What to watch on Tuesday, April 3...
If you'll be leading a double life today—yours, plus the occasional impersonation of your long-lost identical twin—then hopefully at least one of you will be able to take a break from the double-crossing, blackmail, and deceit long enough to watch some TV tonight. You (or they) deserve it!
"Secrets" continues the season's best plotline—Schmidt and Cece's clandestine love affair—by creating problems for two other characters: First Winston struggles with being the only person who has knowledge of their relationship, then Jess and Cece have a falling-out over Cece's secrecy. Drama! Also at some point Nick turns to Schmidt for dating advice.
Tonight Raylan closes in on Quarles! But, you know, Quarles is Quarles. Good luck, Raylan. In other news, Boyd and Dickie Bennett team up in order to try and recover Mags' fortune. Sorry, but that's just straight-up heartwarming.
SERIES PREMIERE, 11pm, MTV
Newspaper columnist Dan Savage might be better known these days for spearheading an anti-suicide crusade for bullied gay teens, but we longtime fans know his real talents lie in raunchy, no-nonsense sex advice. Savage U is his new MTV series in which he visits college campuses and gives advice to real students. Who knows, if it's halfway as entertaining and informative as his column Savage Love, this thing could be pretty great.
10pm, Comedy Central
Tonight's collection of highly cringe-worthy internet videos and Daniel Tosh one-liners will also explore what exactly went down at a recent Tosh.0 Memorabilia auction and what Tosh did with the money. (Spoiler: He bought an engagement ring for YOOOOUUUUU.)
SEASON 2 FINALE, 9pm, Lifetime
SERIES PREMIERE, 10:30pm, Lifetime
Dance Moms: Miami
Out with the old [awful], in with the new [awful]! That's right, tonight Abby Lee Miller will bellow one last time before retiring to her dank cubbyhole for her summer hibernation. Not to worry! Taking her place will be the two presumably monstrous dance instructors of Dance Moms: Miami. It's not clear yet how exactly they'll contribute to the downfall of society, so isn't that reason enough to tune in?
PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
Last Man Standing, 8 p.m., ABC
Raising Hope, 8 p.m., Fox
The Biggest Loser, 8 p.m., NBC
Cougar Town, 8:30 p.m., ABC
Dancing with the Stars, 9 p.m., ABC
Deadliest Catch, HIGHLIGHTS SPECIAL, 9 p.m., Discovery
Ringer, 9 p.m., CW
The Real Housewives of Orange County, 9 p.m., Bravo
The Voice, 9 p.m., NBC
Breaking In, 9:30 p.m., Fox
16 and Pregnant, 10 p.m., MTV
Body of Proof, 10 p.m., ABC
Chopped, 10 p.m., Food Network
Fashion Star, 10 p.m., NBC
Storage Wars Texas, 10 p.m., A&E;
Tabatha Takes Over, SEASON 4 FINALE, 10 p.m., Bravo
The Game, 10 p.m., BET
The Little Couple, 10 p.m., TLC
Top Shot, 10 p.m., History
Let's Stay Together, 10:30 p.m., BET
Chris Elliott & Mike Tyson on Conan, 11 p.m., TBS
Edie Falco on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 12 a.m., ABC
Maya Rudolph & Jason Biggs on Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:35 p.m., NBC
Regis Philbin & Rachel Dratch on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:37 a.m, NBC
Seth Meyers on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35 p.m., CBS
Ted Danson & Hannah Simone on Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS
What are you watching tonight?