White Collar, Chopped, and Pretty Little Liars

What to watch on Tuesday, July 12.

Well, the major networks have basically just thrown in the towel tonight. Hope you like game shows and baseball! Just kidding, nobody likes baseball, not even baseball players. Like you, they'd rather be home watching basic cable, so let's all do that!

9pm, USA
White Collar
When a talented teenage con artist starts griftin' up a storm in NYC, Neal (MATTHEW BOMERRRRRR) can't decide whether he should stop the kid or help him out. Hopefully he'll help him out—who couldn't use a lesson in looking perfect in a tuxedo or melting the television with dreaminess?

SEASON 8 PREMIERE, 10pm, Food Network
Chopped
In this installment of Chopped, four British chefs must make delicious meals out of American and Japanese snack foods. If I were a judge on this show, my vote would automatically go to the first chef to serve me a plate of slightly melted Now and Laters. Just a tip!

9pm, ABC Family
Pretty Little Liars
Dang, between surprise suicides and Drew Van Acker* cameos, this show means BUSINESS! In tonight's episode Spencer unexpectedly reaches an understanding with her parents, plus Hanna meets Caleb's foster mom and Emily remains pretty concerned about her friends' safety. (*Google image search)

10pm, Comedy Central
Tosh.0
This show is the modern-day Masterpiece Theater, you guys. But instead of Jane Austen or D.H. Lawrence (whoever THEY ARE) providing the storylines, YOU and your YouTube account are providing the storylines. Tonight Mr. Tosh presents the usual array of ridiculous or painful-seeming videos and pithy commentary on same, plus segments involving "Mr. Steroids Guy" and a Web rematch featuring a couple of teenage bozos. "Goodnight, sweet princes." —Literature.

9pm, ABC Family
The Nine Lives of Chloe King
You may think that being imbued with supernatural abilities derived from cats would make your life easier (14-hour naps!), but you'd be wrong. For example, tonight Chloe King will have to kick it with a couple of South American Mai girls (cat tramps, basically) who may or may not be a bad influence on her, plus Chloe's needy friend Paul will try to follow her advice on romance and Brian will be all frowney-faced about having to go back to college. Quick question: Has this show addressed the litter box issue yet?

PLUS NEW EPISODES OF...

101 Ways to Leave a Game Show, 9 p.m., ABC
19 Kids & Counting, 9 p.m., TLC
America's Got Talent, 9 p.m., NBC
Deadliest Catch, 9 p.m., Discovery Channel
Flipping Out, 9 p.m., Bravo
Memphis Beat, 9 p.m., TNT
Combat Hospital, 10 p.m., ABC
Covert Affairs, 10 p.m., USA
Gene Simmons Family Jewels, 10 p.m., A&E;
HawthoRNe, 10 p.m., TNT
I (Almost) Got Away With It, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery
Little Couple, 10 p.m., TLC
Million Dollar Decorators, 10 p.m., Bravo
Teen Mom, 10 p.m., MTV
16 & Pregnant, 11 p.m., MTV

LATE-NITE PICKS:

Chris Evans on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, 12:37 a.m., NBC
Dan Savage on The Colbert Report, 11:30 p.m., Comedy Central
Julie Chen on Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12:37 a.m., CBS
Regina King on The Mo'Nique Show, 11 p.m., BET
Roseanne Barr on Late Show with David Letterman, 11:35 p.m., CBS
Seth Meyers on Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 11:35 p.m., NBC

What are you watching tonight?