What to Watch Tonight: American Idol, Modern Family, and Royal Pains

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What to watch on Wednesday, January 18...

The week barrels onward, and an almost overwhelming amount of new programming continues comin' at us. Check out what's on tonight:

SEASON 11 PREMIERE, 8pm, Fox
American Idol
Who would've guessed that we'd actually be looking forward to American Idol Season 11? After the medium-sized bummer that was The X Factor, it's suddenly time to return to the series that kicked off America's love affair with high-stakes talent shows. Tonight's first round of auditions kicks off in Savannah, where presumably hundreds of fame-hungry masochists will splay themselves before the quadra-headed Gorgon known as the American Idol judges panel. Tune in to find out who will move on to the semifinals, and who will be eaten alive on national television.

9pm, CBS
Criminal Minds
Tonight the team looks into a series of San Francisco murders that bear a striking resemblance to those committed by the Zodiac Killer several decades ago. (Related question: Have you seen Zodiac? So good!)

9pm, ABC
Modern Family
In "Little Bo Bleep," Claire readies herself to face off against Duane Bailey in a televised debate for the town-council seat. Meanwhile, this is also the much-anticipated episode in which Baby Lily learns the F-word! Kids grow up so fast.

MIDSEASON PREMIERE, 10pm, USA
Royal Pains
Everyone's favorite intentionally funny Hamptons drama returns tonight to find Kassabian fighting for his life after a bad prescription reaction. Plus the gang attends a divorce party so that Hank can make sure the ill party planner doesn't drop dead during cocktail hour. That's just good doctoring right there.

10pm, NBC
Law & Order: SVU
Tonight things are both topical and political when a private military contractor CEO is sexually assaulted during an Iraq War-related protest. Proposed drinking game: Whenever something insightful or serious-minded is spoken, take a shot!

10pm, ABC
Revenge
Emily's gonna try to act hastily but Nolan's gonna be like, "Whoa girl, chill." Then, Charlotte gets super frustrated when she learns she has to move back in with Victoria. Plus Jack trusts the wrong dude (or dudette) and Daniel makes tough choices about his love life, and, I guess, wearing shirts.

PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
One Tree Hill, 8 p.m., CW
The Middle, 8 p.m., ABC
Whitney, 8 p.m., NBC
Are You There, Chelsea?, 8:30 p.m., NBC
Suburgatory, 8:30 p.m., ABC
Ghost Hunters, 9 p.m., Syfy
Harry's Law, 9 p.m., NBC
Only in America With Larry the Cable Guy, 9 p.m., History
Sons of Guns, SEASON 2 FINALE, 9 p.m., Discovery
Happy Endings, 9:30 p.m., ABC
CSI, 10 p.m., CBS
Dog the Bounty Hunter, 10 p.m., A&E;
Face Off, 10 p.m., Syfy
Hot in Cleveland, 10 p.m., TV Land
Mistresses, SEASON 3 PREMIERE, 10 p.m., BBC America
The Soup, 10 p.m., E!
Toddlers & Tiaras, 10 p.m., TLC
Top Chef: Texas, 10 p.m., Bravo
True Life: I'm a Sex Offender, 10 p.m., MTV
The Exes, 10:30 p.m., TV Land

LATE-NITE PICKS:
Amy Brenneman on Chelsea Lately, 11 p.m., E!
Bill Cosby on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:35 a.m., NBC
David Duchovny on Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS
Jennifer Garner on Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:35 p.m., NBC
Jimmy Fallon on Watch What Happens: Live, 11 p.m., Bravo
Michael Fassbender on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35 p.m., CBS
Queen Latifah on The Wendy Williams Show, 12 a.m., BET
Will Arnett on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 12 a.m., ABC

 

What are you watching tonight?