What to Watch Tonight: New Girl, Justified, and MTV's Savage U


What to watch on Tuesday, April 3...

If you'll be leading a double life today—yours, plus the occasional impersonation of your long-lost identical twin—then hopefully at least one of you will be able to take a break from the double-crossing, blackmail, and deceit long enough to watch some TV tonight. You (or they) deserve it!

9pm, Fox
New Girl
"Secrets" continues the season's best plotline—Schmidt and Cece's clandestine love affair—by creating problems for two other characters: First Winston struggles with being the only person who has knowledge of their relationship, then Jess and Cece have a falling-out over Cece's secrecy. Drama! Also at some point Nick turns to Schmidt for dating advice.

10pm, FX
Justified
Tonight Raylan closes in on Quarles! But, you know, Quarles is Quarles. Good luck, Raylan. In other news, Boyd and Dickie Bennett team up in order to try and recover Mags' fortune. Sorry, but that's just straight-up heartwarming.

SERIES PREMIERE, 11pm, MTV
Savage U
Newspaper columnist Dan Savage might be better known these days for spearheading an anti-suicide crusade for bullied gay teens, but we longtime fans know his real talents lie in raunchy, no-nonsense sex advice. Savage U is his new MTV series in which he visits college campuses and gives advice to real students. Who knows, if it's halfway as entertaining and informative as his column Savage Love, this thing could be pretty great.

10pm, Comedy Central
Tosh.0
Tonight's collection of highly cringe-worthy internet videos and Daniel Tosh one-liners will also explore what exactly went down at a recent Tosh.0 Memorabilia auction and what Tosh did with the money. (Spoiler: He bought an engagement ring for YOOOOUUUUU.)

SEASON 2 FINALE, 9pm, Lifetime
Dance Moms
SERIES PREMIERE, 10:30pm, Lifetime
Dance Moms: Miami
Out with the old [awful], in with the new [awful]! That's right, tonight Abby Lee Miller will bellow one last time before retiring to her dank cubbyhole for her summer hibernation. Not to worry! Taking her place will be the two presumably monstrous dance instructors of Dance Moms: Miami. It's not clear yet how exactly they'll contribute to the downfall of society, so isn't that reason enough to tune in?

PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...
Last Man Standing, 8 p.m., ABC
Raising Hope, 8 p.m., Fox
The Biggest Loser, 8 p.m., NBC
Cougar Town, 8:30 p.m., ABC
Dancing with the Stars, 9 p.m., ABC
Deadliest Catch, HIGHLIGHTS SPECIAL, 9 p.m., Discovery
Ringer, 9 p.m., CW
The Real Housewives of Orange County, 9 p.m., Bravo
The Voice, 9 p.m., NBC
Breaking In, 9:30 p.m., Fox
16 and Pregnant, 10 p.m., MTV
Body of Proof, 10 p.m., ABC
Chopped, 10 p.m., Food Network
Fashion Star, 10 p.m., NBC
Storage Wars Texas, 10 p.m., A&E;
Tabatha Takes Over, SEASON 4 FINALE, 10 p.m., Bravo
The Game, 10 p.m., BET
The Little Couple, 10 p.m., TLC
Top Shot, 10 p.m., History
Let's Stay Together, 10:30 p.m., BET

LATE-NITE PICKS:
Chris Elliott & Mike Tyson on Conan, 11 p.m., TBS
Edie Falco on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 12 a.m., ABC
Maya Rudolph & Jason Biggs on Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:35 p.m., NBC
Regis Philbin & Rachel Dratch on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:37 a.m, NBC
Seth Meyers on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35 p.m., CBS
Ted Danson & Hannah Simone on Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS

 

What are you watching tonight?

Comments (36)
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Second week in a row there has been Cougar Town lies. :-(
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Justified and Body of Proof
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Ringer & Body of Proof, seem to be the only thing to watch tonight.
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Justified, and it bums me a little that it's just about burned through another season.
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Justified
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Raising Hope, New Girl, Breaking In, JUSTIFIED
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New Girl.
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My guide says two hours of Dancing With The Stars and then Body of Proof. Are you sure Last Man Standing and Cougar Town are on?
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Yes me too, it was set to record on my dvr but it has been bumped. This is streets behind!
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Same here.
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Top Gear US (not sure why this is NEVER included, but it's new content even if it is a pale shadow of the original. For goodness sake, you have the show that comes on DIRECTLY AFTER IT listed, so it's not channel-bias!), Cougar Town, Justified, Tosh.0, Craig Ferguson (!!!).
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ringer
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cougar town, new girl, even though cece is hot as f*"k i cant stop lookin at her wonky eye!!
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Body Of Proof & Deadliest Catch
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Oh, and of course, NCIS - duh!
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NCIS is a rerun this week.
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Cougar Town and Body of Proof.
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tosh.0

cougar town

conan
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New Girl, Cougar Town
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Raising Hope, New Girl, Breaking In and Cougar Town.
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New Girl & Raising Hope
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body of proof
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New Girl, Breaking In, Justified, and TLLS.
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New girl and justified.
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Okay, that's just getting excessive. Now you need some heuristics. There's a bunch of ".com"s and a couple of $ and too many carriage returns for the amount of content, nevermind all the keywords like cash and internet and house and ex-wife and even the sentence pattern. This is easily recognized as spam and filtered, even assuming you don't just use stock anti-spam software and have to write it from scratch.
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New Girl, Cougar Town, Ringer, Breaking In.
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New girl , Last man standing , Raising hope , Ringer , Body of proof
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Raising Hope, Ringer, Tosh.0 and Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness.
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Raising Hope, Cougar Town, New Girl, The Game, Tosh.0, Maya Rudolph and Jason Biggs on Leno, Seth Meyers on Letterman, Rachel Dratch on Jimmy Fallon



also looking up who went home on The Voice because I won't sit through an hour of that when it easily could be less than 10 minutes
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new girl
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Ringer
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Breaking In, Flashpoint reruns, NCIS, NCIS: LA, maybe Justified...
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New Girl, Last Man Standing, Raising Hope, Cougar Town, Breaking In.
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Ringer

Body of Proof



And, I finally managed to track down a copy of "Seattle Superstorm" that was on Saturday.
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New Girl, Raising Hope.
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Yey, Cougar Town is back. Raising Hope, Cougar Town, New Girl, Justified
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