So we've now seen what a 90-minute episode (minus commercials) of Glee looks like. What did you think? I thought "Born This Way" (Monday, E4) had some strong material for the Lebanese schemer Santana, who enlisted the duties of secret-gay Karofsky in order to win the title of prom queen. And then there was the always hateful Lauren Zizes, who—in a silly yet somehow satisfying bit of P.I. sleuthing—confronted prom queen frontruner Quinn about her portly past. Emma was touching, too, as she grappled with the crippling OCD that she'd all but accepted as a part of herself. Oh, and then there was Rachel, who after getting her nose broken by Finn during a dance rehearsal, spent the majority of the episode contemplating a nose job before coming to her Barbra Streisand-worshipping senses and deciding against it.
The episode ended with an auditorium performance of Lady Gaga's "Born This Way," in which each character wore a T-shirt made on a "letterpress" (a letterpress is what Gutenberg invented; the thing Emma wheeled into the choir room was a heat press machine) that bore the word that defines their own greatest insecurity. Tina chose, "BROWN EYES." Mr. Schue chose, "BUTT CHIN." Finn chose, "CAN'T DANCE." (These are issues? How about, "RAISED IN POVERTY BY ALCOHOLIC ABUSIVE MOTHER WHO TOLD ME REPEATEDLY THAT I'D NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING?" That to me sounds more like an actual, crippling insecurity.) Kurt chose, "LIKES BOYS." Haven't we dealt with that one already? And Mercedes wore, "NO WEAVE." That's bad? I thought having all-natural hair is a status symbol. I don't know, it was all kind of strange.
The show managed to fill up its 90-minute allotment without dragging too long. Why it was lengthened in the first place is a good question—possibly to counter the premiere of NBC's The Voice?—but the gang was up to the supersized task. It got me thinking: Fox likes nothing more than to turn its valuable TV properties like The X-Files and The Simpsons into feature film franchises. And the Glee brand already rakes it in on every other platform there is: iTunes, live concerts, merchandise, etc. So isn't the next obvious step a Glee movie? Followed by Glee: The Broadway Musical? I'm guessing both are on the horizon.
In the case of the Glee movie, the timing would probably best coincide with the cast's inevitable transition from McKinley High to various colleges and acting schools around the country. Does anyone have any idea when that might be? This show is so good at not mentioning what grade anyone is in! Let's make a ballpark estimate that Glee has a maximum two more seasons of student transfers, repeated grades, and temporary expulsions before those Gleesters need to hit the road. THAT'S when you hit 'em with Glee: The Motion Picture. The creators just need to follow the Sex and the City: The Movie playbook—bring everyone back, throw more money at them, more costumes, more locations, more songs, and a half-decent script. Then get fans to organise viewing parties at their local cinemas (make sure alcoholic slushees are served), sit back, and count your money!
Glee: The Broadway Musical is probably five years away. The major difference is that it doesn't require any of the original cast members—on the contrary, they'll be too old by then anyway. So you get young look- and sing-a-likes to take their place, put together a soundtrack of hot songs of the times (maybe even rotate in new songs every few weeks to make it seem current and fresh), get a half-decent script, and voila! Sit back and count your Broadway money. Of course, a couple of the original cast will also pop up on stage too, playing teachers and coaches at McKinley. I'm guessing Cory Monteith and Amber Riley.
What'd you think of the episode? And would you go see a Glee movie or musical?