World Cup phobia? is here to help!

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Not interested in the World Cup? Here are your other options!

Does the drone of the vuvuzela send a shiver down your spine? The inane flag waving drive you wild?

Have no fear -- the gods at ABC, Seven, TEN et al have made sure that whilst SBS is keeping the football flowing, there is a good selection on the box for those of us who are not remotely interested in spending 90 minutes watching 22 men run round a big lawn.

Luckily, the numerous 4am games does go some way to save the non-fanatic from over-exposure. But still, with games every night at 9.30pm, it can be difficult to avoid entirely.

Here are some of's recommendations, to help maintain some televisual sanity over the coming weeks.

Argentina and South Korea go head-to-head on the 17 June at 9.30pm -- at the same time as back-to-back Cougar Town over on Seven. One of only few successful projects to come out of the ex-Friends crowd, this Courteney Cox double bill tears into the lifestyles of the Florida set, with the trials and tribulations of visiting rogue dermatologists (a fantastic guest turn from Lisa Kudrow) and dysfunctional relationships galore.

Of course -- it might just be the particular sport of soccer that aggrieves you -- if that's the case you can't go wrong with a bit of Ultimate Fighting over on One from 10pm. It's like the television equivalent of hot milk and cookies before bed.

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Australia's arch (soccer) nemesis, Germany, takes to the stage again at 9.30pm on the 18 June -- this time primed to destroy the hopes and dreams of Serbia. If this is the last thing you need to witness for the second time, then turn over to a bit of advertising satire in 30 Seconds on ABC1 at 10pm.

This week sees the team embarking on a campaign to break into the female market with the new Urban Ranger car. Given that the team struggles to relate with women at the best of times, their attempts are inevitably fail-central.

Fancy a bit of crime drama instead? Then check out the always-reliable Numb3rs on TEN, from 10pm.

If you're having a late one on the 18th, and need to avoid the 12.00am kick-off of Greece v Nigeria then there is a good selection of drama on 7Two, with Jonny Lee Miller's Eli Stone, followed by The Good Wife's Julianna Margulies, starring in the miniseries The Grid, in which her character becomes embroiled in a terrorist plot to attack London.

Australia's second attempt to get through to the knock-out stages sees them tackling Ghana in Rustenberg on 20 June at 12pm. Can't bear to watch again after their last dismal performance? Who better to take solace in, than Hercule Poirot in Agatha Christie's Evil Under The Sun. Escapism at its best, spend a couple of hours with the moustachioed sleuth, as he follows the inevitable trail of death to find the lost diamond.

For those of you with no inclination to support the Portuguese or Korea DPR on the 21 June at 9.30pm, then check out a new HBO comedy premiere on Seven at the same time. Hung, is as transparent as the title suggests, with a struggling history teacher (Thomas Jane) turning to prostitution to subsidise his income. With rave reviews from the States, this would definitely be worth checking out.

And finally -- if you really can't bear to watch New Zealand put on a potentially better show than the Socceroos (again) against Paraguay on the 25 June, then bury yourself deep into indie angst with Rage, long into the night.

Any other recommendations for fellow Soccer-phobics? Let us know in the comments box below!

Comments (3)
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Dec 04, 2011
Football, yuk.
Jun 18, 2010
Yeah, I totally know what you mean. Football ROCKS!
Jun 17, 2010
I don't get it. Why would anyone NOT be watching the football??