Your Everything Guide to New Year's TV Marathons

Whether you're cozying up and staying in on New Year's Eve or getting out the icepack to recover at home on New Year's Day, New Year’s TV marathons are one of our finest holiday traditions. Here are a few of the noteworthy options for your intensive couch session—helpfully organized by viewer profile. (All times listed are EST.)

If you: hold a dystopian view of the future...
The marathon to watch is: Twilight Zone
Airs: December 31 - January 1, 8am - 4:30am on SyFy

If you: want to take your relationship with Ed Begley, Jr. to the next level...
The marathon to watch is: Living with Ed
Airs: December 31, 11am - 2:30pm on Green Planet

If you: enjoy watching people in excruciating pain who probably shouldn't be out in the public anyway...
The marathon to watch is: Untold Stories of the E.R.
Airs: December 31, 12 noon - 5pm on TLC

If you: think yourself a wise guy...
The marathon to watch is: The Three Stooges
Airs: December 31 - January 1, 7am - 5:30am on AMC

If you: are a gay nerd...
The marathon to watch is: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Airs: January 1, 6am - 11pm on Logo, a gay- and lesbian-themed network

If you: are hoping for a spooky new year...
The marathon to watch is: Ghost Lab
Airs: December 31 - January 1, 9am - 2am on Discovery

If you: don't think it's weird to, once a year, watch TV all day long while eating only M&Ms; (separated by color, of course)...
The marathon to watch is: Strange Rituals
Airs: December 31 - January 1, 2pm - 2am on History Channel

If you: want to feel less guilty about how much you ate over the holidays...
The marathon to watch is: Andrew Zimmern's Bizarre World and Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern
Airs: December 31, 9am - 11pm on Travel Channel

If you: still miss Bea Arthur (and who doesn't?)...
The marathon to watch is: Golden Girls
Airs: January 1, 10am - 6:30pm on WE

If you: made a New Year’s resolution to finally get off the couch and exercise (which you’ll start tomorrow)...
The marathon to watch is: The Biggest Loser
Airs: January 1, 7 am - 3am on Fine Living Network

If you:: subscribe to the belief that we must destroy in order to create...
The marathon to watch is: Disaster House
Airs: January 1, 7am - 2:30am on DIY Network

If you: are new-age romantic who appreciates big ears, permed-out pimps, overbearing neighbors, and Detroit talk radio...
The marathon to watch is: Martin
Airs: January 1, 9am - 5:30am on TV One


Plus!

The Next Food Network Star, December 31, 3pm - 3am on Food Network
Real Housewives of Atlanta, December 31, 1pm - 4:30pm on Bravo
Las Vegas, December 31, 11am - 6pm on TNT
World Extreme Cagefighting, December 31, 2pm - 8pm on Versus
South Park, December 31, 9pm - 11:30pm on Comedy Central
Meet My Folks, December 31, 9am - 1pm on Fox Reality
Married...With Children, January 1, 4:30pm - 8:30pm on TV Land
Bait Car, January 1, 7pm - 10:30pm on TruTV
Law & Order: SVU, January 1, 10am - 5am on USA

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hey everybody, so sorry for the confusion ... tv.com and its staff didn't mean to offend. it's now clear to us that our joke was too subtle. we do not hate gay people! (nor do we hate buffy fans and nerds.) as a few folks have already said, Logo is a an LGBT-themed TV network, hence the gay nerd" bit. i've added as much to the story above. happy new year!
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I understand Zulkey's POV, but had I written the article, I would have made it clear IN THE ARTICLE what I meant. Calling people gay nerds" is obviously an insult by default. Contextually, she's correct. But nobody else was told about this "context" of hers.
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*ouch* with the buffy comment there. if it was a joke i haven't actually heard of LOGO.
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""Claire Zulkey is an ignorant lesbian. What, she can dish it but I can't? PS - I don't have a problem with lesbians."
ArlovskiFTW Posted 12/31/2009 You felt it acceptable to called someone a Lesbian as an insult yet you don't have a problem with Lesbians... that's what we called an oxymoron. Claire was contextually correct you are just ignorant
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I am from Britain and gay and yes I get pi**ed off when the word is used as a negative i.e. that show is gay instead of it is s**t. this is not the case here, the channel is a gay channel would it be offensive to say that a program is for you if your a woman because its on a channel aimed at women? Therefore the were making a statement: this is for you if your a gay gay channel) nerd (its Buffy of course us nerds watch it). Over reaction and expecting never to be offended, demanding never to be offended stops people living their life just get over it and get on living your life, life's too short getting upset over everything'
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Yeah the whole gay nerd' thing = not cool.

Im neither gay or a nerd and i love buffy. And just because its on a gay channel doesnt mean straight people cant watch it!!!

Claire Zulkey you are a loser!!! Buffy is one of the greatest show ever made! And you are a waste of space :)
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You could learn something from Wikipedia, TV.com. "It is often useful to avoid words with strong connotations (especially disparaging ones) when striving to achieve a neutral point of view. A desire for more positive connotations, or fewer negative ones, is one of the main reasons for using euphemisms."

