What to Watch Tonight: Modern Family, Revenge, and CSI's Season Finale

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What to watch on Wednesday, May 9...

Like the glassy-eyed elegants in the above Revenge still, we toast to Wednesday! Sure there's still a ton of work left to do (hence the eyes) but we're halfway there so it's all downhill now! When you finally put down that fizzy flute, here are tonight's primetime offerings:

9pm, ABC
Modern Family
Corporate synergy alert! Tonight the Pritchett clan visits a certain amusement park ALSO owned by ABC's parent company. (I won't name names.) Anyway, at—let's just call it "one of the happiest places on the planet"—Phil has trouble keeping up with Luke; Jay and Gloria bicker over footwear; and Mitchell and Cameron deal with Lily's new fondness for running everywhere all the time. Okay, it's Disneyland.

9pm, CBS
Criminal Minds
Tonight's Criminal Minds, "Profiling 101," promises to be slightly more educational than usual as Rossi and his posse (Rosse?) teach a college course on criminal profiling by taking the class through an old case in which a serial killer operated for over 20 years. Bring your notebooks and a positive mental attitude!

10pm, ABC
Revenge
Whoops, it's flashback time! In "Legacy," we'll check in with some characters way back in 2002, specifically Amanda before she became Emily. Watch as Nolan urges her to transform herself into a vengeance-bot! But especially tune in to find out what Nolan's hair looked like back then. I'm guessing flat-top fade.

SERIES PREMIERE, 10pm, Bravo
Around the World in 80 Plates
Widely liked and/or feared former Iron Chef Cat Cora hosts this new game show in which twelve chefs compete in an Amazing Race-meets-Top Chef adventure around the globe during which they'll be eliminated one by one. Tonight's destination? Ye Olde Londontowne! (London.)

SEASON 12 FINALE, 10pm, CBS
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
CSI's twelfth (!) season crosses the finish line tonight with "Homecoming," in which the gang investigates three related murders that occur in the vicinity of a campaign fundraiser. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Get 'em, Danson.

PLUS ALL NEW EPISODES OF...
American Idol, 8 p.m., Fox
Betty White's Off Their Rockers, 8 p.m., NBC
Survivor: One World, 8 p.m., CBS
The Middle, 8 p.m., ABC
Suburgatory, 8:30 p.m., ABC
America's Next Top Model: British Invasion, 9 p.m., CW
American Guns, 9 p.m., Discovery
Ghost Hunters, 9 p.m., Syfy
I (Almost) Got Away With It, 9 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Interior Therapy with Jeff Lewis, 9 p.m., Bravo
Rock Center with Brian Williams, 9 p.m., NBC
Dog the Bounty Hunter, 9:30 p.m., A&E;
Don't Trust the B--- in Apartment 23, 9:30 p.m., ABC
America's Best Dance Crew, 10 p.m., MTV
Brave New World with Stephen Hawking, 10 p.m., Science
Duck Dynasty, 10 p.m., A&E;
Hot in Cleveland, 10 p.m., TV Land
Law & Order: SVU, 10 p.m., NBC
The Soup, 10 p.m., E!
Toddlers & Tiaras, 10 p.m., TLC
Total Blackout, 10 p.m., Syfy
Happily Divorced, 10:30 p.m., TV Land
Sold!, 11 p.m., History

LATE-NITE PICKS:
Anna Wintour on Colbert Report, 11:30 p.m., Comedy Central
Chloe Moretz on Last Call with Carson Daly, 1:36 a.m., NBC
Eva Longoria on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35 p.m., CBS
Garry Shandling & Alison Brie on Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:34 p.m., NBC
Howard Stern & Brooklyn Decker on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:37 a.m., NBC
Ian Somerhalder on Chelsea Lately, 11 p.m., E!
Jenna Fischer on Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS
Jennifer Love Hewitt on The Wendy Williams Show, 12 a.m., BET
Joel McHale & Nina Dobrev on Conan, 11 p.m., TBS
Rita Wilson on Watch What Happens: Live, 11 p.m., Bravo
Steve Harvey on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 12 a.m., ABC

 

What are you watching tonight?