What to watch on Tuesday, May 21...
The Bachelor’s Funniest Moments
A compilation of clips from the last 25 seasons of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, because if there’s one thing you dear readers love more than reality show competitions, it’s blooper reels from reality show competitions. To give you a sample of the rib-tickling tomfoolery to come, here are some words and phrases from the press release: “throws up,” “unintended nudity,” “floods of tears,” “embalming.”
So You Think You Can Dance
The search for the boogie-downest boogier in all the land continues in round two of auditions. Recommended for viewers who prefer their Tuesday-at-8pm reality shows with less vomit and formaldehyde.
SEASON 16 FINALE, 9pm, ABC
Dancing With The Stars
The season’s full celebrity cast returns for an opening number. Then the final four competing pairs strut their respective stuff until a winner is chosen, or until the the sheer power of dance generates enough parakinesthetic energy to open a portal through the very fabric of space and time. Whichever comes first.
Constitution USA With Peter Sagal
“Created Equal” examines the 14th Amendment—easily one of the top three amendments ratified between 1865 and 1870—and how it has been applied to issues such as marriage equality, voting rights, affirmative action, and immigration reform. Recommended if you like: privileges and immunities, equal protection, due process.
9pm, Animal Planet
Man-Eating Super Squid
Revel in tales of the mythical aquatic monster known as the kraken, and wonder just how hard the folks at Syfy are kicking themselves that they lost the rights to this title in a poker game last weekend. Recommended if you like: sea creatures, Scandinavian folklore, gigantic honkin’ killer sea creatures.
SEASON 2 FINALE, 10pm, NBC
A spate of attacks across Portland has Nick, Monroe, and Rosalee scrambling to keep the peace in “Goodnight, Sweet Grimm.” As they combat the latest undead menace, Capt. Renard welcomes his visiting brother (James Frain) and Adalind finds herself but a pawn in Stefania and Frau Pech’s games.
SEASON 6 FINALE, 10pm, BET
Blue is thrown for an emotional loop after discovering something new about Kira. Elsewhere in “The Pre-season Game Episode,” cheating allegations trigger a colossal set-to.
Homecoming pins, which I’m going to assume are a thing that the kids today do in real life and not just on basic cable, are blooming throughout the halls in “Guilt Trippin’.” Yet much like early-'90s Genesis, Matty can’t dance. Can Jake teach him a few snazzy steps in time for the big night?
10:30pm, Comedy Central
Inside Amy Schumer
Fright triggers flatulence for Amy in “The Horror,” which also introduces her to a gentleman suitor after she gets an unflattering new ‘do. Later, Amy locks lips with Amber Tamblyn; if there’s a storyline to go along with that, whoever wrote the logline was obviously too distracted to notice.
SEASON 3 FINALE, 10:30pm & 11pm, BET
Let’s Stay Together
At 10:30pm, Kita frets that Troy will be run off by her eccentric old man, though if the episode title “Kita’s Got a Gun” is to be believed, dad may not be the intimidating one. Then at 11pm, “Babies, Blindness, and Bling” finds Jamal going to work with Charles and temporarily losing his sight as a result, while Crystal and Rashad are caught mid-smoochies.
– Ed Helms, Alice Eve, and the cast of Workaholics on Conan, 11pm, TBS
– Tyrese Gibson on Chelsea Lately, 11pm, E!
– Phil Jackson on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, 11pm, Comedy Central
– Author Noah Feldman on The Colbert Report, 11:30pm, Comedy Central
– Eric Stonestreet, Jeremy Wade, and Thompson Square on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:35pm, NBC
– Piedmont Bird Callers, Jason Bateman, and John Fogerty on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35pm, CBS
– Ethan Hawke, Bachelorette Desiree Hartsock, and 30 Seconds to Mars on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 11:35pm, ABC
– Aziz Ansari, Gillian Anderson, J. Cole, and PJ Morton on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:37am, NBC
– Zach Galifianakis and Andrea Riseborough on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37am, CBS