White Collar: Hot for Teacher

Last night on White Collar, after Neal learned he might soon have his sentence commuted, Peter suddenly found himself on the receiving end of A LOT of brown-nosing. This included profuse apologies, choice Yankees tickets, and Neal's FACE going all puppy-dog. What kind of monster could resist that? And anyway Neal was super super sorry about that whole treasure debacle, and he was looking to make it up to Peter however he could. That's when a 15-year-old prep school student arrived at the bureau with a neatly bound presentation that had a clearly marked thesis statement: Someone at his school was pilfering financial aid funds!

Next thing we knew Peter was posing as an international businessman looking to enroll his son at Manhattan Prep. As he talked shop with the school's dastardly financial administrator (Dylan Baker), a waiting Neal was mistaken for a substitute English teacher and jumped at the chance to be involved, particularly because the villain's daughter was a student in the English class he'd be teaching. What followed was basically some of the most outrageous poetry porn ever televised, wherein Neal recited tons of romance poetry from memory (while wearing a suit and tie and glasses and that face) and brought an entire class of teenagers to their knees while all over the nation lady viewers' biological clocks started exploding in unison. When Peter saw what Neal was doing, he entered the classroom and the two of them had some kind of weird poetry argument about betrayal? It made no sense to the students, but at that point I doubt anyone noticed or cared.

So obviously the mark's daughter developed a crush on Neal and hired him as a tutor, which meant he suddenly had access to the mark's apartment. At the same time, Peter had bonded with the mark over their shared love of trashy mistresses, and suddenly Diana was posing as Peter's tattooed, smart-mouthed, pregnant personal tramp and they were all dining together on finger sandwiches or whatever rich people eat. Oh and Neal had also decided to involve that original male student because the kid had a crush on the daughter and Neal wanted to use him as a romantic deflector, which ended up working out great because at the same time Mozzie had become personally invested in hooking the two teens up by using forged poetry and hair gel. Anyway, during lunch Peter distracted the mark while Neal sneaked into the guy's home office to copy his entire computer onto a thumb drive in six seconds.

The next day at school the evil financial dude totally figured out what was going on and suddenly Peter was tied up and being forced onto a table saw in the wood shop. That's when Neal went all Heisenberg on everybody and threw down a smoke bomb Mozzie had whipped up in the chemistry lab. He rescued Peter, Diana arrested Dylan Baker, and the young kid ended up winning over the girl (with the help of Mozzie having filled her locker with roses). In the final scene Peter informed Neal that he wouldn't, in fact, rat him out for the whole treasure thing. Whew, that was close! Just kidding, that was not close. What kind of monster would put Neal in prison? Peter ain't no monster! Even his wife was like, "Neal's awesome. Deal with it." DEALT.

Also, just FYI:

 


And for those of you eccentric types who prefer the non-Bomer faces on this show, here you go:

 

But let's get real:

 

What was YOUR favorite part of this week's White Collar?

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Jan 30, 2012
I like that you end your post with, 'What kind of monster would put Neal in prison? Peter ain't no monster! Even his wife was like, "Neal's awesome.' Isn't the original premise of this show the fact that Peter caught Neal and put him in prison?
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Jan 30, 2012
Price, you are amazing. You should recap everything! Bomer for President of Earth. what a beaut.
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Jan 27, 2012
Mozzie and the hair gel
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Jan 27, 2012
oh and Price - you the man!
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Jan 27, 2012
this guy keeps me alive - i LOVE white collar, Neal and Peter and El and Mozzie!!
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Jan 27, 2012
yay for shrieking sweaty guy with the mustard stain! rawr!

no, but really, the teenagers did a wonderful job. I'm a huge fan of their work on Victorious and The Good Wife.
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Jan 28, 2012
I knew I recognised that kid from somewhere.
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Jan 27, 2012
It was funny once, now it's getting creepy. That said, I am impressed you included the Royal Pains promo bump even though Matt Bomer's hair was considerably shorter.



Anyway, it was a cute episode, but the "mortal danger" element was pretty sloppy, and they didn't sell up the drug cartel angle enough so it felt like a lost thread come back to roost at the end. Peter undercover is still a cute bit, but I'm beginning to feel like Neal undercover is getting to be like James Bond: "Hey, you're that famous secret agent!"
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Jan 27, 2012
Are you going to do White Collar (Neal Caffrey) recaps every week? :) Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes.
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Jan 27, 2012
He's like the prettiest guy on tv...and I feel all shallow and horrible for being so distracted by his gorgeousness. I hate those shallow people...but I am not alone. That makes me feel incrementally better.



I think Neal playing teacher was my favorite. I soooo didn't have a teacher like that,or a professor for that matter. But I loved the fact that it tied in with Peter's previous talk with Neal about how Neal didn't go to college...legitimately. I think Neal actually would have made a fantastic teacher or professor. He's surprisingly good with teens and young adults especially. He actually cares and you see it in those moments...he wasn't conning the kids or playing a role, he actually was being the role. Peter speaking of Neal as though he were his son, Elizabeth being in Neal's corner again (because she always is...there is an underlying familial thing in this show that I adore), and Mozzie getting wrapped up in helping the boy land the girl (kudos to Graham Phillips for making me like him in a role because I find the kid annoying and useless in The Good Wife) were all highlights as well.
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Jan 27, 2012
brilliant!!! neal for teacher !
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Jan 27, 2012
i don't think i would have graduated if my teachers had been this hot... seriously teenage hormones and this hotness is not a good combo
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Jan 26, 2012
"And for those of you eccentric types who prefer the non-Bomer faces"

I read "non-boner" and it still made sense ^^
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Jan 26, 2012
Price, thanks for the GIF!...



