Who Hit Charlie Sheen Harder: Chuck Lorre and Two and a Half Men or the Comedy Central Roast?

On one hand, it might have been fun for the Charlie Sheen camp if The Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen had aired tonight, thus allowing the warlock to invade our TV screens for three nights in a row. But if anyone knows the importance of gettin’ while the gettin’s good, it’s Sheen, and with Sunday's odd moment at the Emmys kicking off the most recent Sheenathon, Chuckles no-doubt enjoyed being the center of the pop-culture universe once again—if only for a fleeting moment—during Monday's double smackdown from Two and a Half Men and Comedy Central’s merry band of roasters.

In art, negative space defines the area around the subject—the area of an image not occupied by an object. On TV, negative space might be explained as every scene from last night's episode of Two and a Half Men that didn't somehow relate to Charlie Sheen. As expected, the Season 9 opener—which aired just an hour before the Comedy Central roast—tackled Sheen’s absence with an almost giddy announcement of Charlie Harper’s death and a funeral scene that served as a veritable roast of its own.

There were plenty of jokes about drugs, hookers and venereal disease, and the show successfully blurred the lines between TV and real life with chortle-worthy cameos (Jenny McCarthy, Martin Mull, and Jeri Ryan) and some winning—see what I did there?—zingers. Meanwhile, Sheen himself seemed to take it all in stride. He tweeted last night, “Surrounded by friends and watching the premiere of Two and a Half Men. Odd... But cool..! So far a lot of laughs!! Nice...”


After Chuck Lorre served up enough Sheen-related ribbing to outfit an entire shipment of Tiger Blood-brand condoms, Comedy Central’s roast went as far blue as its cable carriage would allow. The content was essentially the same (prostitutes + cocaine = Charlie Sheen), but the delivery was in keeping with roast tradition, which dictates being as funny and mean and raunchy as possible.

Seth MacFarlane set the tone for the evening—which was taped a couple weeks ago—with opening remarks that acknowledged the Men premiere airing the same night. "Tonight, on Two and a Half Men, they are actually having Charlie's pretend funeral,” he said. “There's no need to switch over, though, because in a couple of months, you probably can see the real thing.” Later, comedian Amy Schumer also paid homage to Sheen’s firing. “You’re just like Bruce Willis,” she quipped. “You were big in the '80s and now your old slot is being filled by Ashton Kutcher.” Nice..

The rest of the humor sifted out as you might expect, with the professional comedians proving more successful than the more amateur folks on the dais (sorry, Steve-O). Jon Lovitz did his familiar, uppity weirdo schtick, killing with one line in particular: “How much blow can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men.”

There were many other notable jabs, but no one can touch Jeffrey Ross, who added his own touch of absurdity to the evening by arriving dressed as Muammar Gaddafi. His best lines:

“How do you roast a meltdown?”

“If you’re winning, this must not be a child custody hearing. The only time your kids get to see you is in reruns—don’t you want to live to see their first twelve steps?”

“Every night, Charlie, you walked on stage and you told the audience you were a warlock from Mars. Well, maybe you are, but I'll tell you what you're not: a comedian from Earth.”

“Brooke Mueller—she’s not very bright unless Charlie's throwing a lamp at her.”

“Charlie Sheen is to stand-up what Larry Flynt is to stand-up.”

And that is why Ross is the Roastmaster General.

All told, it was a brutal Sheenis-slap fest of Vatican proportions that included a ridiculously low blow from Kate Walsh (of ABC's Private Practice and Grey's Anatomy), who said, “Despite all those years of abusing your lungs, your kidneys, your liver—the only thing you've had removed is your kids.”

While the roast was easily in a league of its own due to its cringe-worthy nature, Two and a Half Men squeezed in some surprisingly funny and bawdy digs. But for me, one of the most rewarding take-downs of the night didn't involve Sheen at all—Steve-O's nose-breaking dive into Mike Tyson’s fist was far more satisfying than any insult hurled at the guest of honor.

