What to watch on Wednesday, July 17...
8pm, ABC Family
Melissa & Joey
Convincing Mel to cut ties with a codependent friend (Shannon Elizabeth), only to then start dating said friend behind Mel’s back? Joe, you Machiavellian bastard. Adding a second entendre to the title “The Unfriending,” Ryder suddenly becomes a social media persona non grata.
8:30pm, ABC Family
Breaking up is, as they say, hard to do. Lucky for Riley, nature does the job for her: Before she can dump Fitch, he kicks the bucket. Meanwhile in “Never Ben in Love,” Ben’s feelings for Megan intensify, but she worries that things are moving too quickly. Might the icy specter of death also spare her the awkwardness of an “it’s-not-you-it’s-me” speech? Fingers crossed, Megan!
SEASON 2 PREMIERE, 9pm, TLC
Here Comes Honey Boo Boo
I know, guys. Okay? I KNOW. But I am duty-bound to use this space to inform you that, yes, this is a thing that continues to exist and begins a run of brand-new episodes tonight. One such episode, “Mo’ Butter, Mo’ Better,” features Mama June rescinding the girls’ cell phone privileges as punishment for failing to do their chores. So you see? We all have our responsibilities, and if we fail to meet them, life whacks us upside the head. Now let us never speak of this again.
Franklin & Bash
In “Freck,” the boys’ knack for prankery once again proves a legal asset when they represent an old buddy accused of murdering his practical-joke nemesis. Honestly, he should’ve realized something was fishy about that “cursed” whoopie cushion he bought from that guy Sardo (no “Mister,” accent on the “-do”).
Hank becomes enmeshed in Don and Molly’s lives in “Vertigo,” while Evan learns that the political road is a rocky one. Elsewhere, Divya’s latest patient is a wunderkind conductor whose musical passion may be stymying his health. Is it me or is this, like, the fourth logline this season where the patient-of-the week is being sickened and atrophied by the thing they love? Is Royal Pains secretly a gritty fantasy show about a vengeful wizard tormenting the Hamptons with an ironic curse?
“V3 for Vendetta” finds Connor scouring his company for a mole, because if there’s one plot device on TV that's more underused than serial killers, it's moles. In less espionage-y business, Dani aids an accountant who’s keeping a skeleton in his closet, TK and Sheera kick their relationship up a notch, and Paloma accelerates her ambitions.
10pm, Comedy Central
“Saturday Morning Fun Pit” serves up another anthology triptych, as the Planet Express crew pays homage to the cereal-and-toy-hawking magic of AM cartoons.
Folks, I don’t know many things, but I know this: It ain’t camp without “Capture the Flag.” With the trenches dug and the water balloons flying, Sarah and Cole fire up their competitive spirit while Kip finds possible romance behind enemy lines. And for that extra dash of real-life enmity, Mack’s ex drops by seeking refuge after a fight with his girlfriend.
SERIES PREMIERE, 10pm, PBS
Nazi Mega Weapons
This series examines the Third Reich’s notably large and/or potent technology and materiel, pretty much like the name implies. The first subject is the Atlantic Wall, a coastal barricade designed to prevent an Allied invasion of Western Europe. (Spoiler alert: It was not wholly successful.)
10pm, TV Land
Hot In Cleveland
Victoria accidentally and publicly donates a small fortune during her spokesmodel gig in “Pony Up,” while Joy reconnects with Brony beau Sean (Eddie Cibrian). It’s unclear from the synopsis how guest-star Dave Foley fits in, but let’s just assume he’s an enormous Fluttershy fan.
10:30pm, TV Land
The guys glimpse another side of the dating world when they covertly create an online profile for Holly in “Zero Dark Forties.” Chances this episode is part one of a crossover with next week’s Catfish on sister network MTV: 63 percent.
– Noah Wyle, Ben Schwartz, and Pretty Lights with Talib Kweli on Conan, 11pm, TBS
– Jason Biggs on Chelsea Lately, 11pm, E!
– Author Reza Aslan on The Daily Show, 11pm, Comedy Central
– Jerry Seinfeld on The Colbert Report, 11:30pm, Comedy Central
– Jane Lynch, Charlie Hunnam, and Serena Ryder on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:35pm, NBC
– Brian Williams and Court Yard Hounds on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35pm, CBS
– Catherine Zeta-Jones, Colin Quinn, and Gogol Bordello on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:37am, NBC
– Anthony Hopkins and Jes Macallan on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37am, CBS