Alan: (about a picture of him his mother kept) On the edge it says, 'My beloved son, Allie.' And I mean, that was a very important moment for me, because I saw through all of the psychosis, all the illness, the mental disorganization. And I saw through to this woman who loved her boy.
Alan: (on his mother's mental health) She thought people were trying to kill her. She thought I was trying to kill her. She thought I was trying to kill her very often.
Alan: (about early childhood memories) My earliest memories are standing in the wings watching my father singing while the chorus girls danced half-naked.
Alan: (about his recent nominations) It's better than that. It's...I really mean this...it's encouragement. It means I'm making progress. That's what it meant to me.
Alan:(about their daughter)...,she was smiling at us. It wasn't gas; it was love beyond the limits of anatomy. We called her Eve. For us, she was the first woman ever born.
Alan: (On Tolerance) A peach is not its fuzz, a toad is not its warts, a person is not hsi or her crankiness. If we can make distinctions, we can be tolerant, and we can get to the heart of our problems instead of wrestling endlessly with their gross exteriors.
Alan: (To a graduating class American Academy of Arts) Show up on time. Know your lines. Respect your director, your fellow actors and yourself.
Alan: (From his memoir) My mother didn't try to stab my father until I was six.
Alan: (on the success of "M*A*S*H") I think it was because we did stories about people that really lived. Those people in the MASH units really went through hell, the patients and the doctors and the nurses. We tried to tell their stories, certainly with comic invention. It wasn't a documentary, but we based many of our episodes on what the people really went through.
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