What to Watch Tonight: The River, New Girl, and White Collar

What to watch on Tuesday, February 7...

To celebrate tonight's big ABC premiere, why not set up a tent in your living room, spray everything with a garden hose, loosen your pet snakes, and invite over the tallest lady you know?! Let's get Amazonian up in here!

The River
From executive producer Steven Spielberg (who now produces EVERYTHING) and the writer/director of Paranormal Activity comes this found-footage horror series set on the Amazon river. In the first hour of tonight's premiere, a nature host goes missing and his wife and grown son attempt to find him (along with a camera crew of their own). A second episode follows in which the crew deals with a different but equally horrifying threat. (NOT Montezuma's Revenge, you guys, come on grow up.)

9pm, Fox
New Girl
When Jess sets out to befriend the building's cranky landlord, it nearly jeopardizes her living situation. Meanwhile Schmidt begins to suspect that his lady boss (and also everyone else he encounters) is flirting with him.

10pm, USA
White Collar
Seems like she's been gone forever, but tonight Sara returns to team up with Neal in recovering a stolen Stradivarius. Hopefully they can get through the mission without stopping to stare at each other every few minutes.

10pm, FX
Two of Raylan's old nemeses make a jailbreak and it's up to Raylan to bring them down. Meanwhile in Boyd news, he'll attempt to flush out a traitor in his inner circle. To be fair, the expulsion will be justified.

10pm, TNT
Tonight more of Tang's backstory is brought to light when she reaches out to a homeless veteran. Meanwhile Sammy attempts to mend a dog he accidentally shot, plus Lydia and Ruben look into the slaying of a good Samaritan. [Sadface emoticon]

9pm, CW
Just wanted to bring to your attention that tonight's episode of Ringer is entitled "What Are You Doing Here, Ho-Bag?" For real. It concerns the arrival of Juliet's mother and also various characters continuing to close in on Siobhan. But really I'm only recommending this show based on the episode title because GREAT TITLE.

90210, 8 p.m., CW
Glee, 8 p.m., Fox
Growing Up Hollywood, ORIGINAL SPECIAL, 8 p.m., E!
Last Man Standing, 8 p.m., ABC
NCIS, 8 p.m., CBS
Switched at Birth, 8 p.m., ABC Family
The Biggest Loser, 8 p.m., NBC
Dance Moms, 9 p.m., Lifetime
Dirty Jobs, 9 p.m., Discovery
Jane by Design, 9 p.m., ABC Family
Joan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best?, 9 p.m., WE
NCIS: Los Angeles, 9 p.m., CBS
Shipping Wars, 9 p.m., A&E;
The Real Housewives of Orange County, SEASON 7 PREMIERE, 9 p.m., Bravo
Raising Hope, 9:30 p.m., Fox
Chopped, 10 p.m., Food Network
Ink Master, 10 p.m., Spike
Parenthood, 10 p.m., NBC
Teen Mom 2, 10 p.m., MTV
The Game, 10 p.m., BET
Tosh.0, 10 p.m., Comedy Central
Undercover Princes, 10 p.m., TLC
Unforgettable, 10 p.m., CBS
Key & Peele, 10:30 p.m., Comedy Central
Let's Stay Together, 11 p.m., BET

Blake Shelton on Last Call with Carson Daly, 1:35 a.m., NBC
Chelsea Handler on Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:35 p.m., NBC
Denzel Washington on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35 p.m., CBS
Joan Rivers on The Wendy Williams Show, 12 a.m., BET
Kellan Lutz, Jon Glaser and The Cranberries on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:25 a.m., NBC
Kelly Rowland on Chelsea Lately, 11 p.m, E!
Kenneth Branaugh on Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS
Michelle Williams and Damon Wayans Jr. on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 12 a.m., ABC


What are you watching tonight?

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