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The cafe appears in the agricultural town of Fort Weatherhill, but Frank is more concerned with his tabloid. He is in awe of a particular writer, Harry Tambor, to Fay's amazement. Blackie wonders if their new country locale will provide a good story for Frank's idol, but Frank seriously doubts it. "Guess again!" chuckles Blackie, and disappears. The television clicks on.

Harry Tambor has been called to the office of his editor - Sid Hogoboom, played by Blackie - who claims that Tambor hasn't been giving the Conspirer any good stories lately. Hogoboom wants one by tomorrow. Harry is irked when Sid refuses all of his celebrity story ideas. "'Aliens Ate My Lunch,' is that what you want?" "Now you're talking!" grins Sid. "And pictures...lots, lots of pictures! Do it as if your job depended on it." As Harry leaves, Blackie disappears; then the real editor enters and asks his secretary if she's been smoking cigars in the room.

Frank wants to know why Blackie is jerking Harry's chain; Fay just wants to know why Frank so idolizes the guy. After all, he makes all that stuff up - doesn't he? Outside, one of the cows lifts off the ground and floats up toward the sky...

Harry drives down a country road, trying to think of a good story title. He picks up three hitchhikers from Romania, and as they drive off, a large shadow falls over the road.

The town sheriff, Dan Filcher, comes into the cafe, surprised by its sudden appearance. He starts serious flirtation with Fay, who is not amused. The sheriff asks Blackie if he has a permit for the cafe. Of course Blackie doesn't, but the sheriff is only too happy to be bribed. Fay returns with coffee, and he talks to her about how attached the local farmers are to their cows as Frank watches Harry and his new friends on the television.

Harry has agreed to buy Fred, Earl and Winston dinner if they help him come up with a story. They suggest the missing cow story - farmers don't know why, but lots of their cows are disappearing. They then declare their hunger, so Harry pulls over to the cafe and goes in.

Frank is thrilled to meet his idol. Harry wants to take the sheriff's picture for his story, and Blackie directs him to the bathroom so he can freshen up. In the bathroom, the sheriff hears a cowbell, and he finds a cow in one of the stalls. As he backs away, he bumps into a tractor, then appears in a field. Convinced that he has been drugged by rustlers and dumped in the field, he heads off to find the cafe again.

Fred, Earl and Winston come in, and Harry takes them to a table. Fay comes to take their order and is surprised by the trio's unusual manner of speaking. Meanwhile, Harry, having gotten an idea, goes to the phone and calls Sid. Blackie hurries into the kitchen and gets on a phone in the refrigerator to take Harry's call. Harry then leaves the cafe and goes into town to see if people have seen any UFOs, and to spread a little fear and gossip. By nightfall, the whole town is talking about aliens.

In the cafe, the trio are driving Frank and Fay crazy with food orders. Frank asks Blackie what he's up to; Blackie says Frank should be more worried about what Harry is up to. Harry walks in with a box full of costume pieces, then ushers the trio out. "I wish I knew what he was up to," Fay grins. "No no no, don't say that!" cries Frank. Fay puts her hand over her mouth, but it is too late - she phases out.

Harry has assembled a spaceship of foil and other assorted bits. Fred flies it with the aid of a kite as Harry activates the lights that are set all around it. He picks up a megaphone and makes weird sound effects as the sight of the flying spaceship startles the townsfolk - and Fay among them. The townsfolk become frenzied. Fred accidentally lets go of the kite, so Harry improvises and issues an alert over the megaphone that the ship is going down. Fred lights a fuse, which sets off a barrage of fireworks. The frightened townspeople storm to the site of the crash, not heeding Fay's reassurances.

Harry outfits the trio in green alien suits as the townspeople begin to search the countryside. He then turns on the headlights of his car, dazzling the people as the three "aliens" walk over a hilltop. Harry uses the megaphone to pose as an alien voice, telling the people that the aliens have come in peace to observe their ways and customs, their vehicles, animals and shelter. The people latch onto the mention of animals, and the sheriff fires, knocking off one of the aliens' antennae. Fred, Earl and Winston turn and flee. Fay tries to persuade the mob that it's only a hoax, but the sheriff doesn't believe her. He wants to kill the aliens and lure tourists to the town. They all charge after the aliens.

Harry has driven away, stranding the trio, who are forced to flee from the mob on foot. Fay manages to find them once the group of people has passed by, but so does a rogue marksman. In the cafe, the television displays the man aiming at the "Martians," and Frank punches him out, causing him to appear in the woods with Fay and the others. The violence scares the trio, who run away.

Harry goes back to the cafe to call Sid, making Blackie run back to the refrigerator. Harry tells him about the story, and says that the UFO incident can't be traced back to them as long as the townspeople kill the aliens. He gets a twinge of guilt but glosses over it and continues to describe the story.

Frank manages to stop the trio. They finally recognize who he is, but not before the sheriff and his group find them. Frank tries to tell him that the trio are people, not aliens, but the sheriff shoots him in the arm. They run away as the mob opens fire, and end up in the cafe, thanks to Blackie.

Fay is scared by how close the bullet came to seriously injuring Frank, but he isn't so worried - he's already dead. Blackie tells him that when they go out of the cafe, they take their chances...they could die again, for keeps this time.

The sheriff pulls up outside the cafe. The trio go out the back door, falling into outer space. The sheriff runs in and, spying Frank, Fay and Blackie, assumes that the aliens can change shape. Before the townsfolk can do anything drastic, Harry comes in and tries to prevent it, but the sheriff just wants to shoot them. The cafe residents are hustled outside and lined up. Harry takes a picture of the firing squad, and the sheriff decides he doesn't want a witness, so Harry joins the other three in line.

As the townsfolk get ready to fire, an alien ship rumbles overhead and sends out a pod which grabs Harry. He snaps pictures as he is lifted up in a beam of light. While the others are distracted, the sheriff grabs Fay, but she makes him look the other way while she elbows him in the stomach, then Frank delivers a punch across the jaw. The sheriff tries to run out through the cafe. Frank punches him again, and he pulls the gun on Frank. Fay runs up behind him and slams a frying pan down on his head. The cafe starts to rumble, and then a bright light shines around the front door. It swings open, revealing a pristine white hallway. A cow emerges and walks through the cafe, followed by others. Blackie's cigar falls from his mouth in surprise. The townspeople are thrilled to see their cows come back, and call for them by name.

Earl, Winston and Fred - or Earth, Wind and Fire, as they prefer to be called - follow the cows out. They really are aliens, from a planet near Orion, and came to study Earth. A multi-sided container comes sliding out of the ship, with Harry inside. He was rejected for being too low on the food chain. Before they go, Fred pulls off his head, revealing that he is, in fact, a brightly-colored avian creature. They take the sheriff into the ship, which departs.

Outside, the townspeople are sort of repentant. Seeing the container holding Harry, they decide to go back and start building the Fort Weatherhill Museum of Martian Artefacts. They lift Harry back to town, and the cafe fades away.

Harry Tambor intends to make his story into a movie, giving all his profits to the town - after his overhead is paid.

Earth, Wind and Fire are promoted to captains, and now live in luxury on Xnorkkus, Quadrant +9.

Sheriff Dan Filcher lost all desire to pursue law enforcement and became one of the largest importers of pure-bred Holsteins on the planet Hörst-bodurtus.

"Frank, Fay and Blackie continue to work in the cafe, which is open twenty-four hours day and night, serving the best coffee, burgers and fries this side of Hörst-bodurtus. They all invite you to stop in sometime soon and try the special for yourself!"