What to Watch Today: Memorial Day Marathons, Hatfields & McCoys, and The Bachelorette

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What to watch on Monday, May 28...

Honestly, not judging, but shouldn't you be outside right now? It's nice! (Right?) There's gotta be a BBQ or something. I don't know. Anyway, if being out-of-doors isn't really an option, then there's always this stuff:

9pm, ABC
The Bachelorette
Tonight the Bachelors accompany Emily to Dollywood where they'll be serenaded by Dolly Parton herself! Also there's a performance by singer Luke Bryan, but he is no Dolly Parton obviously. Then the guys have to prove their parenting meddle via participation in children's activities. Oh, and three of them will get the boot. But who?? Call your bookie and get those bets in!

9pm, NBC
American Ninja Warrior
Tonight's NBC broadcast of American Ninja Warrior brings us the Midwest Region finals. How many of these studly monkey men will make nationals? (Answer: 15 of them.) But which ones? Dang, your bookie's gonna be hearing from you A LOT tonight. (Gambling is an addiction, FYI. We're worried about you.)

MINISERIES PREMIERE, 9pm, History
Hatfields & McCoys
Tonight History gets all prestigious with its original programming when it unveils the first part of this big budget three night event! Kevin Costner stars as one of the patriarchs in the legendary Hatfield-McCoy squabble that nearly wiped out an entire neighborhood that one time in the '80s. (The 1880s.)

MEMORIAL DAY MARATHONS:

American Ninja Warrior, 1 p.m. - 6 p.m., G4
Band of Brothers, 9 a.m. - 7:30 p.m., Spike
Bethenny Ever After, 7 a.m. - 8 p.m., Bravo
Cake Boss, 6 a.m. - 9:30 p.m., TLC
Deadliest Catch, 9 a.m. - 8 p.m., Discovery
Hoarding: Buried Alive, 12 p.m. - 1 a.m., Discovery Fit & Health
I (Almost) Got Away With It, 11 a.m. - 6 p.m., OWN
Law & Order, 10 a.m. - 7 p.m., TNT
Mary Mary, 11 a.m. - 5 p.m., WE
NCIS, 6 a.m. - 6 p.m., USA
Nightmare Next Door, 9 a.m. - 9 p.m., Investigation Discovery
One Tree Hill, 10 a.m. - 6 p.m., SoapNet
Pawn Stars, 8 a.m. - 8:30 p.m., History
Ridiculousness, 12 p.m. - 10:30 p.m., MTV
Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory, 12 a.m. - 11:30 a.m., MTV
South Park, 9 a.m. - 10:30 p.m., Comedy Central
Storage Wars, 8 a.m. - 8:30 p.m., A&E;
The Bad Girls Club, 10 a.m. - 8 p.m., Oxygen
The Golden Girls, 6 p.m. - 1 a.m., WE
The Parkers, 8 a.m. - 7 p.m., BET
Top Gear (U.K.), 8 a.m. - 8:30 p.m., BBC America

PLUS ALL NEW EPISODES OF...
America's Got Talent , 8 p.m., NBC
Basketball Wives, SEASON 4 FINALE, 8 p.m., VH1
Pawn Stars, 8 p.m., History
Rags, ORIGINAL MOVIE, 8 p.m., Nickelodeon
The Secret Life of the American Teenager, 8 p.m., ABC Family
The Annoying Orange, SNEAK PREVIEW, 8:30 p.m., Cartoon Network
Top Gear (U.K.), 8 p.m., BBC America
Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations, 9 p.m., Travel
Cake Boss, SEASON 5 FINALE, 9 p.m., TLC
Gene Simmons Family Jewels, SEASON 7 PREMIERE, 9 p.m., A&E;
Keeping Up With the Kardashians, 9 p.m., E!
River Monsters, 9 p.m., Animal Planet Single Ladies, 9 p.m., VH1
Bethenny Ever After, SEASON 3 FINALE, 10 p.m., Bravo
Extreme Couponing, SEASON 3 PREMIERE, 10 p.m., TLC
Killer Kids, 10 p.m., Bio
Monster In-Laws, SEASON 2 PREMIERE, 10 p.m., A&E;
Mrs. Eastwood & Company, 10 p.m., E!
Outlaw Empires, 10 p.m., Discovery
Ridiculousness, 10 p.m., MTV
Money From Strangers, 10:30 p.m., MTV

LATE-NITE PICKS:
Bar Refaeli on Chelsea Lately, 11 p.m., E!
Benjamin McKenzie & Shohreh Aghdashloo on Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS


What are you watching tonight?