Zero Hour Series Premiere Review: Anyone Know What We Just Watched?

Zero Hour S01E01: "Strike"

I have stared into the void, I have become one with an artsy foreign-language film, I have received transmissions from extra-terrestrials directly into my frontal cortex. This is what happens when you watch ABC's new thriller Zero Hour, one of the most bizarre television series to debut at any time ever. It's a monstrosity pieced together from toilet-paper doodles by The Da Vinci Code author Dan Brown, the ashes of failed half-assed Lost copycats, every Nic Cage action movie you've ever regretted plopping down money to see, and so many bad ideas that a 3am burrito sounds good by comparison.

Yet even after an hour of quizzical reveals, convoluted conspiracies, and FRICKIN' FROZEN NAZIS, the confusing pilot episode "Strike" didn't offer a very good indication what Zero Hour will really be about, and that's usually the greatest crime a pilot can commit. But at the same time, the confusion could also be the series' salvation. I'm on the phone ALL DAY with ABC boss Paul Lee for the second episode, because I'm anticipating where this thing is going with equal parts morbid intrigue and curious terror.

I first saw the pilot episode over in the summer and left dumbfounded. After rewatching it this week, I left absolutely lobotomized. But I didn't hate it; rather, Zero Hour is the latest series to hit the air that's fascinating as a televised piece of mesmerizing performance art, like those guys who shit on things or women who make art out of used tampons.

Early in the episode, skeptic magazine editor Hank Galliston (Anthony Edwards, in his triumphant return to television) made his employees recite his advice to reporters on their first day of the job: "Don't start with the headline, start with the facts." And the facts about Zero Hour are as follows: Nazis, Nazisicles, underground religious secret societies, trained assassins, possibly immortal demonic babies with milky eyes, and clocks, clocks, clocks! Now that we have the facts, here's a headline: "What the fuck did I just watch?"

"People dig a little mystery, Hank, a tease, an intellectual reach-around," Arron (Scott Michael Foster, playing Hank's spellcheck-catastrophe-named acolyte) explained. And that appears to be the show's business philosophy, too. "Strike" favored flashing glimpses of its hand over making any sense, hoping that its net of weirdness—take another look at those "facts" I listed above—would dare viewers to return. Guess what? I'm enough of a sucker to fall into that trap out of stupidity/rubbernecking curiosity/genuine confusion.

I'd love to discuss the plot with you but where do I even begin? Other than a run-of-the-mill fight between good and evil to save the world and Hank's quest to find his wife, I have no idea what this show is about. The crucial piece is whatever was under that tarp in the cathedral's sewers that the Rosicrutians insist is so important (even though they still referred to it as a "thing"), but that's one of the only things the pilot showed constraint on. Is it a time machine? Is it the Ark of the Covenant? Is it a giant Nazi cuckoo clock? How awesome would it be if it was a giant Nazi cuckoo clock and instead of little birds that tweeted out the chimes on the hour, it was little Hitlers? Oh please be a giant Nazi cuckoo clock. And then there was the baby with eyes of milk, created in a Petri dish by Nazi scientists. Did that baby grow up to be the psycho terrorist who kidnapped Hank's wife, or are there multiple creamy-eyed test-tube adults running around? And was Hank cloned, or do these "apostles" respawn? Where are the other apostles? Seriously, what's going on here?

And that's the sour takeaway from Zero Hour's first hour: There was so much lunacy, particularly in the opening and closing scenes, yet so little to grasp hold of. Zero Hour jumped out of the television screen, kicked your brain in the crotch, dry-humped its face, and then just left it curled in the corner wondering what just happened. This is better than typical, boring bad television. This is Zero Hour.

On the production side of things, there was an impressive scope to the pilot that helped establish a sense of adventure and added credit to its facade of legitimacy. Hank traveled to the Arctic Circle and it looked fantastic; that was real snow! Arron and cute co-worker Rachel zipped off to Bavaria and the show used some leftover B-roll from The Bachelor as an establishing shot to make the place look convincingly Bavarian. And flashbacks flung us back to pre-World War Deuce Germany with Nazi bannermen, cobbly stoned streets, and empty, cavernous cathedrals. But there's no way this travel-porn will be sustainable in future episodes unless ABC accidentally added an extra zero to the check it wrote for the show's budget.

