What to watch on Thursday, September 22...
I hope you've been doing your jumping jacks, because you're going to need all the stamina you can muster for tonight's TV lineup! So many good things!
SEASON 3 PREMIERE, 8pm, NBC
In "Biology 101," Jeff has a run-in with his new biology teacher (played by OMAR from The Wire!) and gets himself kicked out of class. Plus the rest of the group speculates as to whether Pierce will be back for the semester and Dean Pelton deals with his newest rival, guest-star John Goodman!
SERIES PREMIERE, 8pm, ABC
For years America has demanded a new version of Charlie's Angels, but with little-known actresses, an unnecessarily hunky Bosley, and production value reminiscent of V.I.P. We finally got our show! In tonight's premiere, the ladies take on nothing less than a human trafficking ring while also investigating the murder of a colleague. Good times.
The Vampire Diaries
Klaus and Stefan's bizarre plot to convert werewolves into vampire-werewolves continues apace, plus Tyler and his mom have an awkward conversation when he discovers she attempted to murder his vampire-with-benefits Caroline. Typical mom stuff, you know?
SERIES PREMIERE, 9pm, CBS
Person of Interest
From the brain of J.J. Abrams comes another procedural/serial hybrid, this time about a washed-up CIA agent turned sexy hobo (Jim Caviezel) who's enlisted by a mysterious billionaire (Michael Emerson) to prevent prevent murders before they happen. I've seen the pilot and while the explanation of the murder-prediction device borders on hilarious, the show's super well-done and not very boring. (CBS, feel free to use that quote on the DVD cover.)
SEASON 8 PREMIERE, 9pm, NBC
We're officially in a post-Michael Scott world! It might take some getting used to, but fortunately the Robert California phase of this show is well underway, as tonight James Spader replaces Kathy Bates as Sabre CEO. He is hilarious! In tonight's Season 8 opener, the staff of the Scranton branch discovers a list with only certain names on it and speculates as to what it could mean.
SERIES PREMIERE, 10pm, NBC
One of the fall's most-anticipated new shows, Prime Suspect replaces Helen Mirren of the original British version with Maria Bello and one seriously funky hat. In tonight's premiere, NYC homicide detective Jane Timoney must deal with departmental sexism while trying to solve a murder. Go get 'em, lady!
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
The Big Bang Theory, SEASON 5 PREMIERE, 8 p.m., CBS
The X Factor, 8 p.m., Fox
Parks & Recreation, SEASON 4 PREMIERE, 8:30 p.m., NBC
Grey's Anatomy, SEASON 8 PREMIERE, 9 p.m., ABC
Millionaire Matchmaker, 9 p.m., Bravo
Project Runway, 9 p.m., Lifetime
The Secret Circle, 9 p.m., CW
Whitney, SERIES PREMIERE, 9:30 p.m., NBC
Ancient Aliens, 10 p.m., History
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, 10 p.m., FX
Jersey Shore, 10 p.m., MTV
The Mentalist, SEASON PREMIERE, 10 p.m., CBS
Archer, 10:30 p.m., FX
Russian Dolls, 11:30 p.m., Lifetime
NTSF:SD:SUV::, 12:15 a.m., Cartoon Network
Chris Hardwick on Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS
Ellen Pompeo & Darryl Hall on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 12 a.m., ABC
Jamie Foxx & Bush on Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:35 p.m., NBC
Jane Lynch on The Wendy Williams Show, 12 a.m., BET
Jonah Hill & John Noble on Conan, 11 p.m., TBS
Julianna Margulies & Wyatt Cenac on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:35 a.m., NBC
Kreayshawn on Last Call with Carson Daly, 1:35 a.m., NBC
Rachel Bilson on Chelsea Lately, 11 p.m., E!
Sofia Vergara & Chris Cornell on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35 p.m., CBS
What are you watching tonight?