What to Watch Tonight: Happy Endings, American Horror Story, and Revenge

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What to watch on Wednesday, October 26...

Tonight you should take a break from your all-popsicle-stick Detroit cityscape project and indulge in some new TV programming! (Your wife and child miss you, btw.)

10pm, FX
American Horror Story
In the first installment of a two-parter, Halloween descends upon the Harmons' awful home and with it comes tons of new ghosts. Even worse, some of these ghosts will have super bossy decorating tips and a lack of respect for personal space. Ghosts: Still the worst.

10pm, ABC
Of all the fall shows, Revenge has most frequently toed the line between cult classic and big hit, and its trademark soapy schaudenfreude continues tonight as the Graysons start to doubt the professionalism of their security guy. Also, Emily and Tyler have a hard time containing their various tensions. Get a [green-screened] room, you two!

9:30pm, ABC
Happy Endings
Most of the gang gets to attend a Halloween-themed warehouse party, but Jane and Brad have to house-sit for some yuppie friends. Actually, hey wait, you can watch this right now on the internet!

10pm, USA
Original Buffy and replacement mannequin Kristy Swanson guest-stars tonight as Lassiter's mysterious new girlfriend who may or may not be responsible for a vampire-related murder. Suss this lady out, fellas!

10pm, Comedy Central
South Park
After Randy takes Sharon to see a hit musical (in Denver), he suddenly finds himself obsessed with Broadway shows. Will there be any Book of Mormon inside jokes, I wonder? It's actually not a question, I am wondering that.

In BBC America's newest import, a detective inspector tracks a killer who seems to be re-enacting the exploits of Jack the Ripper! Oh man, copycats are such a bummer.

8 Days a Week, SERIES PREMIERE, 8 p.m., BET
Survivor: South Pacific, 8 p.m., CBS
The Middle, 8 p.m., ABC
Suburgatory, 8:30 p.m., ABC
America's Next Top Model, 9 p.m., CW
Ghost Hunters, 9 p.m., Syfy
Harry's Law, 9 p.m., NBC
Law & Order: UK, 9 p.m., BBC America
MythBusters, 9 p.m., Discovery
Work of Art: The Next Great Artist, 9 p.m., Bravo
Extreme Couponing, 10 & 10:30 p.m., TLC
Penn & Teller Tell a Lie, 10 p.m., Discovery
Real World, 10 p.m., MTV
Top Chef: Just Desserts, SEASON 2 FINALE, 10 p.m., Bravo
Ultimate Fighter, 10 p.m., Spike
Nick Swardson's Pretend Time, 10:30 p.m., Comedy Central
Blue Mountain State, 11 p.m., Spike

Amanda Seyfried on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 12 a.m., ABC
Amber Heard on Last Call with Carson Daly, 1:35 a.m., NBC
Boyz II Men on The Wendy Williams Show, 12 a.m., BET
Dennis Miller on Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:35 p.m., NBC
Guillermo Del Toro on Colbert Report, 11:31 p.m., Comedy Central
Jane Lynch & Paul Scheer on Conan, 11 p.m., TBS
Justin Timberlake on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35 p.m., CBS
Salma Hayek, Elizabeth Olsen & Cyndi Lauper on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:35 a.m., NBC


What are you watching tonight?