What to Watch Tonight: Cougar Town, The River, and New Girl

What to watch on Tuesday, February 14...

Happy Valentine's Day! Or, you know, happy regular Tuesday! Because who cares, right? (Unless you DO care, in which case, you better run out and buy a bouquet of roses off some dude on the corner!) Anyway, check out tonight's array of hot, sexy, and sensual offerings:

Cougar Town
It took a while, but ABC finally deigned to allow Cougar Town to return, so that's worth celebrating right there. In tonight's season premiere, Jules attempts to prove to Grayson that she's not as predictable as he thinks. Plus, Ellie frets over whether Stan is the spawn of the devil, and Travis adjusts to living in off-campus housing with his dad's dog.

9pm, Fox
New Girl
Jess decides to celebrate Valentine's Day by having a one-night stand and Schmidt agrees to be her wingman. Meanwhile Nick's runs into trouble during his special night with Julia when he finds himself more excited about hanging out with Julia's assistant than with her. Uh-oh. Please don't go, Lizzy Caplan!

9pm, ABC
The River
Tonight hilarious cameraman A.J. finds himself at the center of things when he has to overcome some metaphorical demons in order to save the crew from a blindness-inducing tree spore. Meanwhile a local tribe mulls whether or not to just murder the whole bunch of them.

10pm, FX
Raylan must track down the crime spree-in' Dewey Crowe after he goes nuts from a run-in with an organ-harvesting ring. Elsewhere Boyd continues getting into heaps of trouble. Boyd <3s trouble so much!

10pm, TNT
Tonight John gets a little too involved in a case when he attempts to save a suicidal teen. Elsewhere Sammy deals with the consequences of using a drug dealer as an informant, plus Tang must deal with closet skeletons when someone from her past decides to swing by for some drama.

10pm, MTV
Teen Mom 2
MTV's most frightening horror show wraps up its second season tonight as Leah starts moving out of Corey's house, Jenelle deals with a possible bipolar diagnosis, and Chelsea takes a stab at her GED test. Seriously, this show should be underscored with fright strings.

Glee, 8 p.m., Fox
Last Man Standing, 8 p.m., ABC
NCIS, 8 p.m., CBS
Sports Illustrated: The Making of Swimsuit 2012, ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 8 p.m., VH1
Switched at Birth, 8 p.m., ABC Family
The Biggest Loser, 8 p.m., NBC
19 Kids and Counting, SEASON PREMIERE, 9 p.m., TLC
Dance Moms, 9 p.m., Lifetime
Jane by Design, 9 p.m., ABC Family
Joan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best?, 9 p.m., WE
NCIS: Los Angeles, 9 p.m., CBS
Ringer, 9 p.m., CW
The Real Housewives of Orange County, 9 p.m., Bravo
Raising Hope, 9:30 p.m., Fox
Body of Proof, 10 p.m., ABC
Chopped, 10 p.m., Food Network
Ink Master, 10 p.m., Spike
Parenthood, 10 p.m., NBC
The Game, 10 p.m., BET
Top Shot, SEASON 4 PREMIERE, 10 p.m., History
Tosh.0, 10 p.m., Comedy Central
Unforgettable, 10 p.m., CBS
Key & Peele, 10:30 p.m., Comedy Central
Let's Stay Together, 11 p.m., BET

Donald Trump & Idris Elba on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:35 a.m., NBC
Jerry O'Connell & Rebecca Romijn on The Wendy Williams Show, 12 a.m., BET
John Goodman & Kevin Nealon on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 12 a.m., ABC
Joss Stone on Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS
Leslye Headland on Last Call with Carson Daly, 1:35 a.m., NBC
Reese Witherspoon on Conan, 11 p.m., TBS
Ricky Gervais on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, 11 p.m., Comedy Central
Tyler Perry on Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:35 p.m., NBC
Viola Davis on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35 p.m., CBS


What are you watching tonight?

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