Don't say I never did anything for you.
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Wow....way to piss me off tv.com
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You forgot the Torchwood marathon on Space! That's what I'm watching right now. It is the Children of Earth five part series.
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Woo Law and Order SVU Marathon. I am so there, well took a break for the NHL Winter Classic, but otherwise, I am there.
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I sent the link to this "article" to a friend of mine, who is gay and loves Buffy, the comment even pissed him off.
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If you are a sophomoric website trying to pathetically scoop up the leftovers from bigger websites then you try to get homophobic readers by insulting one of the most influential and imaginative shows in TV history (Buffy). Then again, I would not expect the idiots running this site to understand or even comprehend its nuances
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Wow, are you guys that homophopic that you all lose your **** over a harmless little joke?
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That was totally uncalled for - "If you: are a gay nerd". I am not gay nor am I a nerd, but the only marathon I'd be watching off that list IS BTVS. If you don't like the show then fine, but you don't need to bash fans, or insult nerds or gays. And as another poster stated, it's nice to know if we made a comment like this in a forum you guys (mods/editors) would jump all over us, but here there is no way to report YOU for doing it.
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gay nerd... you are pure garbage. go back to writing on your morronsforless.com blog. way to start the new year. hope you get fired, seriously.
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oh for the love ... all the real nerds are watching the Dr. Who marathon on BBCA and already own all the buffy DVDs. Curse you Richard for making me log onto this hopelessly snark-free and overly sensitive website. ps NCIS is not a good show. A monkey with a clue board game could write that trite.
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wow i guess i'm a gay nerd because the only marathons i would've watched if i wasn't getting drunk would've been buffy & south park.
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Barney Miller marathon on WGN America! Now that's comedy!
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LOL @ all the people who thought it was offensive to gay folks. It was offensive to Buffy fans that already have it quite hard convincing people that one of their favorite shows is in fact not gay Now that I know LOGO is a gay channel," it puts the comment in context. This is still one more article of many contributing to TV.com's downward spiral. If you're going to pay someone to write for you, hire someone that ... you know, can write.
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If you were trying to piss off your readership, good job. Your intent, however, did not come through in your flippant choice of words. Learn to choose your words carefully and you may one day be a writer, not just a common blogger. Good day.
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Married with children on TVland for the win :D
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OMG some people... get over it some people are over-sensitive it was a joke for the love of god, im gay and a bit of a nerd and the comment was funny. The Marathon is on LOGO and I live in New Zealand and I know that LOGO is a gay and lesbiean entertianment network, most gay people know that LOGO is a GLBT entertainment channel and they/I are the only ones who have the right to be offended, i've shown this to alot of my gay friends and we just think its funny and just ridiculous how silly some people can be. Its no big deal, move on. (Who knows the writer might be a gay nerd, and everyone can laugh at themselves!) Happy New Year!
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Law and order svu for the win
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Looks like it's Strange Rituals, Golden Girls of course, Martin, MWC and SVU for me.
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I didn't see anything I care for.
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I don't even know why I keep subjecting myself by clicking onto these epic fails on this website. Gay nerd? WTF?
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of course I knew it MIGHT cause SOME controversy if people didn't pay attention to the network but I got permission from at least two certified gay nerds that I know so I feel fine with it. Happy New Year, everyone!
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add a comment
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Yay a Buffy marathon!
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I think we should take the gay nerd' comment in stride. What Zulkey meant to say was... If you: are a happy social introvert. Then your marathon to watch is Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
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I may be a nerd, but I resent being called one by the likes of you. =P
And straight people such as I can enjoy Buffy too, no matter what network it's on.
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Was it not forseeable that many people would not know LOGO was a gay channel, and saying the show is for gay nerds" would possibly be misunderstood?
Maybe be a bit more clear next time.
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I got the joke, and it makes you remember what channel has it, LOGO, because it isn't on FX which I believe is the only other cable outlet that still carries "Buffy" re-runs. I don't believe it was meant to be offensive but rather informative. All this anger over a couple of words is what is wrong with this planet. Happy New Year!!
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Claire Zulkey here! If you check out the "Buffy" listing, it's on the Logo newtork, which is on its site defined as "Entertainment programming for the lesbian and gay community." So: gay nerds :)
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looool
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I love Buffy. I'll be watching that even though I am not a gay nerd.
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Offensive.
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off with the writers head. their obviously not using it anyway
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I often find anytime some one uses the word Gay or Black they need to always be sure not to be misunderstood, that is if they aren't plain ignorant. I suspect this could be one of those occasions where the writer probably isn't implying people who watch it are gay simply that if you are a gay nerd you could appreciate it. Since the show its self is clearly nerdy undeniable. And since the show itself portrayed gay characters in the show at a time that would make it rather progressive for a popular TV show and it was done in my opinion in a tasteful manner and not in a way to promote the show to sex crazed guys.

Given the above one can perhaps see the gay nerd comment making some sense and taken out of context or I could be wrong and the writer is simply a schmuck
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I thought the gay nerds thing was funny and I typically enjoy Joss Whedon. Except for Angel. That I did not. But I did laugh when I read that.
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add a commentyosu forgot Burn Notice December 31- January 1st 6 am to 6 am on USA
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I'd rather be a gay nerd than be Claire Zulkey. At least gay nerds have good taste. If you're Claire Zulkey, the only thing you got going for is your abysmal writing. Congratulations on embarrassing yourself.
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If you: are a gay nerd...
The marathon to watch is: Buffy the Vampire Slayer WTF???????????? Claire Zulkey number 1 Bitca!
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Claire Zulkey is an ignorant lesbian. What, she can dish it but I can't? PS - I don't have a problem with lesbians.
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The gay nerd comment is offensive on multiple levels. One, because you're implying that everyone who likes Joss Whedon's work is a homosexual nerd. Two, it's hard to tell if you're actually talking about homosexual or "lame" like the word gay has UNFORTUNATELY come to be used as (i.e. "that's so gay
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an alright list but there's heaps more
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Yeah. That line is ridiculous. Here we are, the users who aren't allowed use any sort of swear word, and then the frickin mods and editors are calling people gay nerds. That's great...
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Whoever wrote that buffy line should be flogged and fired
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gay nerd?? shame on you
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Gay nerd?! LOL what the..
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