Forums: Off-Topic: do you get your feelings hurt when someone doesn't want to be friends with you?

 
  • Avatar of roscopicosound

    roscopicosound

    [1]Dec 2, 2006
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    just a little curious is all because where i work there's alot of employees where i work. sometimes a fellow employee seems to be trying to become personal friends with me outside of work and sometimes i am just not interested in that (from certain employees). i'm not a snob, i'm friendly and respectful towards everyone but sometimes i don't feel like being anything more than work buddies with some people i work with because i don't feel that chemistry with them, then they seem resentful about it to me, they're not as friendly or just plain ignore me or cop an attitude with me if  i don't take them up on a invite or something. now i don't get all hurt when someone does the same thing to me, so i wonder why they do this to me when i don't want to socialize with them outside of work. this doesn't happen often, but it has happend a couple of times with fellow employees and again most recently with 1 person. what do you think? am i a snob or not? i'm just curious about some complete strangers opinions who don't know me at all except for the small bit of info i put here. thanks.

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    maureen_johnson

    [2]Dec 2, 2006
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    It does kind of hurt my feelings when someone doesn't want to be my friend. It think it hurts a lot of people's feelings.

    You start to wonder is there is something wrong with you.

    Like "Why doesn't he like me? Am I mean? Am I not fun to be around?"

    Edited on 12/02/2006 12:15pm
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    Moon-Knight

    [3]Dec 2, 2006
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    it's worse when someone who already was your friend doesen't wanna be friends with you anymore...
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    maureen_johnson

    [4]Dec 2, 2006
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    Moon-Knight wrote:
    it's worse when someone who already was your friend doesen't wanna be friends with you anymore...
    True...
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    Moon-Knight

    [5]Dec 2, 2006
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    it happend to me around a week ago...someone was in deep trouble and I tried helping out , and she apriciated it... but when she decided things are fine she just got rid off me cause I got "usless" again...
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    she_is_wicked

    [6]Dec 2, 2006
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    I'm going through that with some of my friends . . . not the best situation.

    I get hurt, but I do get over it when it's someone who I wasn't really friendswith in the first place, it just takes time.
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    PB_Lover

    [7]Dec 2, 2006
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    No, I'm so f***ing awesome, if someone doesn't want to be friends with me, then they're missing out
    Edited on 12/02/2006 12:53pm
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    PB_Lover

    [8]Dec 2, 2006
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    roscopicosound wrote:

    just a little curious is all because where i work there's alot of employees where i work. sometimes a fellow employee seems to be trying to become personal friends with me outside of work and sometimes i am just not interested in that (from certain employees). i'm not a snob, i'm friendly and respectful towards everyone but sometimes i don't feel like being anything more than work buddies with some people i work with because i don't feel that chemistry with them, then they seem resentful about it to me, they're not as friendly or just plain ignore me or cop an attitude with me if  i don't take them up on a invite or something. now i don't get all hurt when someone does the same thing to me, so i wonder why they do this to me when i don't want to socialize with them outside of work. this doesn't happen often, but it has happend a couple of times with fellow employees and again most recently with 1 person. what do you think? am i a snob or not? i'm just curious about some complete strangers opinions who don't know me at all except for the small bit of info i put here. thanks.



    You're not a snob. I don't blame you for not wanting to hang out with them outside of work. Plus, thats like taking a risk because if something goes wrong with them you're going to keep on having to see them everytime you go to work and that can get really stressful in a work enviornment.
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    Tessa_Patton

    [9]Dec 2, 2006
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    Sometimes people believes that friendship is like an exclusive relationship. I mean that friendship is a serious value for me and I will do everything I can to help my friends even if they won't help me in the same way. I was too sorry when I had to broke a friendship with a girl I used to hang out with. She pretended to be my only friend, becoming jealous if I had some other friends and a boyfriend too.

    Maybe I hurted her. Anyway I don't get hurted if someone doesn't want to be friends with me, I can accept that somebody doesn't want to have me like a friend.
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    Moon-Knight

    [10]Dec 2, 2006
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    if to be honest I don't want most of the people being my friends...
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    JAKandDAX123

    [11]Dec 2, 2006
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    Moon-Knight wrote:
    it's worse when someone who already was your friend doesen't wanna be friends with you anymore...

