What to Watch Tonight: How I Met Your Mother, Ashton Kutcher's Two and a Half Men Debut, and Castle

What to watch on Monday, September 19...

It's Monday, but that's not exactly the biggest tragedy in the world. I'm pretty sure the Hindenburg ranks above it. Also maybe the Vietnam War? You know something, I don't think the fact that today is Monday would even rank in the top ten of all-time tragedies. Top fifteen, maybe. Sure. Anyway, cheer up! Good things:

SEASON 7 PREMIERE, 8pm, CBS
How I Met Your Mother
Another season premiere, another tiny step toward finding out who the dang mother is. Anyway, at Barney's mystery wedding, Robin considers finally revealing her hidden feelings for him. Plus, the friends reminisce about Punchy's wedding as well as Marshall and Lily's pregnancy announcement. Welcome back, you buncha friendly friends.

SEASON 9 PREMIERE, 9pm, CBS
Two and a Half Men
First things first: Ashton Kutcher is an upgrade. Yeah, I said it. Tune in for the first of a two-part introduction to Kutcher's Walden Schmidt, brokenhearted billionaire. Here's hoping Two and Half Men can move past car-crash fascination and get back to doing what it does best: Telling dirty jokes to your mom.

ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 10pm, Comedy Central
The Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen
However, if you DO like car-crash entertainment, there's always this. In tonight's Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen, the titular maniac will be razzed and teased by the roasting industry's finest: Jeffrey Ross, Steve-O, Harvey Levin, and Mike Tyson (obviously).

SEASON 4 PREMIERE, 10pm, ABC
Castle
What the world needs now is a charming novelist crime fighter! Tonight picks up in the wake of last season's shocking finale and finds Castle investigating Beckett's shooting while she struggles to stay alive. Hang in there, girl!

SERIES PREMIERE, 9:30pm, CBS
2 Broke Girls
Kat Dennings plays Max, a cynical, foul-mouthed waitress who finds herself suddenly working alongside the disgraced heiress daughter of a Bernie Madoff-like figure. Will Max be super mean and snarky to the new girl, or will they eventually bond over their common poverty? I won't spoil it for you here. Sorry.

SERIES PREMIERE, 10pm, NBC
The Playboy Club
Do you like shows about Amber Heard dressed like a '60s-era Playboy Bunny who accidentally murders a Chicago mobster and seeks shelter from Eddie Cibrian? This show is A LOT like that.

SEASON 13 PREMIERE, 8pm, ABC
Dancing With the Stars
Who cares about the Chaz Bono nontroversy? Nancy Grace, you guys! NANCY GRACE. (Question: How many televisions do you think Jane Velez-Mitchell will shoot out during tonight's premiere?)



PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
Basketball Wives LA, 8 p.m., VH1
Eureka, SEASON 4 FINALE, 8 p.m., Syfy
Hell's Kitchen, SEASON 9 FINALE, 8 p.m., Fox
I'm Alive, 8 p.m., Animal Planet
Kathy Griffin's Emmys Aftermath, 8 p.m., TV Guide Channel
The Lying Game, 8 p.m., ABC Family
The Sing-Off, SEASON 3 PREMIERE, 8 p.m., NBC
American Pickers, 9 p.m., History
Bad Girls Club, 9 p.m., Oxygen
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, 9 p.m., Bravo
Tia & Tamera, 9 p.m., Style
Top Gear, 9 p.m., BBC America
Warehouse 13, 9 p.m., Syfy
Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory, 9:30 p.m., MTV
Alphas, 10 p.m., Syfy
Hair Battle Spectacular, 10 p.m., Oxygen
Hawaii Five-0, SEASON 2 PREMIERE, 10 p.m., CBS
Intervention, SEASON 11 FINALE, 10 p.m., A&E;
Pawn Stars, 10 & 10:30 p.m., History
Ridiculousness, 10 p.m., MTV
Weeds, 10 p.m., Showtime
Death Valley, 10:30 p.m., MTV
The Big C, 10:30 p.m., Showtime
Cuff'd, 11 p.m., MTV
The Protector, SERIES FINALE, 11 p.m., Lifetime
The Strange History of Don't Ask Don't Tell, ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 12 a.m., HBO



What are you watching tonight?

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Nancy Grace is despicable!!!!
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Lying Game, Castle, Eureka, Warehouse 13, Alpha's, Hawaii Five-0, The Protector
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Castle and HF-0

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Terra Nova, Two & a half Men, Mike & Molly, Hawaii Five-0.
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"Two & a Half Men" - only to see how they kill off Charlie, introduce Ashton, and "The Big Bang Theory" crossover! (I'm a huge BIG BANG fan. I never saw the hype for "Men" or even the worse, "Mike & Molly.")
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It's gonna be a packed Monday for me. CBS-exclusive.
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Weeds, Hawaii Five-O, The Playboy Club and Alphas
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HIMYM and Castle
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Alphas, Hell's Kitchen, Weeds,etc
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Eureka,Warehouse13,Alphas in that exact order on the same channel.
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i'll only watch 2 and a half men to see how they kill off sheen and how they introduce ashton. but i will watch sheen's roast
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alphas, castle and maybe the roast
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CASLTE!
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Gnarly! Fall TV's back! Of the NEW shows I'll watch "2 Broke Girls" cause I LOVE Kat Dennings & The Playboy Club (Let's see if it has a Mad Men's quality to it). Of the returning shows I'm gonna watch HIMYM, the new (Charlie-Free) Two And A Half Men, Castle & Hawaii Five-0 and from the summer shows that still are airing new episodes I'll watch Weeds & Alphas. Also I'll probably check out the Charlie Sheen roast =).
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fall is here, you know what that means.. overcrowded TV schedule! (with the exception of Wednesday and Sunday, those are pretty sparse in comparison) atleast the summer shows that are still left over will be ending soon.



