What to watch on Thursday, September 5...
Sunday Night Football
Day-of-the-week accuracy be damned—the Peacock and the National Football League have a brand to maintain here, and the brand demands that the 2013-2014 NFL season kick off with Sunday Night Football, even if it happens to fall on a Thursday. If you have a problem with that, perhaps you’d like to take it up with the visiting Super Bowl-champion Baltimore Ravens, or the team they ousted from last year’s playoffs, the Denver Broncos.
Ragin Cajun Redneck Gators
A particularly onerous batch of moonshine morphs a bayou’s alligator population into bloodthirsty mutants. Far be it for me to accuse Syfy of a lack of originality, but I’m pretty sure this is the exact origin story of several Ninja Turtle adversaries, third-tier Darkwing Duck villain Jambalaya Jake, and James Carville.
When you’re a spy show, there are times when you can’t help but spill a few secrets—like when Michael must divulge his identity to James in “Sea Change.” Fiona and Jesse may be perfectly justified in fretting that their compatriot has gotten in too deep.
Dammit, Graceland, how can you title an episode “Happy Endings” if you’re not going to promise me Elisha Cuthbert scarfing ribs? IT’S TOO SOON, TOO SOON I SAY! Anyway, in lieu of Alex Kerkovich’s hankering for tasty barbecue, please enjoy Briggs and Mike taking dangerous steps to get to the bottom of Juan’s disappearance—with major ramifications for Briggs’ future.
SEASON 3 FINALE, 10pm, FX
“Regrets” finds Ryan at his lowest point, in dire need of his best maybe-not-entirely-”real”-if-you-wanna-get-technical-about-it buddy. Unfortunately, Jenna has decided the pooch is off limits to him.
In “Under Fire,” an anonymous shooter with a grudge against 15 Division places the entire squad in jeopardy. Can the cops safeguard the city while racing to track down their vengeful adversary?
10pm, BBC America
Luther hunts a vigilante serial killer, and good luck to him, because I hear guys like that can hang around for years after they’ve run out of new ideas. Meanwhile, Gray and Stark pay a call to Mary.
Two Golden State agencies vie to add apparel company Tommy Bahama to their client roster.
12am, Cartoon Network
Sy plans a costume day at the base in "Old Fashioned Day," and something tells me he might just have a '50s-style leather jacket ready to go for just such an occasion.
12:15am, Cartoon Network
Sam is taken prisoner in "A Hard Drive to Swallow," forcing the squad to launch its most brazen and pulse-pounding rescue mission of this week.
– Carl Reiner, Cheryl Hines, and Delta Rae on Conan, 11pm, TBS
– Ross Matthews on Chelsea Lately, 11pm, E!
– Tracy Morgan on Totally Biased with W. Kamau Bell, 11pm, FXX
– Michael C. Hall on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, 11pm, Comedy Central
– John Prine on The Colbert Report, 11:30pm, Comedy Central
– Vince Vaughn, Olivia Munn, and Vintage Trouble on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:35pm, NBC
– Queen Latifah, Jake Johnson, and TV on the Radio on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35pm, CBS
– Jane Lynch, Jerry O’Connell, and 2Chainz on Jimmy Kimmel Live, 11:35pm, ABC
– Steve Buscemi, Bethenny Frankel, and Chef Daniel Humm on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:37am, NBC
– Vin Diesel and Sara Gilbert on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37am, CBS