What to Watch Tonight: How I Met Your Mother, Eureka, and Gossip Girl

What to watch on Monday, April 16...

TV watchers, tonight's cornucopia spilleth over:

8pm, CBS
How I Met Your Mother
In the ominously titled "Now We're Even," Barney decides that the boys need a full week of bros-about-town evenings. Meanwhile, Lily finds herself weirded out when she has a sexy dream about someone who is NOT Marshall. And Robin, lovely Robin, she'll experience a new high point in her career. Gotta love these non-devastating episodes. (Hopefully.)

Eureka fans are in for a treat as one of Syfy's weirdest dramas returns tonight for its fifth and final season. In "Lost," the Astraeus gang returns to Eureka, but it's been four years and tons of stuff has changed. For instance, Deputy Andy is jerkier than ever!

9pm, Fox
A man bleeds from his eyes, no big deal. Meanwhile, House is sad to hear that his favorite hooker Emily is retiring from the biz in order to get married, so he enlists Dominika to break them up. Wait, what show IS this anymore?

8pm, CW
Gossip Girl
Life is hard, but especially for wealthy playboys and playgirls. Tonight Blair and Dan must endure the necessary awkwardness when they finally "come out" as a couple. Plus Lola scores an audition for a role she really wants; Lily and Rufus find themselves at odds over how to handle Ivy; plus Serena and Diana confront each other over certain secrets they don't want getting out. See what I'm saying? "Is it Friday yet?" -wealthy playboys and playgirls.

9:30pm, CBS
Mike & Molly
This is either sad or funny, but in "The Dress," Molly discovers that her wedding dress has suddenly become too tight and the big day is only 3 weeks away! (Sigh.) #pray4melissa

10pm, NBC
Tonight Karen and Ivy mobilize against a common enemy, movie star Rebecca Duvall. Elsewhere, Tom and Sam enjoy some quality time together, and Julia and Frank must deal with a family matter, obviously. "Smash'd!" -Steven Spielberg.

Antiques Roadshow, 8 p.m., PBS
Basketball Wives, 8 p.m., VH1
Bones, 8 p.m., Fox
Dancing with the Stars, 8 p.m., ABC
The Secret Life of the American Teenager, 8 p.m., ABC Family
The Voice, 8 p.m., NBC
Top Gear (U.K.), SEASON 18 PREMIERE, 8 p.m., BBC America
2 Broke Girls, 8:30 p.m., CBS
American Pickers, 9 p.m., History
Biography: Warren Jeffs, 9 p.m., Biography
Hart of Dixie, 9 p.m., CW
Make It or Break It, 9 p.m., ABC Family
Two and a Half Men, 9 p.m., CBS
Where Are They Now: Full House, ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 9 p.m., TV Guide Channel
Bethenny Ever After, 10 p.m., Bravo
Castle, 10 p.m., ABC
Killer Kids, 10 p.m., Biography
Lost Girl, 10 p.m., Syfy
Mama's Boys of the Bronx, 10 p.m., TLC
Pawn Stars, 10 p.m., History
Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory, 10 p.m., MTV
The Bad Girls Club, 10 p.m., Oxygen

Kathy Griffin on Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS
Shannen Doherty on Chelsea Lately, 11 p.m., E!
Taraji P. Henson on The Wendy Williams Show, 12 a.m., BET

What are you watching tonight?

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