There's much more to learn about Zero Hour than the details of the mystery artifact or the origin of super babies. We still need to get the show's pulse. How bad is this show going to be? What are we going to get out of the second episode? I don't even know how to wrap things up here other than to say, "Good luck." We'll need it.



NOTES


– How about the tempo change from the opening flashback of the priest getting shot execution-style to Hank and Laila walking through the Brooklyn bazaar with Lilith Fair pop playing in the background? Smoooooooth.

– I actually love Edwards in the role of Hank because he's an atypical choice for an adventure hero. I'd rather see a total dweeb take on the descendants of evil Nazis than another meathead carbon copy, and Edwards has the talent to make the rough dialogue sound better than it actually is.

– I still think Jacinda Barrett (who plays kidnapped wife Laila) is the hottest girl to ever come out of The Real World. I remember having a big old crush on her when I was a young'un and The Real World was still relevant. Years later, she still can't hide her Australian accent, though.

– When Beck (the FBI agent) showed up at Hank's for the first time, her FBI partner didn't get a SINGLE line of dialogue. If you watch this again for some reason, pay attention. He just stands there and stares, completely useless. Then he disappears.

– Is this The Event Part 2? It doesn't help that Hank's wife's name is Laila...




Follow TV.com writer Tim Surette on Twitter if you want to: @TimAtTVDotCom

Comments (200)
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Revolution is brilliant zero hour is brilliant some critics havent got a clue what certain people like and they keep cancelling good show like this flash forward Jericho n threshold to name but a few and I'm sick of it.
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Now I know how Revolution fans feel. The difference being this was a decent show and Tim was way out of line with his review. Yes for those of us who never watched the Librarian on TNT or the National Treasure movies. This was our chance and for American television I think it was going somewhere good and it was well done too bad I would've given it a season at least.
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Nonsense...the show is intriguing...does everything need to be dumbed down for the sake of some tv critic? Then ABC took it off the air before it could even establish an audience.

Yeah...stick with The Bachelor, Dancing with the Stars and American Idol...shows a tv critic can fondle himself by.
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I liked the show and I liked where it was going. I do know what the complete story arc was going to be and although it was a bit on the silly side, as far as where it was going to end up, I would like to have seen how it would have been handled onscreen. I did like the storytelling and the way the plot unfolded on the three episodes that aired.
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did Anthony Edwards invest with Bernie Madoff ? Why else would a great actor be on this program except for the money ?
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Why the negatives about this show? What is not too understand? I'm a bit late, but after returning from a couple of weeks away and trying to catch up on some shows, I have finally watched the first episode and I'm very intrigued. Not confused at all, just intrigued. I was glued to my set for the entire hour and I want to see more. Terrific first episode! I don't know why the ratings are bad and if they continue to be bad, it won't last, but that doesn't change the fact that this is an interesting show!
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P.S. I meant the phrase to say a NEW shift in consciousness
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Mr. Surette I don't understand how you can give this show such a BUM RAP(then you say you didn't hate it) second of all you said that the confusing pilot episode "Strike" didn't offer a very good indication what Zero Hour will really be about. I think it gave a a good enough indication of where it's going In so far as his wife being kidnapped by a phychopath a fight between good and evil. Hank Galliston beliefs as a skeptic is going to take an about face since the kidnapping of his wife and the course of events that happen once he reached that Nazi bunker and saw a reincarnation of himself. None of us really know what this show is going to lead to because these charactes have yet to be developed. That's the mystery that makes you want to keep watching the show.

I can see this as being a pholosophy of a God sequence Christian Muslim Judaism Hindu etc We take different paths but we all believe in a surpreme being .I also think that the show is trying to reveal to us a shift of conconsciouness as what the end of time really means, syncrnicity mans underlying search for meaning Karma a etc A lot of Great shows wrere cancelled who theme was on the path of councious shift "V" The Event, Flash-Forward I hope this show does not she the same fate!