    True. That hurts alot :[

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    dancingbeatle

    [12]Dec 2, 2006
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    I use to get my feelings hurt when people didn't want to be friends with me. I got over that as I got older, and relized that there are people out there who I can be friends with.
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    crastinates

    [13]Dec 2, 2006
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    I don't think there's anything wrong with not wanting to be best buds with your co-workers. However, you should probably keep in mind the message it sends them. I don't know about you, but I find it hard to be friendly to someone who seems unfriendly or antisocial.

    I'd say doing something casual (e.g. a drink after work) very occasionally (once every few months) is a good compromise. If you work full-time, you probably get most of your socializing in your job so I think it's important to be on good terms with your coworkers.
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    aoshoushou

    [14]Dec 3, 2006
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    Moon-Knight wrote:
    if to be honest I don't want most of the people being my friends...

    me too.

    and I don't think there's anything wrong with not wanting to be friend with the person you don't like.

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    roscopicosound

    [15]Dec 3, 2006
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    crastinates wrote:
    I don't think there's anything wrong with not wanting to be best buds with your co-workers. However, you should probably keep in mind the message it sends them. I don't know about you, but I find it hard to be friendly to someone who seems unfriendly or antisocial. I'd say doing something casual (e.g. a drink after work) very occasionally (once every few months) is a good compromise. If you work full-time, you probably get most of your socializing in your job so I think it's important to be on good terms with your coworkers.

    i understand the message it might send, that's why i still act cool with them and not all akward or trying to avoid them like they're a diseased freak, however they still get resentful and usually don't say it but show it.

    i've tried that before with the drink but what that is, it's an agenda for them, then they get into wanting to loan me something (like some movies) and drop it off at my house. now if i show that i don't want to be more personal of friends or have drinks on a regular person then they get more mad because they sort of expect it since you already had a drink with them on your own time outside of work.

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  • Avatar of roscopicosound

    roscopicosound

    [16]Dec 3, 2006
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    PB_Lover wrote:
    I don't blame you for not wanting to hang out with them outside of work. Plus, thats like taking a risk because if something goes wrong with them you're going to keep on having to see them everytime you go to work and that can get really stressful in a work enviornment.

    that is true, however i have a couple of personal friends that i have made at work, we hang out often and have for a long time and i'm not worried about things going bad.

    however some people know this or find this out and try to get into our social circle, which is alright if the chemistry is right between all of us all. one experience i had was getting to know a new hire that was cool at first, he was also new to town and didn't know anyone, so i invited him to a bbq that my friend was having at their house, and this guy started raggin' on me all the time at this party and seemed like he was trying to outdo everything i did in front of my friends, other odd things happen like that at times so you have to be careful, if i get an odd vibe from someone then i don't risk it, just to avoid any drama.

    Edited on 12/03/2006 10:11am
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  • Avatar of roscopicosound

    roscopicosound

    [17]Dec 3, 2006
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    PB_Lover wrote:
    No, I'm so f***ing awesome, if someone doesn't want to be friends with me, then they're missing out

    that's how i see it too. and even if there is something about me that's strange that they don't wanna be friends with me because of, then so what? so they think i'm strange, i don't care. i never wonder/worry "what's wrong with me?".

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    PB_Lover

    [18]Dec 3, 2006
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    roscopicosound wrote:

    PB_Lover wrote:
    No, I'm so f***ing awesome, if someone doesn't want to be friends with me, then they're missing out

    that's how i see it too. and even if there is something about me that's strange that they don't wanna be friends with me because of, then so what? so they think i'm strange, i don't care. i never wonder/worry "what's wrong with me?".



    I'm the same way
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    EntwineX

    [19]Dec 4, 2006
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    I don't really know if I would get hurt or not since I rarely make the initiative. But I've noticed that when declining of invitations people's attitudes change towards me ..and I guess in their situation I would get a bit hurt also.
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    hockey_alive

    [20]Dec 4, 2006
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    I have been hurt for that reason atleast four times every school year. I am in grade 10 and I still have not a single friend in the world...except Jesus!
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