How I Met Your Mother (x2), Eureka, Warehouse 13, Tia & Tamera, The Lying Game, 2 Broke Girls (i will check this out based soley on Kat Dennings), Castle, Hawaii Five-0, Alphas, The Playboy Club, Death Valley, The Big C



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2 Broke Girls and The Playboy Club. Love Amber Heard!
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HIMYM and Castle.
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Staff
Ummm. Alphas? And maybe Playboy Club for some chuckles!
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Football, Weeds, The Big C
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All of the above!!! MORE COOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFEEEEEEEEE wench!!!!!!!!
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Hawaii Five-0, Castle, HIMYM...sooo excited :)
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Warehouse 13, the lying game and eureka for me ;D
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Staff
Pawn Stars, The Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen and last night's Breaking Bad episode (for the second time).
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HIMYM, 2 Broke Girls, and most importantly Castle
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HIMYM, Castle, 2 Broke Girls, Eureka (this is their season finale, not series finale), Warehouse 13, Alphas, Weeds, Lying Game
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Staff
You are correct about Eureka, sorry about that!
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It's a CBS night for me!! The return of How I Met Your Mother and Hawaii Five-0. I'm also going to check out 2 Broke Girls and although I've never watched Two and a Half Men before I just may see what they do with it with Ashton Kutcher around. It should be a fun night. I'm glad my shows are back!!!
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The Playboy Club, Weeds and The Big C.
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eureka is having one more season this is still considered season 4
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Staff
We've fixed the error and will blame SyFy's "it's renewed!" "J/K it's canceled!" back-and-forth.
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Eureka, Warehouse 13, Alphas, 2 Broke Girls, and Hawaii 5-0.
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definetely two anda half men
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Hawaii Five 0 (OMG Locke and Jin together again!!), Two and a Half men and Playboy Club
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Castle <3

I missed it so. And The Lying Game :)
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i cannot wait for the hawaii five 0 premiere! and i cant decide whether to watch the lying game or how i met your mother at 7. probly HIMYM cause its the season premiere
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I'm really looking forward to Hawaii Five-O. I will not be tuning into Two And a Half Men.
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Eureka, might watch Kathy Griffin. After that, nothing.
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@hpfan06: same here; I gave up on finding out who the mother is, I just love the characters (especially Barney and Lily) and that's why I'm still a big fan of the show ;)
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Holy frack oO I'm drowning in TV shows tonight. Seriously, there are just too many shows for one person to watch... guess that's why my friends call me a TV junkie? Anyway, here's what I'll be watching: Eureka, Warehouse 13, Alphas, How I Met Your Mother, Castle, Hawaii Five-0 and The Protector. I'll probably check out 2 Broke Girls and The Playboy Club. And I still haven't decided whether I should watch the "new" Two And A Half Men now or wait for it's german debut and watch it with my family.
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Two & A Half Men and Castle. I might give Playboy Club a shot.
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So many things I have to watch and Tivoing. I will be watching HIMYM, Two and Half Men, Two Broke Girls and Castle. Will be Tivoing Eureka, Warehouse 13, Alphas, and Hawaii Five-0.
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How I Met Your Mother, Castle, The Lying Game, The Playboy Club and Hawaii Five-0

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For How I Met Your Mother, I don't really even care who the mother is - I watch it simply because it's a great show.
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The season premieres of How I Met Your Mother, Two and a Half Men, Castle, and Hawaii Five-0. Also, Alphas. Oh, and probably clips of the Sheen roast.
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Castle, Alphas, The Lying Game and maybe, but probably not, The Playboy Club
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Castle, Pawn Stars and the Roast.
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really??!! its Season Finale for Eureka, not Series finale! why would u want to crush our (already) broken hearts?
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Staff
We spoke too soon! Tonight is Eureka's Season 4 finale. Sorry about that!
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HIMYM, Charlie Sheen Roast and Death Valley....might check out Two and a Half Men out of pure curiousity.
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Eureka is still got one more season. season 5 just finished taping. but it will not be back for season 6 this is the season 4 finale
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Castle, Hawaii 5-0, Alphas, Kathy Griffin's Emmys Aftermath,
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Wow - looking at my DVR's future schedule of current favorites plus checking out new shows, I'll need to break my leg (or two) to sit around long enough to catch up. Tonight: Eureka, Warehouse 13, Alphas, MAD, maybe Kathy Griffin.
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Castle, The Big C and The Lying Game. And got to watch the first episodes of 2 Broke Girls and The Playboy Club to see how they are. (Thinking about the 2011 Dead Pool, of course!)
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