What to watch on Wednesday, May 23...
WHA!! Oh hey, I didn't see you there! Whew, you really startled me! Why are you tiptoeing? I mean, I don't want to use the word "creep" but that is definitely what you were doing just now! Jeez, my heart is racing here. Anyway... Whew, kinda jumpy still. So hey, wanna watch TV tonight?
SEASON 11 FINALE, 8pm, Fox
So who'd you vote for? Angelic Jessica or Dreamy Phillip? Or did you skip the final performances entirely so that you could shake your head about the current state of American pop culture while staring desolately into the middle distance? Either way, tonight we'll find out who won! In addition to that announcement, this two-hour finale will feature performances by Rihanna and some guy named Scotty McCreery who apparently won last year? I don't know, my memory is not what it once was. Enjoy your time in the spotlight, Phillip and Jessica!
SEASON 3 FINALE, 9pm, ABC
In tonight's third season finale, Mitchell and Cameron enlist Gloria's Spanish skills in their attempts to adopt child #2. Meanwhile Jay and Manny go all Dance Moms on Lily to prepare her for her recital, plus Alex gets ready for prom, and Haley drops a bombshell! Not a literal bombshell, this is not that kind of show. (Although I would NOT mind if a literal bombshell somehow came into play!)
SEASON 13 FINALE, 10pm, NBC
Law & Order: SVU
In "Rhodium Nights," an underage escort gets very murdered at a rich dude's bachelor party and the team has to sort through the suspects while keeping things discreet. Next up: SVU's writing staff will spend the summer writing Season 14 using their sexy/macabre refrigerator poetry set. For example, here's 14x01: "Hooker." "Lawyer." "Caresses." "Victims." "At." "Twincest." "Jamboree."
SEASON 1 FINALE, 9:30pm, ABC
Don't Trust the B---- In Apartment 23
Now that you've had an entire (half) season to evaluate, how do you feel about this show? It seemed pretty solid to me! But what do I know? Nothing, or next to nothing, that's what. Anyway, in "Shitagi Nashi..." the season closes out with June attempting to keep up with Chloe's partygirl lifestyle and James Van Der Beek getting super mad about the size of Dean Cain's Dancing With the Stars dressing room.
SEASON 1 FINALE, 10pm, ABC
Aaand the remainder of the ABC Wednesday night lineup calls it a season tonight with "Reckoning," in which Emily finally closes in on the Graysons. But will an "explosive event" throw everything into chaos? And will that explosive event be bomb-related or bathroom-related? (Sorry.) Either way, be careful, Emily!
PLUS ALL NEW EPISODES OF...
The Middle, SEASON 3 FINALE, 8 p.m., ABC
America's Next Top Model: British Invasion, 9 p.m., CW
I (Almost) Got Away With It, 9 p.m., Investigation Discovery
America's Best Dance Crew, 10 p.m., MTV
Brave New World with Stephen Hawking, 10 p.m., Science
Duck Dynasty, 10 p.m., A&E;
The Soup, 10 p.m., E!
Toddlers & Tiaras, 10 p.m., TLC
Total Blackout, 10 p.m., Syfy
White Heat, 10 p.m., BBC America
Sold!, 11 p.m., History
Bill O'Reilly on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35 p.m., CBS
Charlize Theron & Jeffrey Dean Morgan on Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:34 p.m., NBC
Dan Rather on Watch What Happens: Live, 11 p.m., Bravo
Edie Falco & Penn and Teller on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:37 a.m., NBC
Howie Mandel & Alice Eve on Conan, 11 p.m., TBS
Jennifer Love Hewitt on Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS
Josh Brolin on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 12 a.m., ABC
Matt Walsh on Last Call with Carson Daly, 1:36 a.m., NBC
Paula Abdul on The Wendy Williams Show, 12 a.m., BET
What are you watching tonight?