What to watch on Thursday, March 22...
Turn off your front porch light, close your vertical blinds, and take your phone off the hook (is that still a thing people do?), because it's Thursday and you know what that means: Good TV!
Tonight the gang find Jeff even more narcissistic than usual after he goes on anti-anxiety medication and sees a good shrink. Unacceptable! Meanwhile Abed attempts to pay off his debt incurred by his celebrity-impersonation hobby by becoming a professional Bar Mitzvah entertainer.
The Vampire Diaries
In "Break on Through," Damon's statuesque redhead friend Sage arrives in Mystic Falls just in time for a three-way. Meanwhile Abby adjusts to her vampirism and Elena reaches out to Stefan. Again.
"SEASON PREMIERE," 9pm, FOX
Oh, Fox Marketing Department. Why are you claiming that this second episode is the premiere? You rascals! Anyway, in this "Series Premiere," we'll check in with Kiefer Sutherland's troubled blue-collar dad character whose autistic son can predict the future via numerical patterns. Tonight's episode concerns the interrelated stories of strangers affected by a pawn shop robbery.
The Secret Circle
Now that Adam and Cassie have done the deed they'll find out the extent to which their love is a curse: Jake might die! Meanwhile, reawakened psycho Eva will come after Faye, plus Charles will come after Blackwell. And SOMEBODY will have to clean up the hundreds of dead birds on Cassie's lawn before the neighbors complain.
SEASON 10 FINALE, 9pm, Lifetime
Project Runway All Stars
How's your Project Runway All Stars bracket looking? Tonight we'll find out whether Austin, Mondo, or Michael takes home the title of top designer on a season that nobody will ever consider canon. Congrats in advance to the winner! Now bring back Michael Kors and let's never speak of this again.
PLUS ALL NEW EPISODES OF...
American Idol, 8 p.m., Fox
Missing, 8 p.m., ABC
The This Old House Hour, 8 p.m., PBS
30 Rock, 8:30 & 9 p.m., NBC
Behind the Music: The Game, 9 p.m., VH1
Braxton Family Values, SEASON 2 FINALE, 9 p.m., WE
Selling LA, 9 p.m., HGTV
The First 48, 9 p.m., A&E;
Selling New York, 9:30 p.m., HGTV
Up All Night, 9:30 p.m., NBC
Archer, 10 p.m., FX
Awake, 10 p.m., NBC
Jersey Shore, REUNION SPECIAL, 10 p.m., MTV
Unsupervised, 10:30 p.m., FX
I Just Want My Pants Back, 11 p.m., MTV
Inside Comedy: Kathy Griffin & Steven Wright, 11 p.m., Showtime
Delocated!, 12 a.m., Cartoon Network
Arsenio Hall on Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:35 p.m., NBC
Candice Bergen on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:37 a.m., NBC
Jennifer Lawrence on Chelsea Lately, 11 p.m., E!
Kristin Chenoweth on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 12 a.m., ABC
Nick Jonas on The Wendy Williams Show, 12 a.m., BET
Will Ferrell & Girls on Conan, 1 a.m., TBS
What are you watching tonight?