What to Watch Tonight: Survivor, Modern Family, and Up All Night

What to watch on Wednesday, November 2...

If you're anything like me, you're probably rollerblades-deep in a tar pit. But also if you're anything like me you can occasionally watch TV on your phone. Because check out what's on!

8pm, CBS
Survivor: South Pacific
In last week's sensational, weirdly religious, and highly rated episode, Ozzy decided to send himself to Redemption Island in order to maintain his tribe's numbers going into a highly theoretical impending merge. Basically, it was GREAT TV. Tune in tonight to see whether this action was a genius move or an enormous blunder.

8pm, NBC
Up All Night
Tonight we'll meet Reagan's parents (Blythe Danner and Richard Schiff) when she decides that her strained relationship with them isn't setting a good example for Amy. Also, Ava deals with the death of a staff member... poorly.

10pm, FX
American Horror Story
In second part of last week's terrific Halloween episode, we'll finally learn more about Tate's background, plus Vivien and Ben will deal with the bossy, occasionally screechy ghost who Ben knocked up that one time.

9pm, ABC
Modern Family
Jennifer Tilly alert!! Tonight probably the hottest and funniest 50-something starlet in Hollywood guest-stars as Chazz Palminteri's frisky girlfriend when the duo attends salsa night with Jay and Gloria. Elsewhere, Cameron makes a bet that he can successfully get a certain woman's digits.

10pm, ABC
Although it's charming that the Graysons believe their anniversary dinner will be a quiet, low-key affair, it's not giving much away to say that it definitely WON'T be. Also, Frank attempts to win Victoria's affections by digging up dirt on Emily. Oh, Frank.

SEASON 9 PREMIERE, 10pm, Bravo
Top Chef: Texas
If you enjoy BBQ with complicated flavor palettes as well as lax gun laws, then this is the season of Top Chef for you! In tonight's Season 9 premiere, 29 hopeful chefs arrive in Austin, TX, but only 16 will continue on in the competition. Just give it some heat, you guys!

The Middle, 8 p.m., ABC
The X Factor, 8 p.m., Fox
Suburgatory, 8:30 p.m., ABC
America's Next Top Model, 9 p.m., CW
Criminal Minds, 9 p.m., CBS
Ghost Hunters, 9 p.m., Syfy
Harry's Law, 9 p.m., NBC
Law & Order: UK, 9 p.m., BBC America
MythBusters, 9 p.m., Discovery
Work of Art: The Next Great Artist, 9 p.m., Bravo
Happy Endings, 9:30 p.m., ABC
CSI, 10 p.m., CBS
Extreme Couponing, 10 & 10:30 p.m., TLC
Law & Order: SVU, 10 p.m., NBC
Penn & Teller Tell a Lie, 10 p.m., Discovery
Psych, 10 p.m., USA
South Park, 10 p.m., Comedy Central
Steve Jobs: One Last Thing
Real World, 10 p.m., MTV
Ultimate Fighter, 10 p.m., Spike
Whitechapel, 10 p.m., BBC America
Nick Swardson's Pretend Time, 10:30 p.m., Comedy Central
Blue Mountain State, 11 p.m., Spike

Amy Sedaris & Condoleezza Rice on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35 p.m., CBS
Ellen DeGeneres & Gabourey Sidibe on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 12 a.m., ABC
Matthew Broderick & Paul Simon on Conan, 11 p.m., TBS
Stephen Dorff on Chelsea Lately, 11 p.m., E!
Taraji P. Henson on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:35 a.m., NBC
Taraji P. Henson on The Wendy Williams Show, 12 a.m., BET
Taylor Lautner & Martha Stewart on Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:35 p.m., NBC
Ted Danson on Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS
Tom Brokaw on Daily Show with Jon Stewart, 11 p.m., Comedy Central


What are you watching tonight?

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