Charlie: I can still remember the precise moment when I finally realised what a chronic control freak I am. It was a Wednesday, and I was calmly designing the uniforms for my proposed global Reich on a computer, but the mouse wouldn't work properly, so I stood up and repeatedly smacked it against the wall like a tiny plastic coconut, screaming insults at God, decrying his intolerable insubordination and telling him he was fired. And a shard of shattered mouse hit me in the eye and set me blinking uncontrollably. I didn't like that. I don't like "uncontrollably".