Billy Crystal

Billy: Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

Billy: (on his wife) The reason we are together is because she puts lead in my shoes and doesn't let me fly off the earth. And it's always been that way.

Billy: As soon as they announced the nominations, I'd wake up thinking Shakespeare jokes - Shakespeare in love, Shakespeare in Heat, Private Ryan, General Ryan, Saving Shakespeare, Ryan in Love, y'know?

Billy: Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I'd always go off book and start improvising.

Billy: I had really good hearing and when you're scared it gets heightened so you hear scratching noises or something.

Billy: At some point I stopped stand-up because I didn't have something to say on a nightly basis.

Billy: I had really good hearing and when you're scared it gets heightened so you hear scratching noises or something.

Billy: As a director and an actor, I encourage improvisation but in character and in the moment of what it is.

Billy: Nobody is more truthful when he's acting than De Niro.

Billy: That's the thing about jazz: it's free flowing, it comes from your soul.

Billy: The house smelled of brisket and bourbon. That's the music I grew up on.

Billy: The epic animation, the whale, Cleo, all the other stuff that Disney was able to put in movies, amazing ideas.

Billy: The inspiration was this great group of 40 or 50 relatives, sometimes for Thanksgiving or Passover or something and my brothers would just go up and make them laugh.

Billy: In high school, I was the class comedian as opposed to the class clown. The difference is the class clown is the guy who drops his pants at the football game, the class comedian is the guy who talked him into it.

Billy: (to Robin Williams on "Father's Day") No, there is no dead body in the middle of the road. You didn't hit anyone.