What to Watch Tonight: Warehouse 13, Alphas, and Bachelor Pad

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What to watch on Monday, July 23...

Mondays, amiright? Impossible to avoid, but made better depending on what it delivers to your small screen each week. Lucky for you, Mondays have ramped up significantly since the last one we had to endure—the one exactly 7 days ago. Everybody, allow me to introduce you to Monday night television. Television, this is everybody. Now mingle:

SEASON PREMIERE, 8pm, ABC
Bachelor Pad
Now that the love-sick Bachelorette is out of the way, let's make room for party-time! I still cringe when I think about how love-sick these Bachelor/Bachelorette contestants once were when they were chasing a single mate—only to turn into horn-dogging, money-grubbing, fame-chasing looney tunes on what's essentially the Bachelor Franchise reject show. But! All in a day's work? Or something? This season's cast features Chris from Emily's season (didn't he just leave?) and Lindzi from Ben's season—who apparently develops a thing for Kalon? Oy vey. Tune in for the train wreckage alone.

GRAND FINALE, 9pm, NBC
American Ninja Warrior
After what feels like weeks of finals on G4, NBC will air the American Ninja Warrior grand finale at last. It's great, because I've been desperate to know who will take home the title of most-able-to-get-across-an-adult-sized-jungle-gym. To be completely honest, I think this show would have been even cooler if it judged contestants on their stealth ninja prowess by making them jump across tin rooftops without making a 'thump' landing sound, but it's still pretty impressive to watch grown men confront the warrior wall.

SEASON 4 PREMIERE, 9pm, Syfy
Warehouse 13
I can literally feel your excitement through my computer screen right now. Warehouse has finally returned, and with a vengeance. In the aftermath of Warehouse 13's destruction, the team must race half-way around the world in search for an extremely dangerous artifact. Those who are left must decide whether or not to use it for their own personal gain, risking the deadliest of consequences. Yowsa, that sounds intense. I'm accepting wagers on what said "artifact" will be.

SEASON 2 PREMIERE, 10pm, Syfy
Alphas
Syfy is just raking in the enthusiasm tonight. Alphas kicks off Season 2 with a hostage situation. And not just any hostage situation: Dr. Lee Rosen, who exposed the Alphas to the public, gets imprisoned by the government in an attempt to cover up any remaining information. But without Dr. Rosen around, the dismantled team members have regressed to their old ways—the only way to save themselves is to reunite and save Dr. Rosen. Can they do it? Yes they can! ...I hope.

10pm, MTV
Teen Wolf
You know, I wasn't going to feature this for a second weekend in a row. And then I read that this week's episode is going to involve Derek trapping the new wolves in a closet—or larger room of sorts—during their first full moon! Um, that's something I think everybody should see. Will it be a blood bath? Will they all just get along? It's quite the experiment, either way. In other Teen Wolf news, Scott and Stiles show up to Lydia's birthday party (awe) and Allison struggles through her increasingly strained relationship with Scott. Teens are so dramatic!

PLUS ALL NEW EPISODES OF...
Antiques Roadshow, 8 p.m., PBS
Hell's Kitchen, 8 p.m., Fox
Love & Hip Hop Atlanta, 8 p.m., VH1
Tia & Tamera, 8 p.m., Style
The Secret Life of the American Teenager, 8 p.m., ABC Family
Wild Justice, 8 p.m., NatGeo
Bad Girls Club: Mexico, 9 p.m., Oxygen
Bizarre Foods America, 9 p.m., Travel
Border Wars, 9 p.m., NatGeo
Blood, Lies, & Alibis, 9 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Bunheads, 9 p.m., ABC Family
Cake Boss, 9 p.m., TLC
Chicagolicious, 9 p.m., Style
Love It or List It, 9 p.m., HGTV
Market Warriors, 9 p.m., PBS
MasterChef, 9 p.m., Fox
Single Ladies, 9 p.m., VH1
The Closer, 9 p.m., TNT
The Real Housewives of New York City, 9 p.m., Bravo
Top Gear (U.K.), 9 p.m., BBC America
Bad Girls Club: Mexico, 10 p.m., Oxygen
Four Houses, 10 p.m., TLC
Hotel Impossible, 10 p.m., Travel
House Hunters, 10 p.m., HGTV
Locked Up Abroad, 10 p.m., NatGeo
Lost Girl, 10 p.m., Syfy
Miss Advised, 10 p.m., Bravo
Opening Act, 10 p.m., E!
Perception, 10 p.m., TNT
Push Girls, 10 p.m., Sundance
Stolen Voices, Buried Secrets, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery
The Glass House, 10 p.m., ABC
Teen Wolf After Show, 11 p.m., MTV

LATE-NITE HIGHLIGHTS...
Necessary Roughness' Callie Thorne on Chelsea Lately, 11 p.m., E!
Will Ferrell and Rufus Wainwright on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35 p.m., CBS
Ben Stiller and The Bachelorette's Emily Maynard on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 12 a.m., ABC
George Hamilton and Margaret Judson on Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS


What are you watching tonight?

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