Finally, kudos to Mike Tyson for proving that there IS a weirder person on this planet than Charlie Sheen. And I’m not talking about Muammar Gaddafi.


Did you watch Two and a Half Men or The Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen last night? Where do you think Charlie fared worse?

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didn't watch either as i don't watch trainwrecks if i know about them in advance
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Never watched two half men..not going to start now. I contemplated watching the roast...but i couldn't to it, i'd have leave the room all the time, i'm sure it was suitably cringe worthy
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the roast was great,but the debut of th new season sucked. i will probably not last the whole season.
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I didn't find the funeral on Two and a Half Men to be all that funny; but then again, I find any funeral that is meant to be funny, tasteless. I did enjoy the first episode but as Chat2ian said, the episode was still centered around Charlie's character. The next few episodes of Two and a Half Men will show whether the series still has the ability to continue on despite losing the reason people watched it in the first place. Who knows, Charlie may just drag Two and Half Men down with him.

I was impressed by how Charlie took the roast; good acting or that he is capable of being a good guy. That whole Tiger blood thing I found lame (Sheen lost brownie points when I learned he said that). I found that the roasters spent more time roasting each other than Charlie though and was disappointed about that. Some of the insults hurled at Sheen were funny like "Every night, Charlie, you walked on stage and you told the audience you were a warlock from Mars. Well, maybe you are, but I'll tell you what you're not: a comedian from Earth." and "You're just like Bruce Willis," she quipped. "You were big in the '80s and now your old slot is being filled by Ashton Kutcher.". The best part of the roast didn't even involve Sheen; it was Mike Tyson saying that Seth MacFarlane wasn't the only one who got ideas from Homer (or something like that).

All in all, Charlie got roasted more by Monday's Two and a Half Men with Rose shoving him in front of a train than the whole 90min of his roast.
More+
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Pretty much all the jokes in the THM premier were still about Charliie's character. They can't keep that up for more than the first episode. I'm not buying Ashton in the role. I think it will be hard for them to find a groove. On the other hand, I'll watch whatever Charlie does next because he's funny. I guess that's the problem that THM will have - Charlie is funny, whereas Ashton has to rely on the writing.
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I watched them both but I laughed the hardest with the roast. I'll still watch THM though,, Maybe it'll make it til the end of the season who knows?
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T&HM will die a horrible death.... at least I hope so, I can't stand Ashton Kutcher even if he is naked as ppl says he was in the premier (and I have no prblm with young hot guys naked on my tv, but his "acting" simply sux) so no, I didn't watch the premier, but I LMAO with the roast, Amy Schumer was my fav btw, totally uknown and totally owned everyone there!! , Mike Tyson....LOL, I have no comment cause I didn't understood a word he said so I guess I felt as Amy did about it.... Shatner at Steve O: what the f&*k? at the very end was priceless, the cherry on top.. and the bitching rock star from mars: " for my family to see me in basic cable tv would kill them"

Just freacking SHEENTASTIC!!!! So yeah, team Charlie all the way \m/
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True dagrimmreepa, that joke was totally stolen!
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"How much blow can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men."



That was stolen from a Youtube comment I read a while back, when they first announced the possible firing of Sheen. It was thumbed up with 300 or so votes, only it was based on that CSI puts-on-glasses thing. Tsk-tsk, someone went through a lot of trouble to create that zinger and a so-called "professional" comedian stole it.
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likewise..missed both on purpose...call it false pride on my side of the fence,i just can't ABIDE IT...
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Happy to have missed both train wrecks, thank you very much.
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Lets see the numbers next week after the curiosity dies down!
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I watched the premiere, but not the Roast. It was ok. Let's hope it picks up though in the coming episodes, or else I don't see it living up to a full final season.