I WISH to GOD that you sit ALL DAY with ABC boss Paul Lee and tell him what a PIECE of $#*+ show the bachelor is!
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Well since there is no god your hope was in vain.
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So now we have German doplegangers?! I did nazi that one coming.
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This is the one & only follow up to the Event. Difference being I recall the Event starting out pretty good to after get to that level of WTFery, Zero Hour just jumped right in. Can't wait for the reviews. Good luck indeed Tim.
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loved it but find myself hopeing its only 13eps long because if it goes on much longer i know we will never have an ending ABC knocked this one out of the no brain dribale and have come up with a show for people with a brain
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I don't know what show this IDIOT reviewer was watching Zero Hour was captivating thrilling & intriguing it had me glued to my seat the entire hour I hope A.BC. does not listen to this guys negative review and keep this show on the air ..A.B.C. could do me a favor and get rid of the bachelor!
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I didn't think it was so disconnected. The problem is, the main character is just completely wrong (or badly acted) or both. And the writing at times was amateur.

1) we got nothing that endeared us towards the main character and his wife..... a walk through a market with boring chit-chat? IF we are suppose to care about her, where was the love?

2) I don't know much about Antony Edwards, but nothing about his character was interesting at all. He has nothing (other than the loss of a wife we hardly knew) that makes him ideal to fight this battle. This is 'what not to do' at day one of writing school.

3) since when can FBI agents sneak off to pursue there own objectives?

Not going to be watching more of this.
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when was THE REAL WORLD ever relevant????
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4 episode rule.. but I have a feeling it will turn into a multi-season show.
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I hope you're right dude I can't believe all of the negative post thst this great show is getting I have been facbooking all of my friends to watch this show to keep it on the air!
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It has a lot of potential. Unfortunately a lot of shows with a bit of complexity don't get a lot of praise... like the show "Awake". Canceled after 1 season even though it was such a great show but was too complex for most people.
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Dude start facebooking & twittering your friends about this show it's the only way to give it exposure. I have a laundry list of Great shows that were cancelled Awake, The Cape, KINGS, Persons Unknown, "V", The Event, No Ordinary family to name a few
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It wasn't bad, but wasn't good either. The story went on pretty quick. Too quick imho. I continue to watch the next couple of episodes. If i don't like what i see, i quit the show.
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Enjoyed it quite a lot, some interesting mystery and intrigue, look forward to watching more, hopefully Tim won't review future episodes.
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Keep watching dude and facebook all of your friends to watch it!
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No. Price is gone; we need Tim for the crazy stuff. Thanks, Tim. BTW, I rather liked the show. I don't need all the answers up front. They've set up quite a mystery and I'll enjoy following it.
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Didn't even make it through the entire episode. I'm not going to keep on watching this. Apart from the rather difficult plot I didn't like the acting much.
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I think if they'd just removed the FBI agent, the episode would've worked a lot better.
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The pilot was pretty bad considering all we saw, the pace was way too fast, no explanation of the story that led to pilot, pretty much everything was way too forced, to make the story believable to the audience, to be honest I really don't know what to expect from next episode.
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Loved it! Not a fan of Dan Brown (I think he is way over-rated) but it fits with my favorite kind of story-telling. The story is in the vein of James Rollins and Steve Berry so far -- ancient secrets coming back to haunt the modern world -- and I love it. I do think the premier should have been two hours by showing the first two episodes. The viewers need more to get hooked and to see where all this is headed. After watching the pilot twice I think I have a good idea and I'm looking forward to see how it pans out. Please do not cancel this show prematurely!
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Great post CasualAdventure We can all do our home work through the social network Facbook. and Twitter ....etc that this show is worth watching and saving!while it's not too late. This is the only way to do it because writing to A.B.C. will fall on to deaf ears!
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I thought it was interesting but don't get too used to it, it won't be around long since the pilot only got a 1.3 rating. We'll be lucky to get 4 or 5 episodes before it's canceled.
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It only got a 1.3 rating because A.B.C. is not giving this show enough exposure Most people have never heard of the show because there are hardly any commercials being aired unlike the STUPID bachelor that gets back to back episodes!
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BTW:
Interesting to see Michael Nyquist show up in american TV. He was the "Mikael Blomkvist" in the original swedish version of "the girl with the dragon tattoo".
And he was way better in that than Daniel Craig in the "new" one. As was Noomi Rapace. but thats just on a side-note :)
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I have to say: WTF!
Sort of disturbing, but I had a good hearty laugh at the nazi-march. But nazis fit this show perfectly. They were into the occult stuff. But milky-eyed babies? Well.
Other than that the dialogue was somewhat painful to listen to at times. especially the FBI lady.

