What to watch on Monday, May 27...
MARATHON, 8am, Syfy
Syfy's Memorial Day Creature Feature Marathon
Ah, Memorial Day. A time when Americans take the day to commemorate our bravest citizens, to celebrate the simple joys of family and barbecuing, and to watch 20 consecutive hours of giant mutant hybrid creatures straight walloping one another/civilization in general. This Syfy Original Movie round-up includes such made-for-cable spectacles as Dinoshark, Dinocroc vs. Supergator, and the immortal Sharktopus.
MARATHON, 10am, TNT
Catching up on all ten episodes from Season 1 won’t help prepare you for an actual alien invasion. But it just might help prepare you for the upcoming third season of a cable drama about an alien invasion, provided you also catch next weekend’s marathon of Season 2. Of course, if you’re trying to batten down the hatches for a real-life extraterrestrial occupation, you should stockpile something useful, like canned goods or a laser gun that slides back and forth and shoots upward.
MARATHON, 11am, Comedy Central
If you prefer your holiday marathons with more raunch, satire, and crudely animated Coloradans, Comedy Central tosses up 12 hours of South Park. And to wet your whistle for the upcoming film Now You See Me, all two dozen episodes spin on the themes of magic, elaborate heists, and/or corporate entertainment synergy.
7:30pm, Cartoon Network
After his latest scheme goes kaput, Ice King retires from scheming altogether in “The Party’s Over, Isla de Senorita.” Then in “Princess Monster Wife,” strange circumstances are robbing princesses of their body parts left and right, which sounds disturbingly like a job for the Criminal Minds team.
SEASON 9 PREMIERE, 8pm, ABC
Once spurned by erstwhile Bachelor Sean Lowe, Desiree Hartsock now takes center stage as 25 would-be wooers vie for her affections. Among the potentially suitable suitors this season are muscular oil rig worker, a single father with his tot in tow, and a magician who would end this whole contest immediately if he came out to the strains of “The Final Countdown.”
8pm, ABC Family
The Secret Life of the American Teenager
Amy’s secrecy irks Ricky, who insists she lay her cards on the table in “Caught in a Trap.” Meanwhile, Ethan is bombarded with romance advice, Chloe moves beyond her past baggage, and Ben’s persistent courtship attempts rile Amy, thus completing the circle of relationship anger.
The Goodwin Games
Everyone’s dreams get thwarted in “Welcome Home, Goodwins.” Henry is bummed to learn that Lucinda is off the market, Chloe’s efforts to reconcile with April hit unexpected obstacles, and Jimmy’s criminal endeavors implode in Granby’s intimate confines.
SEASON 4 PREMIERE, 9pm, A&E
A spooky plantation manor, an heiress’s corpse, and a 19th-century ghost story? Sounds like Jim will be exploring the Platonic ideal of Southern gothic horror as “Yankee Dan” kicks off Season 4.
SEASON 2 PREMIERE, 10pm, A&E
“Unquiet Mind” offers at least the third “prison-transfer-goes-sideways” storyline I’ve seen in the last few weeks. People, please: If you live in a TV show, leave your prisoners where they damn are. No good comes from schlepping them all over the place. See, now Walt has to track down a group of escaped convicts, one of whom is a serial killer. And they’ve taken hostages! And they’re hiding on top of a mountain! With a storm coming! Do we need J. Walter Weatherman to impart this lesson for you?
Golly, sure is quiet here on the ol’ primetime network TV block, now that summer’s come and... Revolution? What’re you still doing here? Didn’t you notice all your neighbors have cleared out for summer vacation? And you’ve still got TWO MORE episodes in the can? Huh. So, “Children of Men,” eh? Rachel and Monroe going toe-to-toe, Miles and Monroe also squaring off after the group penetrates the Tower. I can see why you’d want to stick around for that.
WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING TONIGHT?