What to Watch Tonight: Happy Endings, American Horror Story, and Survivor

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What to watch on Wednesday, November 16...

According to your calendar it's Soup Organization Day, the one day a year in which you really get your canned soup stockpile alphabetized and organized. But underneath that, pencil in the following activity: Watch TV! It's honestly the only way to unwind after a long day of canned-soup organization, trust me.

10pm, FX
American Horror Story
Tonight Moira and Constance come into direct conflict when Moira encourages prospective buyers to place an offer on the house. (Note to prospective buyers: Anything above $15 for that joint is a rip-off.) Meanwhile, Vivien and Security Guard Luke start flirtin' up a storm. Good luck with that, Luke!

8pm, NBC
Up All Night
Reagan's reputation as a tough-as-nails boss comes into question when she can't quite manage to fire her incompetent assistant (guest-star Molly Shannon). The B-story involves Chris and Reagan's search for a suitable babysitter, obviously. I'm surprised you didn't know that.

8pm, CBS
Survivor: South Pacific
Uh-oh, could there be another double elimination this week? Tune in to find out the answer to that question, as well as which two Redemption Island oustees will be going home, and also just how whiny Ozzy will be.

9:30pm, ABC
Happy Endings
Tonight Max must deal with the reappearance of his former high-school girlfriend when she moves back to town and alters the dynamic of his circle. Plus Jane discovers that Brad has a "work wife" at the office and resolves to find a "work husband" of her own. And Penny will continue to be the best.

9pm, CW
America's Next Top Model
The remaining models' feverish Greek-set nightmare escapade continues as they explore the ancient country's culture and nightlife. This week's photo shoot involves the Olympic games somehow, because I guess that was the second most obvious Greek thing after Greek salad? Zeus wept.

SEASON 15 FINALE, 10pm, Comedy Central
South Park
Much like the midseason finale in which Stan discovered cynicism, tonight's Season 15 finale takes a turn for the serious when Kenny's parents are locked up and he and his siblings are forced into the foster-care system. Will Cartman's efforts to restore Kenny to his status as the poorest kid in the school be Kenny's saving grace? Fingers-crossed!

PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
The Middle, 8 p.m., ABC
The X Factor, 8 p.m., Fox
Suburgatory, 8:30 p.m., ABC
Criminal Minds, 9 p.m., CBS
Ghost Hunters, 9 p.m., Syfy
Harry's Law, 9 p.m., NBC
Modern Family, 9 p.m., ABC
MythBusters, 9 p.m., Discovery
Work of Art: The Next Great Artist, 9 p.m., Bravo
CSI, 10 p.m., CBS
Extreme Couponing, 10 & 10:30 p.m., TLC
Law & Order: SVU, 10 p.m., NBC
Psych, 10 p.m., USA
Revenge, 10 p.m., ABC
Real World, 10 p.m., MTV
Top Chef: Texas, 10 p.m., Bravo
Ultimate Fighter, 10 p.m., Spike
Whitechapel, 10 p.m., BBC America
Nick Swardson's Pretend Time, SEASON 2 FINALE, 10:30 p.m., Comedy Central
Blue Mountain State, 11 p.m., Spike

LATE-NITE PICKS:
Diane Keaton on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, 11 p.m., Comedy Central
Jerry Seinfeld & Lykke Li on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35 p.m., CBS
Kellan Lutz on Conan, 11 p.m., TBS
Martin Short & The Muppets on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:35 a.m., NBC
Michael Ian Black on Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS
Robin Williams & Maria Bello on Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:35 p.m., NBC
Tim Allen & Jackson Rathbone on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 12 a.m., ABC

 

What are you watching tonight?

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