But.... it threw up enough riddels that seemed interesting. The whole setup of the show is just weird. Someone must have been smoking some serious pot. And thats exactly why I'll watch it again. To see what else they come up with.
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i decided to give the show a try although i knew it will get canceled and it was awful i wish i didn't watch it.
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Whoa...when did one of the coolest critics turn into a network sycophant? Oh, so not cool to take us through the long dark "I think I hate it" tunnel and end up in "I really like it" land. ABC clearly blew the dust off a 1995 pilot and rooted thru Tarantino's trash for fill-in.
Anthony Edwards (love him) is so talented and so screwed; when the network refuses to hire a actress who can hide the accent bleed...FBI is now MI5?
Your suggestion to watch it again...screams pay-off.
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I like it. It fits about every conspiracy theory/adventure story stereotype: creepy babies, hidden maps, eternal life, frozen submarines, Nazi experiments, secret religious societies, remote locations, heartless hit men, threat of apocalypse. That's what I expected, and that's what it gave. Not sure what everybody else was expecting.
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All I have to say it WTF!?
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i loved it. You 're judging the show like it was supposed to be a realistic drama.Well it wasn't it was fantasy and it was really good. When you're offering criticism you must judge a show based on how it represents its genre. I'm personally sick and tired of vampires but i'm not saying the vampire dairies are a piece of crap because being undead and having blood for dinner is absurd.That's what it's supposed to be and even though i'm not a fan of the kind it's a good show for it's vampire kind.You bash a show if it's not good for its kind not 'cause its kind ain't your kind.And btw who said it was a demonic baby?On the contrary it said it was a product of an experiment,that science made God irrelevant, that it was war between science and religion!! You people got demon from that? The only actual question that doesn't make sense in the logic of the show at least for now is, why was there a map with the apostle's location in his own clock? He guards the clock with his life therefore never leaves it so for whose eyes is the address for?In case he forgets his own whereabouts? Not to mention that in case they got separated as they did he gives away his super secret hideout.Dear Nazis please return to sender. Any ideas why? That aside loved it!
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I am a sucker for anything history mystery related so this intrigued me from the first time I saw previews for it. The story needs a bit of work to combine the "kidnapped wife" and "secret religious society" elements, but seeing as through this was only the first episode I'd say there's time to make that happen. The "submarine stuck in the ice" thing reminded me of the beginning of National Treasure and the "search for Nazi treasure" thing reminded me of White Collar, but the whole Anthony Edwards clone thing really caught me off guard. But in good way. This show definitely has me intrigued.
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So we have nazis, apostles, a psychotic demonic wifenapping mercenary, some diamond non treasure map, a submarine in the middle of the arctic and an clocks. Lots of clocks. And this is only after episode 1!
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it is almost literally all over the place but I am intrigued. I will give it a few episodes to see where it goes next.
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What's the deal with the magazine they were working for? It was called "Modern skeptic magazine", but it was apparently a magazine for and by complete idiots, with stories about how various supernatural stuff may actually be real. There *are* of course magazines like that, but I doubt that any of them have "skeptic" in the title, or an editor that tells his staff to consider the natural explanations first.
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Or such an amazing office space. How many issues/month can a magazine like that possibly sell?!
Unless they are fronting for a meth lab, how could they possible afford the rent? Or, to suddenly fly all over the world?!

