, September 4...
Despite last week's freeze-frame to the contrary, it's looking like the leather-clad vampire badasses don't have too much luck at the Moon Goddess Emporium—so it's up to Sookie to use her faerie powers to save them. Plus Jesus does his best to infiltrate the Wiccans, Alcide comes to doubt Debbie's loyalties, and Sam gets revenge on Marcus.
Tonight Skyler figures out how to launder the huge load of money Walt brings in. Also Hank recruits Walt to help him explore his new Gus Fring suspicions. PLUS Jesse got troubles, y'all.
SERIES PREMIERE, 9pm, Discovery
Do you enjoy animated miniseries about the lives and behavior of dinosaurs? Question was rhetorical: Of course you do. But make sure to get your pastor's approval before tuning into tonight's premiere of Dinosaur Revolution: It discusses how dinosaurs EVOLVED! (Yeah right.)
Curb Your Enthusiasm
Tonight Larry is visited by horrible childhood memories of his traumatic run-in with an ice cream truck, which interferes with both his romantic relationships and his softball skills. Plus Larry spends some quality time with former pro baseball player Bill Bucker, who himself must deal with ghosts of trauma past.
Curiosity: Parallel Universes—Are They Real?
Why is anybody curious about this? The answer is YES. In the parallel universe you are married to the hottest person from your high school and you got straight A's in college and you made tons of great decisions in life but are miserable anyway. There, done. Curiosity sated? Well, tune into this thing and hear what some scientists have to say about it.
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
60 Minutes, 7 p.m., CBS
Dateline NBC, 7 p.m., NBC
Big Brother, 8 p.m., CBS
9/11: Heroes on the 88th Floor, ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 9 p.m.,TLC
Bridezillas, 9 p.m., WE
Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, 9 p.m., VH1
Drop Dead Diva, 9 p.m., Lifetime
ID Investigates: 9/11 Crime Scene Investigators, ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 9 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Masterpiece Mystery!, 9 p.m., PBS
Sunday 20/20: The Sixth Sense, 9 p.m., ABC
The Great Food Truck Race, 9 p.m., Food Network
In the Flow With Affion Crockett, 9:30 p.m., Fox
The Good Wife: A New Beginning, ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 9:30 p.m., CBS
Against the Wall, 10 p.m., Lifetime
Keeping Up With the Kardashians, 10 p.m., E!
Unusual Suspects, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Entourage, 10:30 p.m., HBO
What are you watching this weekend?