What to watch on Wednesday, August 24...
We're the two blonde twins you ordered.
We all know you love to go to dinner parties and adjust your glasses while saying, "I don't even own a television." But tonight is a good night to drag your TV out of its hiding place in the laundry hamper and plug it in. Because behold:
SERIES PREMIERE, 8pm, Fox
Although it's been over a decade since it first became a sensation, Antiques Roadshow (aka Antiques Bestshow) is finally taking over network television. Check out this new reality show in which a pair of charming twins (and AR alums) invade peoples' homes and appraise the F out of their antiques. "Congratulations, this wooden toilet belonged to Eleanor Roosevelt!" Cha-ching!
This is how it's done, Friends With Benefits. Just because one's new episodes get burnt off over the summer doesn't mean they have to be unwatchable! Anyway, tonight Dave dates a ladies lacrosse coach only to discover she has an interesting quirk, plus Penny finally gets a personal assistant but makes things awkward by trying to be a "cool boss."
SEASON 3 PREMIERE, 10pm, Animal Planet
Confessions: Animal Hoarding
You have have your Mad Mens and Breakings Bad, but those are nothing compared to the brilliance of this show. Confessions: Animal Hoarding is the best show in the television! We should be beaming it into outer space in order to impress aliens. After last week's where-are-they-now? episodes, tonight is the proper season 3 premiere and we'll meet a man who hoards VENEMOUS SNAKES.
10pm, TV Land
Hot in Cleveland
Tonight Betty White's character's headed to the altar and she turns into a whatever is like Godzilla but also a bride? And I'm sure you already guessed it, but the reverend is played by Cedric the Entertainer.
Tonight Dani treats a lady boxer who's begun to loser her memory. My guess is it has something to do with systematic pummeling to the head, but I'm not the expert, Dani is!
ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 10pm, NatGeo
Slammed: Inside Indie Wrestling
National Geographic's been getting SERIOUS with their documentaries lately. Did you see the one last week about child preachers? Now this one, an inside look at the indie pro wrestling industry and the promoters and fighters who just want to put on a good show (for money).
PLUS ALL NEW EPISODES OF...
Big Brother, 8 p.m., CBS
Melissa & Joey, 8 & 8:30p.m., ABC Family
Minute to Win It, 8 p.m., NBC
America's Got Talent, 9 p.m., NBC
Deadliest Warrior, 9 p.m., Spike
Degrassi: The Next Generation, 9 p.m., Teen Nick
Ghost Hunters, MIDSEASON PREMIERE, 9 p.m., Syfy
I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant, 9 & 9:30 p.m., TLC
Law & Order: UK, 9 p.m., BBC America
Roseanne's Nuts, 9 p.m., Lifetime
Royal Pains, 9 p.m., USA
Sons of Guns, 9 p.m., Discovery
Ton of Cash, 9 p.m., VH1
Alternate History, SERIES PREMIERE, 10 p.m., Spike
Dance Moms, 10 p.m., Lifetime
One Man Army, 10 p.m., Discovery
Outrageous Kid Parties, 10 & 10:30 p.m., TLC
Primetime Nightline: My (Extra) Ordinary Family, 10 p.m., ABC
Rescue Me, 10 p.m., FX
Storage Wars, 10 & 10:30 p.m., A&E;
The Challenge: Rivals, SEASON FINALE, 10 p.m., MTV
The Franchise: A Season with the San Francisco Giants, 10 p.m., Showtime
The Hour, 10 p.m., BBC America
Top Chef: Just Desserts, SEASON 2 PREMIERE, 10 p.m., Bravo
Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry?, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery
LATE NITE PICKS:
Ashton Kutcher on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35 p.m., CBS
Rashida Jones on Chelsea Lately, 11 p.m., E!
Regis Philbin & Vera Farmiga on Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS
What are you watching tonight?