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Yes, that was a *really* cool office. It's always a mystery how people in TV shows can afford to do what they do. I'm sure you remember Friends. Maybe one day we'll find out what Monica was *really* cooking.
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The previews made this show look so bad that I just had to check out an episode to see how bad it was. My face was stuck in a smile the whole time, because the whole thing was so incredibly silly. Not just the story, but e.g that the priests who told them stuff both had movie trailer voices. It was *fun* to watch the episode. Now I want to see a few more. I'm actually still smiling. :)

Should you watch this or not? It depends if you're capable of thinking that something is so bad that it's good. This is *far* sillier than e.g. Flash Forward or The Event, but it could turn out to be fun precisely because of that.
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I sometimes pity TV/movie critics for having to watch this kind of thing. All the same, thank God these guys exist! So I won't have to waste my time watching something that won't probably last one season, which is great, by the way, based on Tim's description. I'll give it a pass - I've seen my share of ridiculousness in shows like Flashforward, The Event...Funny review, though, Tim!!
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I liked it. I really liked it. I'm a bit confused but intrigued. I want to watch the next few episodes to see where they are heading with this.
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It was fun. Reminded me of that horrible adaption of Full Metal Alchemist, but in a good way. After reading the "Should I Watch" article I thought it was going to be sheer lunacy but it was awesome and cool, and maybe it wasn't the most epic pilot in existence, I get that somebody is trying to create something different here. A+ for effort.

In a world we're The Vampire Diaries, Revenge NCIS/CSI and Big Bang Theory reign supreme, and the CW cancels TSC for The Lana Lang Show II, while Last Resort gets cancelled, whoever's behind this really stepped up and tried to be the change in the world that they wanted to see. Three cheers for the writers who recognized that some human people have brain cells and like to use them even when they're watching tv.

The only thing I don't get is the main star. I have no idea who Anthony Edwards is so I'm going to assume that he has a gigantic fanbase? I mean, the guy has zero charisma and looks basically like a thin Louis CK (minus the wittiness). His character has some good lines and I think I get what kind of character they were going for, but he's hard to root for. If they didn't enlist him for his giant fanbase, I don't get it. Seeing his wife made me think, WTF? Who's casting this? He don't have to be Brad/Micheal Pitt or Tom Hardy, but jeez! Did he have to audition for this? He was the best person they could find? So confused.
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Anthony Edwards was Dr Greene on E.R. for over 14 years, he has a huge fan base. He is an excellent actor.
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Not sure how much ER lovers going to tune in to this sci-f mystery quest though. Hope his fan-base is really and truly huge and that they tune in to keep this from getting cancelled cause I'd really hate if this got cancelled because of it.
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Its a vicious cycle. This type of show will probably get cancel because ratings will not be high enough. Knowing that, many audience will not even tune in and thus it will not get a high rating. I personally like this type of mystery show but many times because the series get cancel so we will usually not know the mystery. Invasion and the event are 2 examples.
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My biggest problem was described by someone on another website:
"I just want to correct by advising that the Rosicrucian Order is not nor has anything to do with Religion. AMORC, as a traditional, philosophical and initiatic order, is interested in eternal values and strives to guide it's members toward an approach of absolute truth. This being the case, we must emphasize that it does not in any way constitute a religious movement. In fact, people from all religions and faiths are members of AMORC.
Clarification is needed so that people like yourself don't misconstrue the true meaning and beauty of such a sacred order. "
As a former member, I second this.
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LOL. Do you think anyone cares if that part isn't based on fact? Do you think someone will take what *this show* says seriously?

"Oh I thought the Rosicrucians only dealt with non-religious supernatural stuff, but then I saw Zero Hour, so now I know that it's actually a religious movement."
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This show really had no hope. Up against American Idol and The Big Bang Theory, ABC just put it up there for kicks. But since I'm a sucker for ancient conspiracy theories and Dan Brown-esque mysteries, I had to watch this show, and I honestly didn't care how ridiculous it was. Vatican issued new 12 apostles? Blasphemous or ridiculously funny? I'd say the latter.

