What to watch on Thursday, January 3...
At press time, no emergency injunction had yet arrived from the White House or the United Nations or the Justice League or anybody, so as far as I can tell Fox will be airing two more episodes of Howie Mandel’s Heartwarming Flash Mob Shenanigans™ tonight. The first installment features a woman issuing a marriage-proposal ultimatum; the second centers on a pregnancy announcement.
NOTABLE REPEAT, 8pm, The CW
The Vampire Diaries
The mid-season finale, “O Come, All Ye Faithful,” feinted toward redeeming Klaus before restoring him as a proper villain with two devastating blows straight to Tyler’s heart. Relive the Mystic Falls winter celebration, as well as Jeremy’s amazingly effective “Body By Supernatural Forces” wood-chopping workout video.
Person of Interest
Finch goes undercover as a high school teacher—go ahead and get your Sideways-Universe-Ben-Linus jokes out of the way now, I’ll wait—and must protect a young brainiac who reminds him of himself in “2’pi’R.” Meanwhile, the FBI hands Carter a dangerous assignment, one that probably doesn’t involve calculating the circumference of a circle.
With their time together almost up, Sherlock offers Joan an apprenticeship. Thankfully this show is not on NBC, so she probably won’t have to best Gary Busey or Meat Loaf in a street marketing task for Hershey’s Quick in order to win said apprenticeship. Meanwhile, the duo investigates the murder of a Manhattan hotel manager whose body was stuffed in an industrial laundry machine.
NOTABLE REPEATS, 9pm & 10pm, ABC
Two back-to-back repeats, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President” and “Blown Away,” let you catch up on the events that went down just before the mid-season break. Fitz is convalescing, Olivia’s working her magic in the White House, and former Gilmore Girls supporting actresses are dropping like flies.
NOTABLE REPEAT, 9:30pm, NBC
Parks and Recreation
Ben’s parents visit in the appropriately titled “Ben’s Parents,” and Wyatt Père is none other than Breaking Bad’s Jonathan Banks. If you missed the squaring-off of Ron Swanson and Mike Ehrmantraut when this episode first aired in November, tonight’s your chance to rectify that grievous error.
SERIES PREMIERE, 10pm, MTV
The Appalachian answer to Jersey Shore, which it feels like MTV has been promoting/warning us about for months now, kicks off with an episode called “F. the Neighborhood; Dump Truck Pool Party.” It sees the gang of presumably fun-loving West Virginians throwing a party which leads to a confrontation with a neighbor. You may begin popping your monocles.
– Gerard Butler, Anne Hathaway, and Pitbull on Chelsea Lately, 11pm, E!
– Arnold Schwarzenegger, Austin “Chumlee” Russell and Rick Harrison, and Ziggy Marley on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:35pm, NBC
– Regis Philbin and Zedd on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35 am, CBS
– John Krasinski, Mike Birbiglia, and Atlas Genius on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 12am, ABC
– Michael Bloomberg, NeNe Leakes, and T.I. on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:37am, NBC
WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING TONIGHT?