I like how the 2 images match in this article, haha!
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The premiere only made me smile a couple of times. Not liking it yet, might give it a couple more episodes, but I just don't buy it without Charlie.
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God almighty! That premiere just confirmed, if there was any doubt, that Chuck Lorre is as big of a douchebag as Charlie said he was.
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The Roast had some good bits but I felt the roasters were more like roasting the fellow roastees instead of Charlie Sheen Jeff Ross, Kate Walsh, Amy Schumer and William Shatner were great though. Although I thought Amy was outta line with the Ryan Dunn thing... Charlie fired back great. I also watched the new 'Men' and it wasn't bad, funny way of introducing Kutchers character, will tune in next week again so that's a good thing. Will I miss Charlie? Of course but that doesn't necessarily mean that 'Men' is over
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Charlie Sheen made TAHM, I didn't watch the show all that much, but he was the show. Ashton is just awful.
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I LOVED the season premiere! Kudos to the writers & cast!
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Ashton's monotone voice is annoying as hell. Show is almost unwatchable with him talking.
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The season premiere of T&HM was terrible, Not funny at all. Charlie was the conflict starter, without conflict there's no comedy. It was Sheen's interaction with the other characters what bring everything together, he provided the punch lines, the sarcasm or at least was the focus of the conflict so is hard to believe that such a pour character as that Walden (kutcher) can do the same since there's any kind of bond between him and any of the other characters, especially if all he have to offer is being naked, he might be hot but not funny. Now i wonder, is Allan suppose to live with Walden now that he bought the house? cuz that's what happen when you sell your house to a perfect stranger, you stay and live with him, right? No i don't think so, even if it is a fictional comedy situation it must be believable. So make no mistake, It was not the funeral for Charlie Harper but for T&HM.
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Sarah, if you genuinely thought that the premiere of TaHM was funny... I genuinely think you're mentally challenged.
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Totally forgot about the roast, but that's because I wasn't looking forward to it. I knew it was just going to be who can out shock who because every joke about Sheen has been said and done.
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It was quite a brutal slaughter, especially when they talked about his kids. But that's the way roasts are. Charlie is a big boy and practically volunteered to be roasted, so he should be able to take it. Of course there were these really low points like Mike Tyson, but MacFarlane was classy as always and Ross really put the Ross in roast. (Wait, that didn't work.)

They say the Chevy Chase roast was extremely brutal, but I've never seen it. I understood they had to censor one third of it and it has never been re-aired. So I don't know if this roast of Charlie was really among the really rough ones.

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Watched the Roast. It was easily a contender as the funniest thing since Shatner's Roast. Amy Shumer killed it -despite people hating on her for the Ryan Dunn joke and honestly, who gives a crap about him?- along with pretty much everyone else up there on the dais. Why would anyone watch Two and a Half Men when the very reason for that show's existence was getting roasted, and well too!
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I don't care about Ryan Dunn, if you're driving drunk you get what you deserve. However there is a period of time where you don't joke about it. The death is way too fresh to make a stupid joke about it just to get to one of his friends.



BTW I felt that Mike Tyson made much more sense than ever before. I actually thought he could be intelligent. But he probably just read from the teleprompter what somebody wrote for him.
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What the hell was Steve-O doing?
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Jeff Ross owned it but he had been doing Charlie Sheen's tour with him for a bit there. Chuck Lorre was just looking to disgrace Charlie Harper altogether. They basically made it out that Charlie Harper was broke and had several mortgages on the place, he was disease filled and his worth was his ashes being sucked up into a Dustbuster. Anthony Jeselnik I think had the most brutal jab at Micheal J. Fox. "Charlie, the only reason you got on TV in the first place is because God hates Michael J. Fox.", I laughed, but oh wow that was over the top. Finally, Mike Tyson made every boxer rethink their career choice.
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I didn't watch the Roast, but the Two and Half Men premiere sucked. It wasn't funny at all. Ashon can't act. Being naked is not funny.
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Two and a Half Men was funnier than I expected it to be. The Dharma and Greg cameo alone was worth the whole thing, although I admit James Widdoes is nowhere as good a director as the woman who works on How I Met Your Mother now.
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Pamela Fryman is the director I was thinking of.
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Are you kidding? The season premiere was awesome! I usually don't like Ashton, but he did the role as Walden great.

And btw, being naked is totally funny ;-)
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I just enjoyed the fact that we got to see him naked in the first place
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