What to watch on Wednesday, May 15...
“The Ditch” of this episode’s title may refer to the narrow terrain depression into which Mike crashes the fishing boat he’s towing. Or it may refer to Axl’s attempt to talk Sue into nipping her perfect school attendance streak in the bud. Or it may even refer to the hole Frankie digs herself while allowing people to think she’s a doctor just for the social perks. There are many layers of interpretation in these 22 minutes, you guys.
SEASON 1 FINALE, 8pm, The CW
In “Sacrifice,” the Dark Archer is ready to lay waste The Glades with his diabolical earthquake machine, after spending all week honing the perfect “get ready to rumble” one-liner in accordance with supervillain by-laws. Can the Emerald Archer stop him in time? Will Thea’s search for Roy place her right in the danger zone? How many more libidinous Freudian slips will Felicity utter before the season wraps up?
SEASON 8 FINALE, 9pm, The CW
In “Sacrifice,” the brothers must... oh. Oh my. Quelle embarrassment. Supernatural and Arrow wore the same episode title to the big season-finale dance. Well, Sam and Dean, you just go about thwarting Crowley’s plan to cancel out your whole careers as hunters, and we’ll all try and pretend this little faux pas never happened, 'kay?
The Modern Family Stock Sitcom Plot Generator 8000 cranks out “Phil buys an RV” in “Games People Play.” Claire thinks it’s a terrible idea because Claire, but I would be quite happy if this led to a spinoff where Phil, Luke, and, what the hell, Fred Willard just went toolin’ around the U.S. of A. in an RV getting into zany adventures. Meanwhile, Lily’s gymnastics meet lights a competitive spark in Mitch and Cam.
Law & Order: SVU
An injured and unconscious woman washes up in a river near the mayor’s residence in “Brief Interlude.” The squad’s investigation reveals her to be an apparently ordinary woman harboring a secret love of debauchery, which is of course the quickest way to wind up comatose after a Gracie Mansion kegger in the SVUverse.
A journalist’s tour of the factory exposes questions about the wage gap between male and female workers. Hah, boy, society sure was backwards about stuff like that seven decades ago, huh? Thank goodness we don’t have problems like that anym... um. Hm. Anyway, “Something Fierce” also sees Kate considering an unorthodox opportunity to boost her singing career, while a run-in with Clifford gives Gladys a new perspective.
SEASON 13 FINALE, CBS
A journalist follows the team’s investigation of a serial killer inspired by Dante’s Inferno as “Skin in the Game” concludes the 13th season. Keeping with the whole demonic-influence aspect, heavy metal godfathers/corrupters of 1970s youth Black Sabbath will debut a new single from their latest album, 13, in this episode. Which airs in 2013. Wait, is three 13s Satanic? Will everyone who watches this episode warp into minions of Lucifer? Tune in to find out!
Good news, everyone! Now that Voight has paid his debt to society and assumed command of the Intelligence Unit, he’s surely redeemed his once-crooked ways! Especially since he’ll be getting his very own spinoff in Chicago PD soon! Ehh whaaaaaa? Still a dick, you say? And now Casey must work with Voight and his team in “Let Her Go”? Bad news, everyone!
What manner of comically outlandish garb might one don when going undercover as a radio personality? We may find out in “Dead Air,” in which Shawn and Gus track the killer of their favorite DJ. Personally, I’m expecting an homage to Dr. Johnny Fever and Venus Flytrap from WKRP in Cincinnati.
– Zach Galifianakis, Jim Gaffigan, and Beware of Darkness on Conan, 11pm, TBS
– Zacarhy Quinto on Chelsea Lately, 11pm, E!
– Former Sen. Olympia Snowe on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, 11pm, Comedy Central
– Cyndi Lauper on The Colbert Report, 11:30pm, Comedy Central
– Usher, Nick Offerman, and Pyramids on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:35pm, NBC
– Ed Helms, Hoda Kotb, and Brad Paisley on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35pm, CBS
– Jason and Jarron Collins, J.J. Abrams, and Huey Lewis and the News on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 11:35pm, ABC
– Julie Bowen, Demi Lovato, The Flaming Lips, and Treach on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:37am, NBC
– Ice T and Paula Poundstone on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37am, CBS