I'll continue to watch it until it gets inevitably cancelled.
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I'll put it bluntly. It sucks! It sucks balls!
Did they really made us 2 shots of a framed kiss? I thought only bad photographers did that nowadays.
Did it bother anyone else that ALL the characters reactions were wrong!? because c'mon! If there was someone breaking into my store, i'd call the cops first...
no wait!
If someone entered my shop during business hours, i wouldn't lock myself in the back office!
If my wife got kidnapped, i'd go crazy and i'd be in chock! i wouldn't be "humm! that's an interesting piece of clock we got there!"
Also it didn't feel it was very cold that day on the arctic circle...

This makes me regret alcatraz!
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It's not always cold at the arctic circle. It can be a lot warmer than it appeared to be there.
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So true, it's not uncommon for it to be 50 degrees in July. It's also been reported that 86 degrees is all time high.
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And yet... The frozen submarine remains, trapped in ice and all. No need to try justifying a rubbish TV show with no attention to detail (or anything for that matter)
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So, to recap: a wife is kidnapped, and hubbie tries to find her. The backdrop: something about Nazis who found a way to defeat death, which is why the church appointed 12 new apostles, who have some sort of secret, which, if it fell into the wrong hands, would mean the end of the world, which is why they scattered around the globe, and can only be found with the help of a secret map etched into diamonds.
What do you want? That's about as reasonable as any other mystery show we've seen...
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Not sure what to think about this show ...
The end of the pilot made me think of an episode of The X Files while the Nazi mystery made me think of Indiana Jones (the movies) and the priest dying in Antony Edwards'arms made me laugh coz I thought "Doctor Green could have save him!" ; the journalist inquieries made me think of State of Play, a UK miniserie, without the quality of the actors.
Many many shows in Zero Hour ; let's hope this show find its identity fast !
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Not sure about this one, but i'll tune in for the next episode.
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A bit like an episode of Dr. Who, which I love. Nothing wrong with a show that has you guessing wtf is going to happen next.
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As a Whovian myself, I didn't find the similarities between Dr Who and Zero Hour. What did you find the two shows have in common ?
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I have only watched part of the show but comparing it do Doctor Who is a way stretch. Doctor Who is pure genius. This show will have to prove itself. I guess if you are just comparing the suspense of it all maybe, but still a vast stretch.
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Why does anything really out there and different need to be bad. Too much of what's on TV these days is boring and predictable. This show may be rough around the edges, and way over the top, but do you know what else it is? Entertaining. Other shows that had a similar feel include "The Event", "FlashForward", "Alcatraz", and pretty much all of Joss Whedon's efforts since "Buffy", not to mention "Lost". What's wrong with just turning your brain off for an hour, and going along for the ride? Of the aforementioned shows, "Lost" was the only one that succeeded, and what did they do with it? After all the buildup, the ending was a bit of a ripoff. All the rest were cancelled before they had a chance to show where they were going. Personally, if I'm given a choice between clocks, Nazis, and secret societies, and yet another cop show, reality show, game show, or talent show, I'll go with the first one every time. Too bad it likely won't make it to the end of the season, 'cause I'd like to see how it ends. Maybe a final apocalyptic showdown between Angels and Demons at Castle Wolfenstein?
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I yawned alot and laughed a little. I'll stick around for the second episode though because any show that has milky eyed demon babies deserves a second chance
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I found the pilot interesting, but it also left me with this fear of it turning into Ashley Judd's Missing. If it just turns into Anthony Edwards looking for his wife I'll stop watching sooner rather than later.
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I don't think it's completely fair to judge a show by its pilot -- everything always seems stilted and uncomfortable, and more often than enough, there's waaay too much exposition. I didn't get a terrible feeling from Zero Hour, but then, I was pretty excited to watch this show. I love this stuff. I sincerely hope it continues to develop and I will definitely be watching.
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I'm not a fan of the "but it's a pilot" excuse. Did you watch the premiere of "The Americans"? Sure, it had its exposition, but it's about HOW it got that exposition in--the episode was beautifully shot, well-written, and incredibly acted. All pilots are not created equal!
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I liked it. 99% of you will disagree with me but hey it was still good in my book.
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