What to watch on Wednesday, March 28...
They call Wednesday "Hump Day" because it is the best day for tracking and capturing river monsters (with humps). That's not true, it's not true at all and I'm sorry for saying that. Thursday is the best day for capturing be-humped river monsters. Anyway, what was I saying? Oh, right, Wednesday TV:
One Tree Hill
The citizens of Tree Hill continue dealing with their very serious issues. Specifically, tonight Haley will host a boat festival; Mouth & Millie will make adjustments to their morning show; Brooke will deal with daddy issues; Julian will get motivated; and Clay & Quinn will try to spend quality time with Logan. See, all of these things sound hellish!
SEASON 1 FINALE, 8pm, NBC
Oh, Whitney. You got decent ratings but I don't know a single person who enjoyed you. Oh well, maybe tonight you'll go out with a bang! In "Something Black, Something Blue," Alex and Whitney head to city hall in order to make things legal, but Whitney's inability to keep her driver's license up-to-date creates some problems. Also Neal will attempt to reveal his true feelings for Roxanne. Awww! (I'm guessing, I don't know. Goodbye for now, Whitney.)
In "Big White Lies," Penny tells a white lie in order to avoid hanging out with a childhood friend, but that lie will spiral out of control amongst the rest of the gang. Meanwhile Max and Dave's landlord will attempt to evict them over their "robust love lives" unless Alex can sweet talk him out of it. (She does have skills.)
Tonight the boys will attempt to preserve Woody's job after he makes a mistake during an autopsy. Will their discovery of the corpse's true cause of death exonerate their pal? And more importantly, will the entire process be hilarious? Both questions will be addressed tonight.
10pm, Comedy Central
It doesn't matter what the episode title "Faith Hilling" actually means except that it will probably invoke the titular songstress in a less-than-flattering way. The main plot deals with an "evolutionary development" that may or may not pose a grave threat to humanity. So. Yeah, sorry, Faith Hill.
SEASON 3 PREMIERE, 10pm, BBC America
If one were to rank all of the TV shows that involve modern-day investigations into copycat Jack The Ripper killings, Whitechapel would certainly make the Top 10. Some might even put it at #1, but that's a matter of personal taste, of course. In tonight's Season 3 opener, Chandler and his team must look into the murders of four people trapped inside a tailor's workshop. Bring a mop!
PLUS ALL NEW EPISODES OF...
American Idol, 8 p.m., Fox
Survivor: One World, 8 p.m., CBS
Are You There, Chelsea?, 8:30 p.m., NBC
America's Next Top Model: British Invasion, 9 p.m., CW
Bent, 9 p.m., NBC
Dog the Bounty Hunter, 9 p.m., A&E;
Ghost Hunters International, 9 p.m., Syfy
Interior Therapy with Jeff Lewis, 9 p.m., Bravo
Only in America With Larry the Cable Guy, 9 p.m., History
Sons of Guns, 9 p.m., Discovery
Duck Dynasty, 10 p.m., A&E;
Hot in Cleveland, 10 p.m., TV Land
Monster Man, 10 p.m., Syfy
Real Vice: Miami, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Rock Center with Brian Williams, 10 p.m., NBC
The Challenge: Battle of the Exes, SEASON 22 FINALE, 10 p.m., MTV
The Soup, 10 p.m., E!
Happily Divorced, 10:30 p.m., TV Land
Ugly Americans, 10:30 p.m., Comedy Central
Adam Carolla on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 12 a.m., ABC
Aziz Ansari & Ana Gasteyer on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:35 a.m., NBC
Chris Elliott on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35 p.m., CBS
Dana Carvey & Mayim Bialik on Conan, 11 p.m., TBS
Jason Isaacs on Last Call with Carson Daly, 1:35 a.m., NBC
Mark Ruffalo on Colbert Report, 11:30 p.m., Comedy Central
Rainn Wilson & Debbie Gibson on Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:35 p.m., NBC
What are you watching tonight?