Lets see what i remember from this episode, Neal quoting Byron, Neal in specs, Mozzie knows great chemistry (of chemicals and of people),Peter isnt going to snitch..at some point Diana was preggerz..



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Jan 26, 2012
Gosh, if I had a teacher that passionate (and lets face it, that hot) about poetry... Would have been a totally different experience :P
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Jan 26, 2012
I love White Collar, but found this to be one of the weaker, albeit still enjoyable, episodes of the series. After the exciting conclusion to the mid-season cliff-hanger, it's probably to be expected. It was just a random situation where Neal gets to do his fun thing, Peter is the disapproving father-figure, Mozzie is... well, Mozzie and the bad guy gets his comeuppance in the end. These one-off scripts practically write themselves now. :)
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Jan 26, 2012
I found this episode to be a bit flat to be honest. It was all very obvious from the outset. It never felt like Peter was in any real danger and the "I'm pregnant" scene between Peter and Diane was pretty terrible.



I'm starting get the feeling that you're only doing these recaps so that you can post lots of pictures of Neal. Don't ask me why, I can't quite put my fingure on it, but if I am right, can you please include some of Hilary Burton when she returns?
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Jan 26, 2012
I loved this episode it was classic White Collar at it's best. Neal and Peters back and was great which for me is the corner stone of this series. Alias Savant....so funny.

Also did Neal hesitate when the Girl ask for his REAL name? He answerd Neal, so perheps Neal is his real name but not Caffrey? Or was it just his usual battleling with himself to not give an alias? Atmosphere, acting, story, humor all great this week.

Sidenote: The entrire episode I thought this girl has to have auditioned for the Part of Faye on the Secret Circle and probaly lost to Phoebe Tonkins by this much.
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Jan 26, 2012
I've wanted to watch this show but just never got around to it. I saw this on guide and decided to watch (because of your insightful post last week) and I liked it. I'm gonna try it from the beginning and work my way up though (bought season one).
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Jan 26, 2012
haha i love how these dont even need captions on the photos like the vampire diaries ones. neal's face is more than enough to make a great review
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Jan 26, 2012
If Neal or Peter were one of my teachers, I would, at least, have perfect attendance in their classes. Sexiness 101.
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Jan 26, 2012
Price! you are by far my most favorite person I've never met (and that's saying a lot because there are just tons of people I've never met). You share my love for wild eyed vampires, teenage witches and all things Bomer. Plus, there's the added bonus of visual aids. LOVE (but totally not in a creepy or stalkery way lol)
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Jan 26, 2012
Honestly is there anything hotter in this world that Matt in a suit and glasses, it makes me weak in the knees! And that Boy was also pretty damn hot as well. White Collar sure knows how to cast the best eye candy!
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Jan 26, 2012
btw the "nerdy guy" was a good-looking guy. Thats the thing with Hollywood, even "nerds" are all actually amazing-looking hipsters
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Staff
Jan 26, 2012
Yeah, seriously.
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Jan 26, 2012
A teacher looking like Bomer would be a shitty one, no person in ten mile radius would listen what he is on about. His face is too distracting.
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Jan 26, 2012
VERY HOT for teacher...this just made my night....
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Jan 26, 2012
You're just making White Collar reviews for the Matt Bomer's pictures arent you Price?
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Staff
Jan 26, 2012
Whaaaa??
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Jan 26, 2012
such a good episode!!! neal made such an adorable teacher and him and mozzie helping the nerd get the girl was adorable, aaaand the teens were jade from victorious and graham phillips! such a good episode!!!
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Jan 26, 2012
Price, you just made my day! (or more accurately: night... or maybe day as well, if I count tomorrow, as I will read/look at all of this again as soon as I wake up)

Bottom line, I absolutely ADORE you! Although probably not as much as I adore Matt Bomer... But that is hardly something you can hold against me now can you? What with all the puppy dog eyes and the poetry porn and THAT FACE in bespectacled state...
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Jan 26, 2012
Yess!
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Jan 27, 2012
Now I know how to get a reply comment from the writer boy.
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Jan 26, 2012
I swoon over the real Mr. Cooper, mustard stain and all.
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Jan 26, 2012
Neal is adorable in glasses, of course. And quoting Lord Byron? Come on! Loved the Harry Potter reference. And the White Collar/Royal Pains promo. Long con. Ha!
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Jan 26, 2012
a very fun episode, he'd make a great teacher... and I hated school.
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Jan 26, 2012
My favorite parts involved Bomer,Bomer & Bomer. Basically just Bomer.
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Jan 26, 2012
Matt Bomer in glasses?! MELT!!!
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Jan 26, 2012
Just one picture of Jones? He is obviously the second most handsome guy on the show! Besides, Jones is the BEST.
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