What to watch on Monday, January 16...
This is it, the first PERFECT week of 2012. The week in which we do everything perfectly, we get all our work done, we pay compliments to strangers, we remember to feed our pet bunnies even though they are mostly jerks, and we even do a couple of jumping jacks just for good measure. It'll all be perfect, and it all starts with tonight's TV selection:
SERIES PREMIERE, 8pm, Fox
Few people know how to conceive and execute an awesome pilot like producer J.J. Abrams. Whether or not his shows completely capitalize on their potential down the line is a different conversation. But Alcatraz looks GOOD! The mysterious sci-fi premise involves prisoners who disappeared decades ago from the legendarily water-locked prison, only to reappear and cause mayhem in the present day. A task force that includes Lost's Jorge Garcia (Hey, Hurley!) assembles to help track them down and/or figure out what the heck is happening. Sounds good to me!
ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 8pm, NBC
Betty White's 90th Birthday: A Tribute to America's Golden Girl
National treasure Betty White remains alive and hilarious, and at 90 years old that is nothing to shake a stick at (please stop shaking sticks, btw). Tune in and see a whole boatload of stars saluting the former Golden Girls star in a ceremony that promises to include musical performances, surprise guests, and a guaranteed-charming speech from Ms. White herself.
SEASON 2 PREMIERE, 9pm, Syfy
This surprisingly great U.K. remake returns for a second season tonight and finds each of its monsters dealing with new realities. Aidan struggles with the sudden power vacuum in the vampire world, plus Sally's powers grow stronger, and puppy dog Josh attempts to set up house with Nora. No word yet on whether producers will ever add a fourth monster, the hunky leprechaun neighbor, but you'll be the first to know when they do.
It's not clear if The Bachelor franchise will ever address issues of the human heart, modern relationships, or the complicated, mysterious forces of love that alter many of our lives forever. But tonight's episode WILL address San Francisco pavement-skiing and drunken exes crashing Ben's cocktail party. Also lady clowns?
8pm, ABC Family
Pretty Little Liars
By now we know just how pretty this show's characters are, as well as how much they enjoy lying. But has an episode ever really focused on how little they are? Producers, if you're reading this, could you please incorporate more comically over-sized props? Like one of the liars could use a giant toothbrush, and maybe another one's bed looks suspiciously like a thimble? Anyway, in tonight's episode Caleb is desperately searching for Lucas (and wondering why Hanna doesn't care), plus Spencer's pursuit of "A" leads her into new territory.
SERIES PREMIERE, 10pm, Syfy
If there's a universal story we can all relate to, it's definitely the one about a troubled girl who discovers she's the descendant of a succubus. That universal tale will be told in Syfy's newest series, Lost Girl. Let's just hope it's more Being Human than Three Inches.
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
Antiques Roadshow, 8 p.m., PBS
Gossip Girl, 8 p.m., CW
How I Met Your Mother, 8 p.m., CBS
iCarly, 8 p.m., Nickelodeon
Love & Hip Hop, 8 p.m., VH1
Oprah and the Legendary Cast of 'Roots' 35 Years Later, ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 8 p.m., OWN
The Mortified Sessions, 8 p.m., Sundance
2 Broke Girls, 8:30 p.m., CBS
America's Money Class with Suze Orman, 9 p.m., OWN
Cake Boss: Next Great Baker, 9 p.m., TLC
First Week In, 9 p.m., Discovery
Hoarders, 9 p.m., A&E;
The Lying Game, 9 p.m., ABC Family
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, 9 p.m., Bravo
Two and a Half Men, 9 p.m., CBS
Betty White's Off Their Rockers, ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 9:30 p.m., NBC
Mike & Molly, 9:30 p.m., CBS
Caged, 10 p.m., MTV
Castle, 10 p.m., ABC
Hawaii Five-0, 10 p.m., CBS
Intervention, 10 p.m., A&E;
Pawn Stars, 10 p.m., History
Rock Center with Brian Williams, 10 p.m., NBC
Scouted, 10 p.m., E!
It's a Brad Brad World, 10:15 p.m., Bravo
What are you watching tonight?